Who said this: "I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job."?

No wait. Wait.

Who said this?

"I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport."

And this?

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

Yeah, that one's a dead giveway, isn't it. OK, you can say it now. Go for it.

The DOOFUS!