Chocolate is a vegetable, right?

Either that or I have to get to the grocery store this afternoon.

Maybe we can get President the Donald to rescind some of those pesky dietary rules, too.

We will never quit solving problems you don't have

Volvo's Large Animal Detection System Spots Moose, Deer, and Hits the Brakes | WIRED


Tommy's dad is bigger than yours

Tom Brady's dad blasts Roger Goodell for 'witch hunt' | Boston Herald

"'Tommy never got suspended for deflating footballs,' Brady Sr. said last night."

I’m an NFC guy myself.


All that inside stuff you know about weather is kind of almost possibly true

Exploring the Accuracy of Weather’s Most Enduring Folk Wisdom | Weather Underground


Has this aways been a heritage and if so, why am I just now finding out?

I feel guilty even mentioning this

Winter Misery Index: Who's Had It the Worst? | Weather Underground

But of course there’s still February.

And you were hoping…

TrumpBeat: There Is No Pivot | FiveThirtyEight

"If there is one takeaway from Trump’s first full week in office, it is this: He meant it."

Hope, it turns out, is fine unless there’s none. Then it’s self-deception.

Just a little urban renewal, Officer

Queens man pleads guilty to swiping $6G in Home Depot supplies - NY Daily News

“[Walked out] with an orange cart filled with RockSolid clear epoxy, a Tyvek house wrap, primer sealer…recessed lighting, a Moen faucet fixture, a ceiling medallion…"

OK, we give up. What is a ceiling medallion? 

Today is Mozart's birthday

Just pointing out. If you want to hear Mozart all day you can try streaming Chicago’s classical music station WFMT, or probably just about any other one, or any streaming service, or, if you’re still living in the last century, play a CD.

Tomorrow is National Data Security Day which includes, incredibly but perhaps hopefully, a Congressional Staff Data Privacy Day Lunch Briefing. We know of no corresponding event for the DNC.

Be safe out there.

Six if them are American

Report: Eight Men Own As Much Wealth As Poorest Half Of World

"A report from Oxfam International shows eight men own as much wealth as the poorest 3.6 billion people in the world. Oxfam says new data from India and China suggests previous estimates of global wealth concentration credited the poorest half of the world with too much wealth."


We lie you not

NPR And The Word 'Liar': Intent Is Key : The Two-Way : NPR

"NPR's senior vice president for news, Michael Oreskes, says NPR has decided not to use the word 'lie'…"

We are here in the bluest part…

…of one of the two verifiably bluest states in the union, and yet…

Greenfield councilor calls for security cameras on the common

"A town councilor has drafted a resolution calling for security cameras on the Town Common after the creche put up annually by the Keep Christ in Christmas Committee was vandalized for at least the third year in a row.…

"Muzyka-Pyfrom’s resolution calls upon Mayor William Martin to send an appropriation to the council for approval of the full cost of one or more cameras to provide security for people and property on the common. It also authorizes the mayor to apply for and spend any state, federal or private grants or gifts for such a purpose, and adopt a policy of storing video footage in conformity with other town policies governing the storage of security footage on other town-owned property."

Maybe we should put up a monument to Fox News.


Sprinting sounds like a pretty good idea

Brr! Winter nights in Austria are cold for naked cyclist
"State broadcaster ORF says the biker — nude and drunk — was detained after a nighttime joyride that included trying to steer his cycle through the revolving door of a hotel, pulling a fire alarm and then dropping his bike to sprint through part of the southern city of Villach with police in hot pursuit."

Claqueurs trending

Lookups for 'Claque' Spike Following Reports of Trump's CIA Visit - Trending 1/23/2017 | Merriam-Webster

Merriam-Webster is known as a descriptive, rather than prescriptive dictionary (another of which is the OED), my favorite kind. Descriptive dictionaries record how words are used, not necessarily how they should be used.

So I’m just imagining that someday, perhaps before too long, it will update its definition of the word, “trump." 

Sweet dreams

This is what $20 million hidden under a mattress looks like | New York Post

"Ever wondered what $20 million hidden under a mattress looks like? Well, the US Attorney’s Office in Boston has you covered."

I ran out of donuts so I went back to bed

Donuts were the only reason I got out of it. Bed. It was cold and it was dark and there was snow in the road. But there were donuts in the kitchen. So I was up and awake. Until the donuts ran out.

Now the snowplow has gone past too fast and buried the sidewalk. And plowed in the driveway. And here I am needing to go to the donut store for more.


If you’re an iOS person…

Corny joke alert

Truck Driver Loses 38,000 Pounds of Marbles on Indianapolis Interstate | FOX40


Plus he didn't think much of Loretta Lynch's shabby airplane

The Clintons are hatching a plan for their comeback | New York Post

"Bill Clinton has been blasting FBI Director James Comey for interfering in the election."

But props for nice use of the word, “hatching,” there, NYPost.

I'm loving this whole idea about alternative facts…

…and I'm picking the Packers to win the Super Bowl by a yuge score.

Also, this finally puts an end to the argument about standardized testing in schools so we can go on and start arguing about something new. Like how big that crowd really was.

So 15% defective then?

If President the Donald wants to fix something maybe he could start with this

ME: I'd like an Egg McMuffin and a black coffee.
HE: Cream or sugar?
ME: Aaaaaaiii
[Later I stop by a drugstore where a cashier is trying to log herself into her terminal. It's a touchscreen, but her fingernails are so long she can't touch it….]

On second thought, maybe he should start with something easier.


Hard to believe, I know, but it gets worse from here

Watching Trump Win from the White House - The New Yorker

"November 8, 2016, began like any other big night in Obama-world: with chicken fingers and waffle fries. "

The guy is unhinged

Get ready for a four-year-long pageant - The Washington Post
"Unless, of course, all those potential adversaries stop taking the bait. That’s what it will take to turn the tables on the political dynamic now in place."
President the Donald, I’m talking about here, in case you’re wondering. That speech at the CIA yesterday, in front of the Memorial Wall, makes the point all by itself.

[Although, well, it may not be politic to notice, but the CIA was established on this day—January 22—in 1946. If there really are 38 stars on the wall, as Trump’s speech suggested, given the state of American industry since 1946, that’s not too bad a safety record after all.]

Nonetheless, the speech and the staging of it were, IMO, downright scary, 

[CORRECTION: There are 87 stars on the wall,  according to the CIA web site.]

It was the H.W. one, for the record

Dr. Price’s marvelous medicine for your stock portfolio - The Washington Post

"Bush quoted Thomas Jefferson, from 1774: 'The whole art of government consists in the art of being honest.'"

Maybe it’s time for a musical about Thomas Jefferson.

Pack those birds!

[Context] | The Lords of Lambeau, by Austin Smith | Harper's Magazine

"The Packers won ten games that first year, besting the Marinette Northerners, the Racine Iroquois, and the Stambaugh Miners — losing only one game, the last of the season, to the Beloit Fairies."

Go Packers. Add the Falcons to that win column. (About Beloit, we have no idea.)

A little soggy but, hey, free delivery!