Giant mirrors in space!

The US government wants the world's scientists to develop technology to block sunlight as a last-ditch way to halt global warming, the Guardian has learned. It says research into techniques such as giant mirrors in space or reflective dust pumped into the atmosphere would be "important insurance" against rising emissions, and has lobbied for such a strategy to be recommended by a major UN report on climate change, the first part of which will be published on Friday.

Whaddaya bet the DOOFUS thought that one up himself? It really sounds like a DOOFUS idea, doesn't it? Maximum cost, minimum chance of actually accomplishing anything. Of course these mirrors won't actually have to accomplish anything because by the time they're ready we'll all be running our cars on swamp grass or whatever that stuff was. But then, so what? We can always figure out something fun to do with them. I mean, hey baby, if you think mirrors on the ceiling are kinky....

See if you can follow this logic.

The DOOFUS, speaking at a DuPont "facility" in Delaware the other day - at least as far as Chidanand Rajghatta of the Times of India can be believed - spoke as follows: We want the economy in India to grow because then they can buy more of our stuff, but if the economy in India grows the Indians will use more oil which will drive the cost of oil up, and that's why we need a bunch of Indian scientists to come over here and figure out how we can save oil.

No? OK, how about this? I went to the grocery store and discovered they had some natural puffy cheese things which (I'm reading the label here) are yellow instead of orange, since there is nothing more unnatural than that orange stuff, so I bought some and now I can eat all the puffy cheese things I want.

Rudy plays Smooch the DOOFUS in New Hampshire.

Giuliani, reports the Carpetbagger, got all gushy in the Granite State the other day, seeming to compare Bush to Lincoln by pointing out "Lincoln even faced riots in New York City because people were unhappy with the war. 'They wanted to quit because it was getting too tough.'"

As Guiliani surely knows, however, he having been employed in the Big Apple himself for a while, the Civil War-era New York riots were not protests against the war, necessarily, but protests against the draft - probably why they're called the New York City draft riots - and the rioters were rioting not because things were "getting too tough," they were rioting because Lincoln, a Republican, was trying to save all the deferments for Trickshot Dick.

OK, you're right, I did just make that last part up. Trickshot Dick didn't need a deferment in that war because Lincoln's "Enrollment Act" contained a nifty clause that let guys who had the money just buy their way out.

skippy sez...

you can't spell "ohio" without "o ho!"

Feeling warmer?

Here's a very cool (well, actually, warm) animated map (click "play") that illustrates the change in US temperature zones (called "hardiness zones" by the USDA) since 1990.

Times reviews new movie about werewolves in love.

“Blood & Chocolate” is “Romeo and Juliet” with fewer manners and more exotic dentition.

(NYTimes)

Whoa! These guys catch on fast!

Parliament in recent months has been at a standstill. Nearly every session since November has been adjourned because as few as 65 members made it to work, even as they and the absentees earned salaries and benefits worth about $120,000.

And this.

Deals on important legislation, most recently the oil law, now take place largely out of public view, with Parliament — when it meets — rubber-stamping the final decisions.

(Corrente)

No that's not the US Congress (although yeah, you're right, that's what it sounds like), that's the Iraqi Parliament at work. Or maybe not so much.

But it's wonderful news! If those parliament guys keep it up we might not have to bring any troops home by August - they could be living in our 51st state!

Blizzard arrives, decides not to stay.

Some days are just good news from start to end.

On Wednesday, [Anheuser-Busch] provided a sneak look at its advertising plans for the 2007 Super Bowl of Ads. It's a pleasure -- and a relief -- to report this year's group of eight or nine spots looks as if it won't include a single resounding horse fart, no kicks to the male crotch and nary a lecherous monkey.

(Chicago Sun-Times)

Reason No. 8,422 I probably won't ever get on the cable.

When wax models of the Beckhams were introduced at Madame Tussaud's in New York last week, many visitors were unable to identify them. To boost their profile, the Beckhams are considering a reality TV show on the Fox network.

(Sidney Morning Herald)

A YAME spectacular: Tony Snowjob's credibility completely vanishes before your very eyes.

As reported by Wonkette:

Tony Snow: “The Iranian people are more pro American than any American university faculty.”

Do you think the Democrats have stopped beating their wives?

OK, yeah, you're right, I just made that question up. In the headline. This, however, according to Media Matters, is a real question from a recent Faux News "poll":

"Do you think most Democrats want the Iraq plan President Bush announced last week to succeed and lead to a stable Iraq or do they want it to fail and for him to have to withdraw U.S. troops in defeat?"

Hey! This guy should have a blog!

The U.S.-led invasion of Iraq in 2003 was an "idiot decision," Iraqi Vice-President Adel Abdul Mahdi said on Thursday, according to a Reuters article.

"Iraq was put under occupation, which was an idiot decision," Mahdi told the World Economic Forum in Davos.

(Raw Story)

(Emphasis mine.)

Teddy pulls out a few stops.

Travel with a laptop? You ought to read this.

January 19, 2007 (Computerworld) -- The next time you're at an airport looking for a wireless hot spot, and you see one called "Free Wi-Fi" or a similar name, beware -- you may end up being victimized by the latest hot-spot scam hitting airports across the country.

You could end up being the target of a "man in the middle" attack, in which a hacker is able to steal the information you send over the Internet, including usernames and passwords. And you could also have your files and identity stolen, end up with a spyware-infested PC and have your PC turned into a spam-spewing zombie. The attack could even leave your laptop open to hackers every time you turn it on, by allowing anyone to connect to it without your knowledge.

So we were sitting around trying to finish the dumb speech thing...

...and somebody said "Come on, people, I need some ideas here" and somebody else said "Well why don't we toss in that old 'national service' gag, it always gets a laugh" and somebody else said "Yeah, and why don't we send out for pizza" so that's what we did.

"How this corps would be designed and established, and how [government] resources would support this effort, would need to be determined," White House spokeswoman Emily Lawrimore said yesterday. "We are looking forward to working with interested members of Congress on how best to develop this idea."

(Boston Globe)

Breaking some new weather ground here this morning...

...new for this year, that is...with the weather widget reading -1 at 6:30 AM. Of course I don't know how accurate the weather widget is. I'm hoping it's a little off on the negative side. Like - oh, I don't know - about 40º. But the good news is, the other day forecast cold in the upcoming week - Monday - keeps warming up a little every day, in a forecastly way, and is now hovering around 22. Which is balmy by current standards. So maybe we can use up all the cold today and be done with it. Go spring.

Tactical pants!

Woohoo. Check this out. You can get tactical pants from these guys. Which would be a whole lot better than just ordinary regular pants. You know, for tactical purposes. Or whatever.

Cucumbers and spaghetti? Are they kidding here?

JENA, GERMANY - For three years, scientists at the University of Jena tried to persuade Mats the sloth to cooperate in an experiment on animal movement. But nothing they tried -- not even the promise of cucumbers and spaghetti -- could persuade the lethargic Mats to get up off the floor of his cage, climb a pole and climb back down.

(UNDERNEWS)

So your honey's complaining you never buy her anything romantic?

Is that your problem, Bunky? Well here's a find from our YAME fashion desk.

"Light-up bras make a popular addition to any outfit, and will definitely bring you attention," the company, Enlighted, says on its Web site (www.enlighted.com)....

Enlighted says the clothing is safe and comfortable, despite all the wiring and the battery needed to power the lights.

(Reuters)

But the horse doesn't even get its name mentioned. How fair is that?

Austro-Russian soprano Anna Netrebko will also add glamour to the red velvet splendour of the world famous Opera House when she comes on stage in a horse-drawn carriage at the ball to sing a Manon aria, [Vienna] State Opera Director Ioan Holender said.

Celebrity heiress Paris Hilton is expected to appear on the arm of Viennese entrepreneur and socialite Richard Lugner....

"Only Paris Hilton and the horse are getting paid for their gig," he said.

(Reuters)

Whatever you do, DON'T READ THIS.

ANTWERP, Belgium (Reuters)

I'm stocking up on fly swatters myself.

If you feel something crawling on your neck, it might be a wasp or a bee. Or it might be something much more dangerous.

Israel is developing a robot the size of a hornet to attack terrorists. And although the prototype will not fly for three years, killer Micro Air Vehicles, or MAVs, are much closer than that.

(Wired)

Faux News finally finds its niche.

Yesterday, Fox News host and global warming activist Neil Cavuto hosted a roundtable discussion for a group of feisty, opinionated...Hooters waitresses, in celebration of their 2007 calendar.

(HuffPo)

Now if they can just figure out how to sell it in the checkout line....

And how wonderful is this?

Maybe I just haven't been paying attention or something - I don't read CNN as a rule - but over at CNN.com they've taken to putting story highlights at the head of all their stories, it seems.

Here's one, for example, with four - four! - story highlights. It's a story about a 10th Mountain Division brigade's having its tour of duty in Afghanistan extended. Four story highlights, two of which are NEW!

Here's one of the old ones:

• There is widespread concern that the military is being spread too thin

If that's not a highlight, I don't know what is. Also, if that's not old....

I feel faint.

I mean, first it's Bob Novak (see below) and now Faux News "host" John Gibson, who detects a scowl on Hillary Clinton's face. A scowl! "It did appear she was scowling," Gibson says.

Do they still make smelling salts?

Do not nuke your sponge.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- Reports about a study that found microwave ovens can be used to sterilize kitchen sponges sent people hurrying to test the idea this week -- with sometimes disastrous results.

A team at the University of Florida found that two minutes in the microwave at full power could kill a range of bacteria, viruses and parasites on kitchen sponges.

They described how they soaked the sponges in wastewater and then zapped them. (Microwave zaps germs on sponges.)

But several experimenters evidently left out the crucial step of wetting the sponge.

"Just wanted you to know that your article on microwaving sponges and scrubbers aroused my interest. However, when I put my sponge/scrubber into the microwave, it caught fire, smoked up the house, ruined my microwave, and pissed me off," one correspondent wrote in an e-mail to Reuters.

When these guys finally blow their circuits they really make a fine shower of sparks, don't they?

The nerve! sniffs grouchy old Bob Novak, the very nerve of that Jim Webb, thinks he's a professional writer or something, doesn't stick to the talking points and calls the DOOFUS reckless! Oh dear, oh dear. How rude!

In his latest column, Novak just can't get over the D's failure to go all gaga over the DOOFUS' "bipartisan special advisory council" idea. Could be "the most overt snub of a presidential overture" since George McClellan blew off Lincoln, Novak swoons.

Never mind we already have a bipartisan advisory council. It's called Congress. Remember them, Bob? And never mind what happened to the last "special advisory council" - some guy named Baker, wasn't it? Whatever.

To be fair, it's not just the junior senator from Virginia who's giving Novak fainting spells, it's the whole "cantankerous" bunch of them, those D's, who are just being soooooo unreasonable, not wanting to hear the DOOFUS' "pleas for consultation" and give him a big smoochy hug. Like that nice Joe Lieberman guy.

Heh.

I'm just mentioning here, Al...

...if you decide to run again, better make sure you've got enough votes lined up so you won't need mine. Oh, for a long time there I would have voted for you. Again. But that was before that Lieberman guy slithered out from under his rock. Now, man, I gotta tellya, anybody whose judgment is so poor he'd pick Lieberman as a running mate is not the guy I want to see in the White House. Call it a day and go away.

Jan. 11, 2007 - Sen. Joe Lieberman, the only Democrat to endorse President Bush’s new plan for Iraq, has quietly backed away from his pre-election demands that the White House turn over potentially embarrassing documents relating to its handling of the Hurricane Katrina disaster in New Orleans....

(yada yada yada)

Think of all the fun you can have with your very own Diebold election key!

Princeton University Computer Scientists Confirm 'Secret' Key For Every Diebold Voting Machine 'Revealed' on Company Website!

(Brad Blog)

Yes, Bunky! This means you! Turns out all you have to do is surf on over to Diebold's web site, find the photo of the key in their "online store," and, well, make a copy. Duh.

(Insert your own store joke here.)

No purchase required.

"Bush whiffs on Iraq. Again."

...says Fred Kaplan at Slate.

"I ask you to give it a chance to work," the president (uncharacteristically) pleaded tonight. In service of this support, he proposed to set up a "special advisory council on the war on terrorism, made up of leaders in Congress from both political parties," to "share ideas for how to position America" to meet today's challenges and to "show our enemies abroad that we are united in the goal of security."

The thing is, there already are advisory councils. They're called the congressional committees on foreign relations, armed services, and intelligence. President Bush had his chance with the ideas of a bipartisan council, the Iraq Study Group headed by James Baker and Lee Hamilton. He dismissed them out of hand. Now he has to deal with the normal constitutional arrangements. That's democracy.

What is most head-shaking of all is that, after four years of this war, the president once more fell short of making its case. As in the past, he said that it's very important—"a decisive ideological struggle," he called it, adding, "nothing is more important at this moment in our history than for America to succeed." And yet he also said that America's commitment to the war is "not open-ended." How can both claims be true? If nothing is more important, it must be open-ended. If it's not open-ended, it can't be all that important.

"Climate change" gets on the board.

According to an excellent database of the DOOFUS' SOTUs appearing on the New York Times web site this morning the phrase "climate change" appeared for the first time ever last night, with one mention, while the word "oil" surged (ooops, sorry...rose) to a new high of 9 and the word(s) Iraq/Iraqi(s) maxed out at 34.

For more riotous SOTU fun (or at least a whole lot more fun than actually listening to the things) consult the Times' SOTU word database here.

Pie said America's most popular chart.

From the Onion's research department.

Oh oh. Laura can't get a date.

D.C. Mayor Adrian M. Fenty has declined a White House invitation to sit with first lady Laura Bush at tonight's State of the Union address, deciding to attend the event as a guest of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi....

" 'Pelosi asked us first,' " Fenty said, according to [spokesbimbo Carrie] Brooks.

(Washington Post)

Couldn't just settle for "top gun," I guess.

TOM Cruise is the new “Christ” of Scientology, according to leaders of the cult-like religion.

The Mission: Impossible star has been told he has been “chosen” to spread the word of his faith throughout the world.

And leader David Miscavige believes that in future, Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.

(The Sun)

Yikes!

Oh no, Snowjob. No no no.

Here's Tony Snowjob, bunker spokesbimbo, speaking about the DOOFUS' domestic policies (yeah right, like he has domestic policies):

“George W. Bush as a president,” [Snowjob] said, “is not somebody who is going to cease to be bold because there has been — because right now people are concerned about the progress of the war. Instead he understands his obligation as commander in chief is to go ahead and address forthrightly big problems and come up with solutions that not only are going to have political appeal, but they’re also going to be effective in making life better for Americans.”

(NYTimes)

Listen up, Snowjob. DOOFUS is "commander in chief" of the military and not one damn thing else. We don't have a "commander in chief" of anything else. We have a president. And you're a moron if you don't know that.

Oh this is a real gem, isn't it?

From a Faux News transcript wherein little Chris Wallace, "interviewing" Sens. Biden and Levin, runs a video clip of Trickshot Dick...

WALLACE: Last week, Vice President Cheney was here on "FOX News Sunday," and he said a resolution like the one that the two of you are introducing sends exactly the wrong message. Let's watch.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY: We simply go back and revalidate the strategy that Usama bin Laden has been following from day one: that if you kill enough Americans, you can force them to quit, that we don't have the stomach for the fight.

OK, show of hands here. Who remembers, speaking of "stomach," when Trickshot ("Undisclosed Location") Dick volunteered to get in on any of that killed Americans stuff himself?

How about Steve Jobs for president?

I mean, if he can get so many people yapping about the iPhone when there won't even be one for five months, imagine what he could do in politics.

The arrival of my year-end issue of Newsweek in December was accompanied by a palpable sense of dread. Featuring Sens. Barack Obama (D-IL) and Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) on the cover with the headline, "The Race is On," the issue landed with a thud, like an unwanted fruitcake amidst the holiday season. How else to respond to a 2008 campaign preview package published 98 weeks before Election Day and nearly 400 days before a single registered Democrat would vote in a primary? That, plus the fact the 2008 drumbeat was sounding just six weeks after the all-consuming midterm elections had been completed.

(Eric Boehlert, Media Matters)

I bet if Jobs announced today he could be running for his second term by March.

Look, I understand it with the Rs - they've been campaigning against Clinton for 15 years already so I wouldn't expect them to change (in fact I don't expect them to change about anything, ever) - but at least the rest of us could grow up. Couldn't we?

Oh.

YouTubing through eternity.

Oh I can't wait to see the EULA on this. (You know what a EULA is, right? It's that big long legal document you have to agree to when you install software. What? You don't read it? Tsk, tsk.)

The Seattle PI this morning reports on a Microsoft project called "immortal computing" - "definitely a long-term project," says a Microsoft researcher named Andy Wilson...

One scenario the researchers envision: People could store messages to descendants, information about their lives or interactive holograms of themselves for access by visitors at their tombstones or urns....

"Hi, guys"...

And here's where the notion of immortality really kicks in: The researchers say the artifacts could be symbolic representations of people, reflecting elements of their personalities. The systems might be set up to take action -- e-mailing birthday greetings to people identified as grandchildren, for example.

Won't that be dandy? Spam from your great, great grandparents?

(Of course MoveOn will like this idea. Every try to get those guys to stop?)

OK, seriously I'm talking here, the problem of archiving data for the long term is real. The odds are just about nil that what you're saving on your hard disk today will last as long as something some monk lettered on parchment in the Middle Ages. (The odds on its being worth keeping that long are pretty low too, but that's beside the point.) If you put a floppy disk in your time capsule you're pretty much out of luck.

But still, sending email to your great, great grandkids is not a good idea. Believe me, it'll be a whole lot better if, when you die, you shut up.

Although now that I think of it I have to admit that walking through a graveyard some day in the future and seeing all those tombstones stuck on the Blue Screen of Death would be pretty cool.

This might be it!

I was reading something Joe Lieberman said the other day on the Imus TV show when I ran across this tidbit from the Connecticut State Library: A nickname for the State of Connecticut cited in A Dictionary of Americanisms on Historical Principles, edited by Mitford M. Mathews (University of Chicago Press, 1951) is...

The Land of Steady Habits.

So maybe that would explain this from Crooks and Liars: When discussing his plan for Iraq ("hope and pray") Lieberman says to Imus...

The other alternatives–the main alternative that the opponents of what the President has done are offering is to simply begin to withdraw....I mean some people want to withdraw because they just want to get out.

Can you dig it? Some people want to withdraw because they want to get out.

Yeah, that must be some steady habit, alright.

Wait! That's not real?

"Naked teens attack home director," it turns out, is not a real news story: It's the subject of an email just pretending to be news but spreading the "Storm Trojan" instead.

Drivers fix hair, put on makeup, shave...while driving.

Drivers in the survey also admitted to changing seats with passengers, watching a movie, painting their toenails, nursing a baby and putting in contact lenses while driving.

Toenails? Oh yeah. And then of course the usual stuff - talk on phone, eat, txt, check email. Like that.

Me? I'm taking the bus.

Is this a great country or what.

A US underwear manufacturer has invented pants designed to hide the smell of farts.

And wait! That's not all!

The pants are machine washable and the filters last several weeks to several months, depending on the frequency of use and laundering.

(More...you want more?...from Ananova)

Forget the terrorists - nuke the bugs.

Wired reports today on super, antibiotic-resistant bacteria infecting GIs wounded in Iraq.

Since OPERATION Iraqi Freedom began in 2003, more than 700 US soldiers have been infected or colonized with Acinetobacter baumannii. A significant number of additional cases have been found in the Canadian and British armed forces, and among wounded Iraqi civilians. The Armed Forces Institute of Pathology has recorded seven deaths caused by the bacteria in US hospitals along the evacuation chain. Four were unlucky civilians who picked up the bug at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, DC, while undergoing treatment for other life-threatening conditions. Another was a 63-year-old woman, also chronically ill, who shared a ward at Landstuhl with infected coalition troops.

Spread along "evacuation chain. But here's the real thriller:

Acinetobacter is only one of many bacterial nemeses prowling around in ICUs and neonatal units in hospitals all over the world. A particularly fierce organism known as MRSA - methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus - infects healthy people, spreads easily, and accounts for many of the 90,000 fatal infections picked up in US hospitals each year. Another drug-resistant germ on the rise in health care facilities, Clostridium difficile, moves in for the kill when long courses of antibiotics have wiped out normal intestinal flora.

Whoa! "90,000 fatal infections picked up in US hospitals." That number again? 90,000.

So why aren't we reading headlines about that every day?

The unkindest cut.

BETHLEHEM, Pa. (AP) -- An elderly man who wrote in a letter to the editor about Saddam Hussein's execution that "they hanged the wrong man" got a visit from Secret Service agents concerned he was threatening President Bush.

The letter by Dan Tilli, 81, was published in Monday's edition of The Express-Times of Easton, Pa. It ended with the line, "I still believe they hanged the wrong man."...

The agents almost immediately decided Tilli was not a threat, [Special Agent Bob] Slama said

"We have no further interest in Dan," he said.

Bummer.

Some days, things just sort of blur.

So maybe this is one of those days. But here I am reading something in the New York Times...

WASHINGTON, Jan. 21 — There is widespread anticipation, inside government and outside, that President Bush will call for better fuel economy in his State of the Union address on Tuesday.

...and thinking wait, haven't we been here before? Wasn't it hydrogen one year? And then, I don't know, corn or something? Ethanol? And something about, hey, if we just drill up Alaska...

The White House has posed questions to the Transportation Department about various options. One idea under consideration, government officials and car company executives who have consulted with the White House say, is to do away with the existing system of fleet averages, as has already happened with light trucks, and set a standard for each vehicle, based on its “footprint,” or distance between the wheels.

Right. That's another thing. Never the easy way, always something really weird. You'd almost think he was just making this stuff up. But he probably isn't. He probably has somebody to make it up for him.

The DOOFUS' war.

He never seriously considered beginning to withdraw U.S. forces, as urged by newly elected Democratic congressional leaders and the bipartisan Iraq Study Group. And he had grown skeptical of his own military commanders, who were telling him no more troops were needed.

So Bush relied on his own judgment that the best answer was to try once again to snuff out the sectarian violence in Baghdad, even at the risk of putting U.S. soldiers into a crossfire between Sunni insurgents and Shiite militias. When his generals resisted sending more troops, he seemed irritated. When they finally agreed to go along with the plan, he doubled the number of troops they requested.

(Washington Post)

Meanwhile William Kristol, bonehead, opines...

It’s so irresponsible that they can’t be quiet for six or nine months and say the president has made a decision, we’re not going to change that decision, we’re not going to cut off funds and insist on the troops coming back, so let’s give it a chance to work.

And that Lieberman guy suggests "hoping and praying."

(Crooks and Liars)

But you wouldn't believe the hangover.

An American man has survived after falling 17 floors from the window of a hotel in the US city of Minneapolis....

Mr Hanson crashed through the floor-to-ceiling window at the end of a corridor after returning to the Hyatt Regency after a night of drinking.

(BBC)

Dead son sperm. What?

The lawyer of an Israeli couple who won the right to use their dead son's sperm to inseminate a woman he never met says...

surprise!

"Mother wins dead son sperm case," headlines BBC.

Whoa! Almost forgot!

It's National Sanctity of Human Life Day!

Ooops, wrong link. Sorry.

Iraq gets the Surge™, everyone else gets the Squirm™.

In London some assistant US diplodoodle name of David Welch tries to wrap his talented tongue around the premise those Iraqis are our bitchez now and Iran has no business trying to meddle in al-Maliki's sovereign affairs, reports Asharq Alawsat, while meanwhile here at home, according to the NYTimes...

Some senior officials, insisting on anonymity, are discussing alternative leadership for the Iraqi government, including throwing American support behind another Shiite leader, Adel Abdul Mahdi.

Hunkered in the bunker, the DOODFUS and his doofuscenti spread around the memes that, 1) any criticism of their excellent adventures is "partisan" (you bet your sweet ass it is) and, 2) now that they've saved the Iraqis from that evil Saddam and his B's, it's the Iraqi's turn to save them from that evil Nancy and her D's.

...administration officials, who have carefully avoided declaring outright that the American commitment in Iraq would be cut back if Mr. Maliki fails, are using the open hostility of most Democrats and the skepticism of many Republicans as a way to underscore to the prime minister that the White House plan represents a last chance for him.

Meanwhile the "poisonous" Pelosi, having ruled out cutting off their allowance or taking away the car keys, may now threaten to cut their Faux-viewing time on school nights. Some former State Department guy named Philip D. Zelikow explains "the baseline strategy is that we'll invest in good performance, not in things we consider foolish and destructive," by which he apparently means investing in Iraq, not Haliburton; Defense Secretary Robert ("No Expert on Military Matters") Gates mutters something about "off-ramps"; and whatzername, Rice, decrees "it is the Iraqis who are responsible for what kind of country Iraq will be," raising the question, what are we doing there in the first place, Bunky?

NASA computer scientists probe frontiers of dumb.

Among recent breakthroughs:

• A program known as IDMBH (an acronym for "I did my best, honest," the computer's most frequently heard lament). Not only has IDMBH thus far failed to solve a single problem or even retrieve one piece of data, it has also generated an impressive variety of inane excuses, ranging from I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WANTED IT TODAY to THE DOG ERASED IT.

[Computer scientest Arthur] Boran is the head of NASA, the National Artificial Stupidity Association ("Not to be confused with those space people," he is quick to point out), a loosely-knit band of computer-school dropouts currently occupying an abandoned fraternity house at the University of New Mexico.

"There's been a lot of attention given to developments in artificial intelligence," Boran explains, "but relatively little emphasis on stupidity. Dumbness is, in many ways, a far more difficult quality to synthesize than intelligence. Human beings has a remarkable capacity for fallacious reasoning, illogical conclusions, and plain ignorance -- traits that are unique to them and alien to conventionally programmed computers. My goal is to generate a program that can accurately simulate the full variety of human stupidities."

Read much more at NASA web site.

(And thanks to Spiiderweb™ for finding this.)