This just doesn’t seem fair

Man jumps out of eight-story window to avoid parole officer | New York Post

http://nyp.st/2uW0L17

Sure I believe this! Of course I do!

Alarm Clock Retrieved After Being Stuck In Wall For 13 Years « CBS Pittsburgh

"It all began when Jerry Lynn lowered a TV wire down to the living room. In order to know the location of the wire in the wall, he attached an alarm clock to it."

Meanwhile, in other culinary news…

Joey Chestnut wins 10th title, gobbles a record 72 hot dogs | Sports | azdailysun.com

"Chestnut has dominated the chowdown throwdown for years, eating 70 franks and buns last year to top his then-record and take back the title from Matt "The Megatoad" Stonie. The 25-year-old Stonie came in third on Tuesday, with 48 franks and buns."

We're declaring this Spam Week since we missed Spam Day, which was yesterday

Luckily Sam Guy in Seattle noticed this or we might have had to wait another decade to celebrate anything at all.

At 80 Years Old, Spam Has Spawned a Culinary Legacy - NBC News

“In Hawaii, Spam — it’s literally all around you,” Ravi Kapur, chef at the James Beard Award-nominated restaurant Liholiho Yacht Club in San Francisco, told NBC News. “When Spam was on sale, there’d be a limit — limit 10 per person. "

Which reminds me, I’m down to one. Better put it on the list.

That holiday weekend was too long

But it's over now and I can finally get back to not working.

So it worked then

Man tries to kill wasps but sets off fireworks and destroys garage instead - CNN.com

Luckily, no one was injured. Except, we assume, the wasps.

http://cnn.it/2tL0kcG

No parade was rained on here today

We are in the midst of a serious parade shortage where I live, but there was no rain anyway.

It was the Memorial Day parade that got rained out this year. We had a Pride parade a couple of weeks ago but apparently the organizers never applied for a permit to walk in the street so the parade was really was really just a little more traffic than usual on the sidewalk. And it had no band. What is the point of a parade with out a band? It doesn't have to be a good band, it just has to have a little tune and some drums.

The Independence Day parade isn't anymore. I don't know exactly why, but probably it has to do with a lack of bands as well, people being on vacation and all. We do still have fireworks, and also hot dogs and potato salad, so all is not lost. But still, no parade.

Which leaves us with the County Fair parade in the autumn. It's the same parade every year, but every year there are different slogans on the floats. It's always kind of fun, but never surprising. 

Kind of like living here, now that you mention it.

Who knew this?

I didn't, for one. Saw this sign in the AP newsfeed and noticed the word Juliet was spelled with two t's. As in, well, Juliett. How can that be right?

I checked with Romeo. Yup, only one t. Juliet.

But it turns out that in the official NATO phonetic alphabet the word Juliett, which stands for the letter J, is spelled with two t's. Juliett. You can see for yourself: http://bit.ly/2uCZfAF

So now I know. Wherefore art thou?