If you thought Dunkin Donuts lip balm was exciting…

Kentucky Fried Chicken is selling edible nail polish - Business Insider


Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear…

Donald Trump Seeks Republican Unity but Finds Rejection - The New York Times

…the first question of the first Republican debate in the ongoing horror show that this election season has come to be—will you pledge to support the eventual nominee—and everybody raised their hand except Donald J. Trump  (horrors!). Trump eventually came around. 

It was an attempt to get the Donald to promise on the record he wouldn’t run as a third-party candidate if he didn’t win the Big Nod. But now, of course, he is official nodee, and all those other guys who pledged, they really did, oh yeah, in front of our very eyes they would now won’t. 

And if that doesn’t tell you what the word of a politician—especially these politicians—is worth you really ought to find another hobby. I hear cricket farming is good.

The Bard at M.I.T.

The confluence of the recent popularity of Shakespeare’s play, Henry V,  (around here at least) and the recent 400th anniversary of his death leads us to this web site from M.I.T., where we can read it all.

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare


Secret Russian mega-weapon exposed!

Russia’s ‘Obama’ ice cream deepens chilly relations with US | New York Post

"A U.S. official, who declined to be named because of the subject’s sensitivity, told Reuters he saw the ice cream as part of a disturbing pattern."


Clinton Must Release Her Wall Street Transcripts Now That the Prerequisite She Set Has Been Met


Imagine our relief

Dick Cheney Says He's Supporting Trump As GOP Nominee

Take that, you Bushes.

From a possibly legal source…

…and in honor of the 142nd running, today, here’s Hunter S. Thompson’s The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved.


No Bern for her

Report: Clinton Team Seeks to Court Bush Donors | Democracy Now!


And also the Kentucky Derby is tomorrow

Kentucky Derby Horse Name Generator

"We wouldn't be surprised if some of these are actual horse names, or will be horse names in the future."


OK wait. What?

Baby gender reveals involving guns, explosives, and colored chalk.

"In my opinion, the only missing from these celebrations is a mylar balloon that says, 'Congratulations: You're having an AMERICAN!'"

The Bard, it appears, is trending

From an email about computer security…

"If you haven't been tangled up in a data breach yet, chances are you will soon. But there's hope. Turn on two-factor authentication for your e-mail and bank accounts. Spend the weekend updating your software. Take our security quiz. Let's "stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood" (yes, I'm reaching to make the "Henry V" connection), and we'll all have a fighting chance."

(Emphasis mine.)

This is the second time in as many days good old Henry V’s name has come floating across the network. Not bad for an old guy.

Boaty McBoatface takes a dive (or will)

Democracy is dead | New York Post

"A new 200 million-pound ($290 million) polar research ship is to be named after veteran BBC naturalist Sir David Attenborough, but the British government promised on Friday that “Boaty McBoatface,” the name which topped a public poll, would not be ignored."

The vessel’s remotely operated undersea vehicle will be named Boaty McBoatface.

In what universe is this a good thing?

Exclusive: Top reason Americans will vote for Trump: 'To stop Clinton' - poll | Reuters

"About 47 percent of Trump supporters said they backed him primarily because they don't want Clinton to win. Another 43 percent said their primary motivation was a liking for Trump's political positions, while 6 percent said they liked him personally.

"Similar responses prevailed among Clinton supporters.

"About 46 percent said they would vote for her mostly because they don’t want to see a Trump presidency, while 40 percent said they agreed with her political positions, and 11 percent said they liked her personally."

Emphasis mine.

'Tis the season

North Korea prepares Kim’s ‘coronation’ at once-in-generation congress | World news | The Guardian


Thanks for noticing

Republicans, Apologize to Bill Clinton | The Resurgent

"Now the Republicans themselves have lost their sense of shame."

Better late than never, I suppose.


Pierce does classical

Now are we well resolved, and by God's help / And yours, the noble sinews of our power / France being ours, we'll bend it to our awe / Or break it all to pieces.—Henry V, Act I, Scene II

I guess we'll just start negative and go from there

'Donald Trump Screwed Me' campaign hits Trump properties - NY Daily News


It's all about those big bankers after all

‘Hamilton’ success is going to cost you | New York Post

"The cheapest seat for this Friday’s show — in the next-to-last row — was going for $856.44 Tuesday afternoon on Ticketmaster’s secondary site."

Never bet on anything that can talk*

Here’s what bookies think of a Trump-Clinton showdown | New York Post

*Attributed to Nick the Greek.

Maybe it's not still blue

Is it? The sky? No way of telling from here. The good news is we are promised warmer rain next week. No news about the sky.


Some of our best friends are

Women Dominate the Beard Awards - The New York Times


I've lost count but…

Anti-Trump Republicans confront a dilemma: Are they ready to help elect Clinton? - The Washington Post

"'You have to bet on sanity,' said GOP strategist Stuart Stevens, who helped lead the campaign of 2012 nominee Mitt Romney."

…is this the world’s first triple irony? Maybe!

Millennials, always millennials

I hate the office;
It cuts in on my social life.

–Dorothy Parker, May, 1919


"Trump's emergence as the all-but-anointed Republican nominee may change this dynamic. Giving him a monthlong head start to rally skeptical Republicans behind his campaign, while Mrs. Clinton continues to grapple with Mr. Sanders's challenge on the left, could become an intolerable prospect for Democrats eager for a free hand to engage Mr. Trump."

Says the Times.  Meaning, how long before Clinton can change her tune…again…quit pretending she's a progressive and get back to the center-rightish same-old where she thinks she can beat Trump. 

It was not a good day to be hanging around Ted Cruz

SEE IT: Ted Cruz mistakenly smacks wife in face - NY Daily News

Carly Fiorina falls off stage at Indiana event (VIDEO).

Ted Cruz overplayed his hand with the GOP — and now he’s done | New York Post

I refuse to be driven out, thank you very much

As Trump Rises, House Republicans Lose That Sense of Security - The New York Times

"To have a chance at recapturing the House, Mr. Wasserman said, 'Democrats need Bernie to voice strong support for Clinton, and to campaign for her actively in the fall to drive out his voters.'"

Elsewhere in this morning’s Times, in another story about the Indiana primary, we find this curious sentence…

“…In the Democratic contest, Senator Bernie Sanders rebounded from a string of defeats to prevail in Indiana over Hillary Clinton, who largely abandoned the state after polls showed her faring poorly with the predominantly white electorate."

Spin much? Nate Silver’s web site gave Clinton a 95% probability of winning, and Real Clear Politics’ amalgam poll had Hillary winning by about five percent, about the same margin Sanders won by in the real world. Predominantly white or not. 


Clearly this Cruz person has not discovered Instagram

Ted Cruz Unburdens Himself: 'What I Really Think of Donald Trump' - First Draft. Political News, Now. - The New York Times

"Mr. Trump is…a 'narcissist at a level I don’t think this country has ever seen.'"

Pop quiz: Who said this, and what was she…oops, did I give it away?

Clinton: 'I'm really focused on moving into the general election' | MSNBC

“We’re going to have a tough campaign against a candidate who will literally say or do anything"

Kettle, meet pot.

What's this green stuff in my food?

Homeless Italians go hungry before eating vegan donations | New York Post


So let's elect him then

Captain America dodges political entanglements - NY Daily News

"As the star-spangled hero's latest adventure, "Captain America: Civil War," hits theaters late Thursday, Marvel Studios has managed to make him appeal to fans across the political spectrum."

But didn't mean it

Clinton apologizes for saying she’d end coal industry - NY Daily News



Ted Cruz’s dad involved with JFK assassination: Trump - NY Daily News

"I mean, what was he doing?"

Now it’s getting good, right? I can’t wait to hear what the Clintons have been up to.



Progress is where you (not) find it

New Call of Duty is the (not) first game ever to involve shooting dudes in space | Ars Technica


So you were wondering about this David Brock guy, right?

The (sorta) nice thing about the internet is when you get tired of being stupid you can always go look something up. For example, David Brock:

The Nation has described Brock as a “conservative journalistic assassin turned progressive empire-builder”; National Review has called him a “right-wing assassin turned left-wing assassin”; and Politico has profiled him as a “former right-wing journalist-turned-pro-Clinton crusader.”

See how easy? Also it’s free. But it might make you more boring at parties, depending on how boring you already are.

Who says he's weak in international relations?

Miss Sweden is a big Donald Trump fan | New York Post


Brain freeze

Woman Files $5 Million Lawsuit Against Starbucks For Putting Too Much Ice In Her Drinks


Is this the most uninformative paragraph ever written?

Sanders Fights On for ‘the Strongest Progressive Agenda That Any Political Party Has Ever Seen’ | The Nation

“[It] was a movement, and a movement politics, that forced the Democratic Party to embrace a more muscular civil-rights platform than Harry Truman wanted in 1948; it was a movement, and movement politics, that began to open up the Democratic Party in ways that Lyndon Johnson had resisted in 1964. And it was the dismissal of movements, and movement politics, that proved to be disastrous for the Democratic Party in 1968."



The perils of living in DC

This new Indiana poll is very bad news for the ‘Stop Trump’ movement - The Washington Post

"So Trump may very well not sweep — or, as in nearby Iowa, he could be surprised. "

Indiana may be nearby Iowa if by “nearby” you mean “they’re both over there somewhere.” But there happens to be a state, the 24th largest state in the country, Illinois, between them. Illinois is bigger than Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, and New Jersey combined. 

Some of these guys should get out of town a little more.

It's sort of ironic, isn't it…

How Hillary Could Win the Election—and Lose the Country - POLITICO Magazine

"Clinton lacks a big, new animating idea in a year when voters in both parties are so discontented they have embraced some pretty bad ones. Like them or loathe them, Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders’s messages are crystal clear and call for dramatic change, while Clinton’s remains spread softly all over the map. And her agenda promises less change than continuation…"

…that in an election cycle powered on both sides of the aisle by dissatisfaction with the status quo, we could wind up with the most status quo candidate of the field elected to the white house. Ironic and depressing.

Still, might as well enjoy this while it lasts. The Times’ Maureen Dowd notes:

"In one of the most gratifying moments of an unhinged campaign, former Speaker John Boehner told Stanford students that Cruz was “Lucifer in the flesh.” Satanists immediately objected, saying it was unfair to their deity."