Imagine our relief

Satanic Temple explains why Ted Cruz isn’t Lucifer.


News from the Garden State

Charge against brawling New Jersey mall Easter bunny downgraded - NY Daily News

"Footage showed shoppers jumping in to break up the scuffle as the furious dad and enraged rabbit exchanged punches. Charles’ bunny head was knocked off amid the chaos."

"We look forward to the bunny being vindicated," Charles’ attorney James Lisa told NJ.com.

OK, I call BS on this

Scientists find a gene that makes you look older than you really are - The Washington Post

"People who carried a specific gene looked two years older, on average, than those who did not carry this gene"

Can you tell a person’s age within two years just by looking? Me, I’d be abnormally lucky to come within ten.

When they hand out goofy studies awards this one should be a real contender.


She's baaaack

Carly Fiorina Pulls Out All the Stops, and Lyrics, in Joining Ted Cruz - First Draft. Political News, Now. - The New York Times


Sit back down and behave, Jeb

Jeb Bush on failed run: 'I'm not going to change' - CNNPolitics.com

"Bush had harsh words for the press, who he labeled an ‘accomplice' of Trump and blamed for a ‘despicable,' ratings-driven approach to news. And he did not rule out a future run of his own, "

Whew! Close call! House reverses requirement that investment advisors be honest

The House Just Voted To Give Wall Street Billions From Americans' Retirement Savings

"The House voted 234 to 188 Thursday to undo a rule proposed by the Labor Department earlier this month that would require anyone getting paid to provide retirement investment advice to act in the best interest of retirees. Many people think that’s already how things work, but it isn’t."

And by a pretty good margin, too. 

(The boldfacing was done by me.)


One Knight in Indiana

Bobby Knight on Trump: 'That son of a bitch could play for me' - POLITICO

"You know, quite frankly, I don't give a damn about the Republicans," Knight said. "And then on the other hand, I don't give a damn about the Democrats, either.…

"This man, this man, he's not a Republican, he's not a Democrat. At heart, he's just a great American," Knight said.


Ahh, the 50's

In this August 26, 1955, photo by Toledo Blade photographer Don Flory, a chain of women and girls are showing the audience how to do the “Bunny Hop.” 

Toledo Blade

Lousy weather and lousy drivers pay off for the Bay State

Self-driving steered to Devens | Boston Herald

"'It could be an ideal test bed, maybe a worst-case scenario (test). If your vehicle can drive in Massachusetts,' it can drive anywhere, said Ryan Harrington, chief of the Technology Policy and Innovation Division at the Volpe National Transportation Systems Center."


This city embedded traffic lights in the sidewalks so that smartphone users don’t have to look up - The Washington Post

"Few nations in the world take red traffic lights more seriously than Germany."

In spite of everything…

…it's starting to look like Spring.

There really is a lot of dissonance here, Isn't there?

Obama to visit Flint ‘to call for change’ in water crisis - NY Daily News

"Obama said he plans to 'use my voice to call for change' in Flint."

Here we have Trump and Cruz and Bernie and the Clinton du jour talking—nay, announcing—doing this and doing that and ripping—ripping!—things up on Day One and…Obama—Obama, who actually is the president, “calling for change.” In Flint. 

What’s with that? (And whatever it is, why isn’t Mexico paying?)

But always update

Meteorologist gets interrupted on air with Windows 10 update - NY Daily News

"Windows updates have a reputation for always popping up at the worst times possible. Some people get them during presentations, others get them while editing photos or video and some get them while watching movies. Whichever scenario you're in, it's annoying."

Go ahead, John, tell us what you really think

John Boehner on Ted Cruz: ‘Lucifer in the flesh’ - NY Daily News

"“I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a b---h in my life.”"

Not in a million years…

House committee votes to make women register for the draft | New York Post

"'A draft is there to put bodies on the front lines to take the hill,' Hunter said. 'The draft is there to get more people to rip the enemies’ throats out and kill them.'"

…am I going to have an opinion about this, oh no no. With the ripping throats out stuff? No way. 

(But for the record I’m pretty sure the military isn’t interested in drafting anybody any time soon. Would a draft be good for the country? Ahhh…)

And you thought nukes were your problem, Bunky

Inside North Korea’s secret sex parties | New York Post


Or, in other words, a vote for Clinton is a vote for more of the same

Clinton is the insider who’s surviving in the year of the outsider - The Washington Post

"The successes of Trump and Clinton underscore important nuances in the sentiments coursing through the two parties. While voters in both share a frustration with the state of the nation’s economy and politics, Republicans blame their own leaders as much as anybody else and are, therefore, more eager for a radical fix, whereas Democrats still believe their elected leaders can bring change from within."


Only believe


Just wondering

Clinton prepares for tough fight in Indiana, pivots to trade - The Washington Post

"She promised to make the ‘survival' of the steel industry one of her ‘top' priorities."

Is anybody keeping track of her top priorities?

Or, if all her priorities are top priorities, are they really priorities any more?

And, is there any way we can outlaw the word, “pivot”? Pivoting has become the new girding. Seems like only yesterday everybody was girding. Now everybody’s pivoting. It’s making me crazy. Also dizzy.


Added to our book list, something a little different this time—the second season of a podcast called Serial which delves into the story of Bowe Bergdahl, a U.S. soldier who walked off his base in Afghanistan, was captured and held captive for five years by the Taliban, was eventually repatriated in exchange for five Gitmo detainees, and now, at an Army base in Texas, awaits a court martial. The season is entitled DUSTWUN, a military acronym for Duty Status–whereabouts unknown. 

The series, recommended by Pacific Rim Bureau Chief Lynn C Dot, is one of the finest pieces of journalism you’ll ever encounter. The reporting is thorough, impeccably unbiased, compelling. And free. Check it out.


Learning something old every day

It ain't over till the fat lady sings - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I got curious about the origin of that phrase this morning and so I looked it up. turns out, it’s not nearly as old as I would have guessed: Wikipedia puts its first use at 1976. (OK, that might seem a long time ago to some people but to me it’s the day before yesterday.)

And the first guy who said it was not Yogi Berra. Berra said, “It ain’t over till it’s over."

No joy in Beantown

Borges: Tom Brady learned the hard way, players a working class | Boston Herald

"As former Dallas Cowboys president Tex Schramm once indelicately put it to Upshaw during a heated labor negotiation, 'You guys are cattle, and we’re the ranchers … and ranchers can always get more cattle.'"

Unclear on the concept

TSA finds record number of firearms in passengers' luggage - NY Daily News

"In 2015 the TSA confiscated 2,653 firearms — nearly a 20% increase over 2014 — and said that passengers at Dallas Ft. Worth, Hartsfield-Jackson in Atlanta and George Bush International in Houston were the most frequent offenders."

So it looks like The Donald is right again (what's going on here?)

'Queen of Disco' Is Invoked to Rally Hillary Clinton Supporters - First Draft. Political News, Now. - The New York Times

"Mr. Carper told the crowd that they were going to channel Ms. Summer. He brought up her 1983 song, 'She Works Hard for the Money,' reciting a close approximation of the lyrics: 'She works hard for the money, so hard for the money, she works hard for the money, so we better treat her right.'"

Those $250,000 speeches must have been really something.

One-day wonder

Ted Cruz-John Kasich Alliance Against Donald Trump Quickly Weakens - The New York Times

"Mr. Cruz trumpeted what he called the “big news” … “John Kasich has decided to pull out of Indiana to give us a head-to-head contest with Donald Trump”.

But at his own campaign stop in Philadelphia on Monday, Mr. Kasich tamped down Mr. Cruz’s triumphalism. Voters in Indiana, Mr. Kasich said, “ought to vote for me,” even if he would not be campaigning publicly there..”"

Maybe The Donald ought to start calling Cruze “Backstabbin’ Ted.” This is beginning to look suspiciously like what Cruz did to Carson in Iowa. (Cruz’s campaign started a rumor Carson had dropped out.)

And, once again, this:

"The point of announcing the deal, said Charles R. Black Jr., an adviser to Mr. Kasich, was to indicate to outside 'super PACs' where the campaigns and candidates were marshaling their resources."

It’s beginning to look like “rigged” really is the right word.


"Clinton runs both left and right" sounds like the start of a new dance craze

Hillary Clinton -- Gun Control in New York, Pro–Second Amendment Elsewhere

"Clinton is being hypocritical. She made Sanders’s exact argument in April 2008, when she was running against Obama in Pennsylvania: 'What might work in New York City is certainly not going to work in Montana,' she said. 'So for the federal government to be having any kind of, you know, blanket rules that they’re going to try to impose, I think doesn’t make sense.'"

And seals too, of course

So, the Russians have combat dolphins | New York Post


When you finally figure out you're not everyone


I meet a guy on the street

"What's the best way to catch a squirrel?" he says.

"Beats me," I say.

He says, "Climb up a tree and act like a nut."

Hillary says let's make a deal

Charles Koch Says He Could Possibly Support Hillary Clinton - First Draft. Political News, Now. - The New York Times

""Charles G. Koch, the billionaire industrialist, suggested in an interview Sunday that he was open to supporting Hillary Clinton for president…

"In a message on Twitter Sunday afternoon, Mrs. Clinton said she was 'not interested in endorsements from people who deny climate science and try to make it harder for people to vote.’"

Imagine our surprise.

Republican twofer

Have they got a deal for you.

Ted Cruz and John Kasich to Coordinate Against Donald Trump - The New York Times

Plus TODAY’S SPECIAL: R’s put an end to the foolworthy fiction that candidates don’t ever (oh no!) coordinate with their PACs…

Both campaigns said they expected allies and third-party groups to follow their lead, and a representative from the “super PAC” supporting Mr. Kasich confirmed late Sunday that it would not advertise in Indiana.


Times thinks Trump's air fleet too old, l'horreur

Donald Trump’s Aging Air Fleet Gives His Bid, and His Brand, a Lift - The New York Times

"A close look at Mr. Trump’s two airplanes — the 757 and a smaller jet used on the campaign trail — and three helicopters…suggests that their value rests chiefly in their marketing potential, with the Trump stamp of status masking the fleet’s age."

Speaking of which, we think our third helicopter might be due for a tune-up soon. Better put that on the list.