Of course I don't believe in that kind of thing—but I might lay in a few extra cans of Spam in April, just a case. Can't hurt to be prepared.
"To be performed at midnight on every waning crescent moon until he is removed from office. The first ritual takes place Friday evening, February 24th, at the stroke of midnight. This binding spell is open source, and may be modified to fit your preferred spiritual practice or magical system — the critical elements are the simultaneity of the working (midnight, EST—DC, Mar-a-Lago, and Trump Tower NYC time) and the mass energy of participants."
"While saying 'all options are being considered,' Larson suggested the Blue Hills, an existing snake habitat, may not be an ideal destination, as setting snakes free in the area in the past has not caused an uptick in the population due to human-induced mortality."
We are running out of poisonous snakes in Massachusetts.
I know. I’m shocked too. The snakes are timber rattlesnakes and there are only 200 of them left, according to some guy from the animal department. One reason there are so few of them is people go out and cut off their heads, according to the animal department guy. Cut off the snakes’ heads, the people do, not their own heads, of course. This is what the animal department refers to as “human-induced mortality."
Now the state is trying to figure out how to get more snakes, which seems silly to me. If we only have to induce 200 more heads to get rid of the critters entirely, why not get on with it?
St. Patrick got the snakes out of Ireland and he gets a parade every year.
"'I felt so connected to him, I felt like I was watching my own brother or someone I loved running for their life and it was heartbreaking,' said organizer Heather Greenhouse."
Yeah, that’d be my bet. Not that I’m planning to care. I’m not planning to care about any of the awards this year, just like last year and the year before…
"WASHINGTON — Working from an office suite behind a Burger King in southern Virginia, operatives used a web of shadowy cigarette sales to funnel tens of millions of dollars into a secret bank account. They weren’t known smugglers, but rather agents from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives."
United, American begin selling cheaper economy-class fare
Presumably this is for flying on some other planet, far, far away.