I get it with the children and pets, but aren't the slow people already slow enough?

slow by Ted Compton
slow, a photo by Ted Compton on Flickr.

Third way

A narrow escape

Kraft Dims Artificial Orange Glow Of Its Mac And Cheese : The Salt : NPR

One of the iconic foods of American childhood is becoming a bit less startlingly orange.…

But fierce fans of that Day-Glo orange processed powdered cheese need not despair. Kraft will continue to use artificial dyes in the plain mac and cheese with "original flavor," according to The Associated Press.

Whew. Close call.

Kokomo in the news


Nowhere is it more frustrating to buy gas than in Kokomo, Ind., a flat, unassuming blue collar city surrounded by farmland 45 miles north of Indianapolis that regularly sees 10-cent or 20-cent price changes in a single day.

We're #2!

Delaware, Den of Thieves? - NYTimes.com

A study by researchers at Brigham Young University, the University of Texas and Griffith University in Australia concluded that America was the second easiest country, after Kenya, in which to incorporate a shell company.


Actually, a whole lot of things work then

In the East at Dawn, an Eclipse on Sunday - NYTimes.com

“If you have windows from Manhattan that look east over Long Island from a high floor, that should work.”

Slop that simile!

A Reminder of a Conflict That Faded Into History - NYTimes.com

“People don’t know what happened here,” said Reinaldo Rodríguez, 68, a retired government planner as tall and thin as a torch…


What? Gambling at Ricks?

Tea party Republicans are biggest climate change deniers, new Pew poll finds

Tea party Republicans are now the only group of Americans who think the Earth is not warming, according to a new poll by the Pew Research Center…

Where is Dick Cheney when we need him?

DIY remote-controlled cockroach kits definitely not ethical, says PETA - Salon.com

It’s not illegal to crush or gas a cockroach, but according to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), shocking it with electric volts in order to take over its brain should be a felony.

If you can't make up some kind of cute name for it, is it still there?

How the 1 percent always wins: Liberal washing is the right’s new favorite tactic - Salon.com

In the Congress, for example, the NSA surveillance programs that so enrich private contractors were frantically liberal-washed by (among others) California Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D.) In that case, the liberal washing served as a handsome payback for the private surveillance contracting industry that bankrolls the California lawmaker’s election campaigns and her family.


Like who cares?

Linguist Says You Can Use ‘Like’ More. He’s, Like, Wrong. | New Republic

For example, I could be telling a story, and say, “I had a lot to do today. But my editor was like, we really need you to write a blog post. So I was like, okay, I’ll find something to write about.” Note that the “be” verb, in this case “was,” + “like” translates to a more dramatic version of “said,” perhaps expressing my feeling of being put-upon by my editor.

Don't rub it in, Dude

Five Scariest Geopolitical Events That Happened on Halloween | The National Interest Blog

From its ninth-century origins as a ceremony dedicated to remembering saints and the dead, Halloween has evolved—or, depending on one's perspective, devolved—into a largely secular holiday associated more with crunchy Candy Corn and costumes reflecting the increasing vacuousness of Western popular culture…


But there's absolutely no scientific way to avoid articles about them

The Scientific Way To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

  • Distract them and run away. Because they’re pretty slow, you should be able to outrun them.
  • Climb somewhere high that would hard for them to get to.
  • Hide so they forget where you are.
  • Kids these days

    Undernews: Kids aren't watching baseball

    Kids accounted for 9.4% of the NBA conference finals audience this year, compared with 10.6% a decade ago.

    Undernews: Younger teens losing interest in Facebook

    Despite repeated assertions to the contrary, Facebook finally admitted Wednesday that its youngest users really are losing interest in the social network.

    Oh yeah, him again

    Romney rejects White House effort to compare Mass. health law rollout to ObamaCare | Fox News

    On Faux News, of course; commenter calls him a Communist. Yes, Romney. Communist.

    In a hurry to get spooked?

    12 novelists tell their scariest bite-size stories - Salon.com

    Yikes! Was storm some kind of evil commie plot?

    Sandy’s hidden toll: Thousands of FBI files - Salon.com

    The storm sent water streaming into several covert FBI file storage locations in New York and New Jersey, damaging between 8,000 and 9,000 cardboard boxes, each capable of storing hundreds of documents from investigations and cases spanning at least two decades.

    Well, no. Just too much water, is all.

    We've heard of pigs in a blanket, but…

    Chris Christie accused by critics of having eye on Iowa - POLITICO.com

    With the political world watching every move Christie makes for signs of his 2016 ambitions, even something like his rejection of a law passed by the state Legislature to ban gestation crates for pregnant pigs — which animal rights activists believe are cruel — can be interpreted as a purely political move that extends well beyond the Garden State.

    Yes we have no bananas

    Dark Matter Experiment Has Detected Nothing, Researchers Say Proudly - NYTimes.com

    As has become de rigueur for such occasions, the scientists took pride and hope in how clearly they did not see anything. “In 25 years of searching, this is the cleanest signal I’ve ever seen,” Dr. Gaitskell said in an interview.


    Don't bother us with the details, you'll spoil all the fun

    Robert Reich: The Democrat’s Version of Health Insurance Would Have Been Cheaper, Simpler, and More Popular - Guernica / A Magazine of Art & Politics

    While Republicans plot new ways to sabotage the Affordable Care Act, it’s easy to forget that for years they’ve been arguing that any comprehensive health insurance system be designed exactly like the one that officially began October 1st, glitches and all.

    Extortion lefty style

    envelope by Ted Compton
    envelope, a photo by Ted Compton on Flickr.

    From our Good Stuff file

    Slideshow - Coast to Coast: The Federal Theatre Project, 1935-1939 (myLOC.gov)


    If Congressional approval ratings go negative, what happens then?

    27 GOP Senators 'Disapprove' Of Their Own Vote To Raise Debt Ceiling

    Twenty-seven Republican senators voted with Democrats on Oct. 16 to lift the debt ceiling and avert a catastrophic default. And each one of those 27 senators voted Tuesday to "disapprove" of their own votes.

    I can't wait to find out. 

    It's a good thing we don't have anything more important to worry about

    News from The Associated Press

    EASTON, Pa. (AP) -- The court battle between two girls and their Pennsylvania school over "I (heart) Boobies!" bracelets could be settled by the U.S. Supreme Court.

    Good news: Google will require you to buy more stuff

    New and improved Google Glass offered to Explorers | Tech Culture - CNET News

    Over the next few weeks, current Google Glass Explorers can invite up to three people to join the program. Those people will be required to buy Glass to get started.

    Assuming one of your friends finks you out. No kidding. (I'm not a Google Glass Explorer so raising your hand will do no good. Just mentioning. No good at all.)


    Here's Another Way the GOP Is Undermining Obamacare | Mother Jones

    Despite the fact that Obamacare could cut their health care costs almost in half, the Messicks might not switch plans. Why? Because Republicans might repeal the law.

    Words to live by

    Undernews: Word

    If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no sense being a damn fool about it. - W.C. Fields

    Let's not be hasty here

    As It Denounces U.S. Spying, Europe Delays Privacy Protection at Home - NYTimes.com

    BRUSSELS — Even with Europe in an uproar over intrusive United States surveillance, its leaders are looking for ways to slow down legislation aimed at preventing violations of privacy at home.

    Words to start the day with

    A Dynasty to Duck - NYTimes.com

    You know you’re in trouble when Dick Cheney thinks you’re a force for good.

    There's always a workaround, Dude

    Michelle Obama policy initiatives are a big deal for big business - Byron Tau and Helena Bottemiller Evich - POLITICO.com

    The White House has banned registered lobbyists from serving on government boards or in the administration — though it has granted waivers to a number of prominent lobbyists. Meanwhile, the influence industry has managed to sidestep that by having people simply not registering as lobbyists, instead acting as “consultants” to avoid the rules and the stigma associated with lobbying.



    Yes, Bunky, it's been a big day for science

    First kissing, then…

    Science: Everyone Stares at Boobs


    Unreal by Ted Compton
    Unreal, a photo by Ted Compton on Flickr.

    Wait, was there a question?

    Why the 'Sports Illustrated’ Swimsuit Issue Still Matters

    Over time, “the suits got skimpier and skimpier, the models’ attributes bigger and bigger,” Bingham wrote in 2010 in the Cape Cod Times.

    Yeah, those allied leaders are definitely a pain

    Buy a missile site, woohoo

    Scientist's Quest: Save Forgotten US Missile Sites - Yahoo News

    A base in southwest Ohio is currently for sale to anyone with $279,000.

    I actually worked on the Nike missile program back in the old (and get this—vacuum tube) days.

    Better to just order out

    You may never eat street food in China again after watching this video

    Don't cancel any vacation plans to China over this.…

    But just don't eat when you get there.

    But not so scary after all?

    Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds panic myth: The infamous radio broadcast did not cause a nationwide hysteria.
    Wednesday marks the 75th anniversary of Orson Welles’ electrifying War of the Worlds broadcast, in which the Mercury Theatre on the Air enacted a Martian invasion of Earth.
    Who cares. It was still a pretty awesome show. Also. And.

    People zapping their own brains to get smarter (they could probably use a little help)

    Jump-Starter Kits for the Mind - NYTimes.com
    Even the tDCS units used in research are often little more than a nine-volt battery with two electrodes and a controller for setting the current and the duration of the session. Several YouTube videos show how to make a rough facsimile.

    Down the rabbit hole with the New York Times

    In a front-page story out of Afghanistan this morning the Times calls the relationship between that country and the United States "troubled." Yeah, we invaded them, didn't we? That's pretty troubled all right.

    Also on page one the venerable newspaper reports "President Obama is poised to order the National Security Agency to stop eavesdropping on the leaders of American allies." Who, us?

    Meanwhile, for comic relief, in its section on health stuff the Times reports, "Recently, experimental psychologists at Oxford University explored the function of kissing in romantic relationships." Soon to be a big-budget movie, no doubt, not likely to make our list.


    On analyzing networks

    Researchers Draw Romantic Insights From Maps of Facebook Networks - NYTimes.com

    It’s not in the stars after all. Instead, it seems, the shape of a person’s social network is a powerful signal that can identify one’s spouse or romantic partner — and even if a relationship is likely to break up.

    Woohoo! Now even old guys with bad eyes can look like total dorks!

    Next I suppose you're gonna tell me there's no Santa Claus

    Obama social media links hacked - Byron Tau - POLITICO.com

    The nonprofit responsible for maintaining President Barack Obama’s online presence…

    You mean Obama doesn't tweet his own twits? Twitters? Whatever? Is there no end to this mendacity? 

    Freaking twice…

    Silicon Valley dreams of secession - Salon.com
    …Higher education “is next in the gun sites.”
    …And boasting about hit lists and gun sites?
    …this guy, a staff writer at Salon named Andrew Leonard, writes "sites" when he means "sights." Please tell me he means sights. One time, I could write off to misbehaving auto-correct, but twice? Come on.

    My tech is bigger than your tech, dude

    No, the U.S. government is not 'bad at tech' - Yahoo News

    Sure, Healtcare.Gov seems to be a mess. But let’s acknowledge that there’s a fair amount of tech know-how involved in monitoring Angela Merkel’s cell phone.

    Moreover, this U.S. government that “never gets tech right” also deploys flying killer robots on the other side of the planet; helped orchestrate an unprecedented cyber attack on the nuclear facilities of a sovereign state, and has a history of “moonshot” projects that includes the foundations of the Internet and, well, many actual moonshots.

    Well at least we got rid of some of that pesky science stuff

    How Sequestration Gets Even Worse Next Year

    Sequestration may have had a muted impact in some areas this year, but it devastated others. Meals on Wheels is delivering far fewer meals. Cancer patients were denied chemotherapy. Housing vouchers were revoked from some families and support for the homeless was rolled back. Domestic violence programs have cut back on services. Long-term unemployment checks were reduced. Scientists had to fire staff and cancel projects. Federal agencies that oversee fraud and waste and collect vital data have been hampered.

    How much could we save by cutting the congresscritters' pay?


    I have to get it tested some time this week. My own blood, I mean. I'm thinking, if I get it together I could do it on Halloween. How cool would that be? I wonder if they dress up as vampires, the blood ladies at the hospital. They should.

    But Wednesday is trash day I have to get up a little early anyway, and since this test requires a fast, early is good. So probably tomorrow would be a better day for it. Halloween een.

    Let's go back to just listening to the phone calls

    Urban Shield: The gun nuts weaponizing your city - Salon.com

    The annual event has a variety of backers, including the Department of Homeland Security and over 100 police and military agencies. It features a wide-range of corporate partners peddling their wares from Black-Ops Airsoft training guns to Safariland Group’s body armor and “less lethal” tear gas line.…

    But it's only Congress so nobody cares

    How Rubio Went From Championing Immigration Reform To Vehemently Opposing His Own Bill | ThinkProgress

    His decision to abandon the policy comes after months of wavering and careful political calculation. The first-term senator at times tied himself in rhetorical knots trying to appeal to moderate voters while still courting the conservative Tea Party supporters who helped propel him to the Senate in 2010.

    Also hold breath until his face turns blue

    Lindsey Graham to block picks over Benghazi - Lucy McCalmont - POLITICO.com

    Sen. Lindsey Graham said Monday he will hold up “every appointment” in the Senate until more questions are answered on Benghazi.

    Then you'll be sorry!

    New England in cute season

    Haunted Happenings Salem Massachusetts - The Official Website for Halloween

    The very definition of a concern troll

    Republicans’ new anti-Obamacare tactic: class war - Salon.com

    Get this: Late last week the government announced that its online health insurance marketplace — an e-commerce portal for millions of uninsured people in 36 states — would soon be working, and some people were very upset about it.…

    And here’s a modest prediction: If the marketplaces don’t begin work by about the end of November, these same people will pretend to be extremely concerned for the well-being of the marketplace’s intended consumers, but they’ll actually be extremely pleased that those consumers will be locked out of it.

    It sorta seems obvious to me

    The Big Kludge - NYTimes.com

    A society committed to the notion that government is always bad will have bad government.


    I would have perfect hair…

    …if I cashed in all the coupons I get from CVS and had, well, hair. But I don't so I don't.

    Really, every time I buy something at that drugstore I get a whole batch of coupons (seven today!) for stuff that washes hair, colors hair, smooths hair, wrinkles hair or fusses around with hair in one way or another. Except today, when five of the coupons were for pain pills. That just hurts.

    One would like to believe this is not true…

    Groceries Become a Guy Thing - WSJ.com

    Lots of products on food shelves are big no-nos to men, says Lu Ann Williams, head of research for Netherlands-based Innova Market Insights. Others help men feel more, well, manly. "A beer or soda in a long-necked, brown bottle makes a man feel like a man. Drinking out of a straw does not—puckered lips and sunken cheeks are not a good guy look."

    Which helps explain Powerful Yogurt…

    …but alas, it seems to be. 

    Does this mean I have to stop eating the yogurt with the little cow on the package?

    Commenter says…

    Oh Jesus Fucking Christ » Balloon Juice

    I mean, when Tailgunner Ted is traveling around I-yoh-way bitching and moaning because people can’t sign up for the program for which he shut down the government, we’ve gotten as close to peak wingnut as we’ll ever be.

    [commenter: efgoldman]

    I say…


    And a lousy, miserable day to you too

    News from The Associated Press

    GOP hopes 'Obamacare' woes have staying power

    Oh oh, women driving

    Saudi Women Rise Up, Quietly, and Slide Into the Driver’s Seat - NYTimes.com

    Another cleric, Sheik Mohammed al-Nujaimi, described the campaign as a “great danger,” saying it would lead to ruined marriages, a low birthrate, the spread of adultery, more car accidents and “the spending of excessive amounts on beauty products.”

    Also—well, far be it from me to understand such things—but what would be an excessive amount of beauty products for a woman who goes around wearing one of those Muslim cover-up outfits anyway?

    Wait till these show up in your crossword puzzle

    The Word For... : The New Yorker

    There ought to be a word for “the limbo-like precincts of an airport baggage claim, where groggy travellers gather around the motionless treads of empty conveyor belts.”…