It ain't brain surgery

Who had the worst week in Washington? Ben Carson. - The Washington Post

"Congrats, or something."

Seriously. Bad. News.

Why college student protesters are battling free speech, in 1 graph - The Washington Post

"Millennials were actually about as likely to endorse some censorship at rates greater than countries that have no 1st Amendment or its equivalent."

Need a little time by yourself?

You could go climb a mountain somewhere…or just hop a flight to Las Angeles.

Celebrities Will Evade Fans and Photographers at Los Angeles Airport Lounge - The New York Times

"For a fee that will most likely run to about $1,800 per trip, a movie star, sports legend, diplomat, business magnate or regular private citizen who craves privacy will be able to enter through a private gate, avoid the infamous airport traffic, and wait far from the crush of people at the central terminal of the airport, which is known as LAX. "


Luck in a silver box

Democrat Wins Mississippi House Race After Drawing Straw - NYTimes.com

"'It’s wrong — philosophically, morally,' Mr. Eaton said before Friday’s drawing. 'It’s archaic, it’s medieval, and it’s wrong. We need a new election.' He repeated the sentiment even after winning and said that he hoped to co-author a bill to change the law that settles some elections by the drawing of lots."

Meanwhile, loser plans a challenge.

[Noted by our Pacific Rim bureau.]

Maybe she could get the Donald to build a magnificent wall

Outlining Plan to Defeat ISIS and Global Terrorism, Clinton Says U.S. Must Choose Resolve Over Fear

"We should not stop pressing until Turkey, where most foreign fighters cross into Syria, finally locks down its border."

Clinton and Trump agree on buttoning down borders, they just don’t agree on where the borders are.

Beat the rush

If you're having trouble with that little flashlight you keep on your keychain…

In San Fran: Don't need no bombs, just take off your pants

Woman stops traffic with striptease along SF Bay Bridge - NY Daily News


Imagine our relief

Kourtney gives update on Khloé’s health: She’s OK | Page Six


There'll always be an England

Oxford Dictionaries names 'tears of joy' emoji as 'word' of the year

Well, hey, intelligent information is overrated anyway

Ben Carson Is Struggling to Grasp Foreign Policy, Advisers Say - The New York Times

''Nobody has been able to sit down with him and have him get one iota of intelligent information about the Middle East,' said Duane R. Clarridge, a top adviser to Mr. Carson on terrorism and national security.'

Sit-ins at $60,000 per year

Reporters barred from Smith College sit-in held in solidarity with University of Missouri students unless they support movement | masslive.com

"NORTHAMPTON -- In an effort to create a safe space free from potential insensitivity from the news media, activists at Smith College barred reporters from covering a sit-in Wednesday that drew 300 to 500 students."

No kidding. And backing them up is this college official:

"Stacey Schmeidel, Smith College director of media relations, said…'It's a student event, and we respect their right to do that, although it poses problems for the traditional media,’"

First amendment, first schamendment: Who needs it. 

Granted, students at Smith and nearby Amherst colleges, which cost upwards of $60,000 per year to attend, and at Yale, just down the road a piece, which comes in at a paltry $40,000 per year, complaining about their lack of privilege is a tad bizarre but it’s pretty much what kids at upscale colleges do. Smith students famously uninvited Christine Lagarde from making a commencement speech a few years back—didn’t meet the college’s high standards. 

Although Yale, in its defense, did give a degree to George W. Bush.


Not even funny any more

Trump Wouldn't Rule Out Muslim IDs, Closing Mosques - The Daily Beast

"s a means to fighting terrorism, Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump wouldn’t rule out the closing of U.S. mosques and issuing special identification and/or setting up a database of Muslim Americans."

I say it's Al Gore's fault

Here’s a question: Why are cherry blossoms blooming on the National Mall today? - The Washington Post

"A cherry tree is blooming beautiful pink flowers on the National Mall today, seemingly out of season."

Half full…half empty…half full…

Drink To Your Health: Study Links Daily Coffee Habit To Longevity : The Salt : NPR

They’re never gonna make up their minds but me, I don’t care.

Found an ideal snack…

…a cheesy-Danishy confection made by a company I won’t name (but its initials are Little Debbie)…combines your sugar crash and your saturated fat overload in one tasty treat. Plus, it’s really not all that tasty so you’ll hardly know you ate it at all

Sure, nothing’s perfect. But this comes close.

And only yesterday…

France’s president has always been far tougher than Obama | New York Post

…they were “cheese-eating surrender monkeys” and we were reduced to eating freedom fries. What a comeback!


How terrible would it be if we ran out of cautionary tales?

Why a C.E.O. President Is Probably Doomed | Vanity Fair

"The last successful businessman to run for president was Herbert Hoover. And how did that work out?"

Somebody at New Republic is happy because the Ben Carson line is going down

And Bobby Jingles quits.

What's worse, the New England states are red (shame on us)

Ben Carson’s campaign made a U.S. map and put a bunch of states in the wrong place - The Washington Post

"Ben Carson's presidential campaign…took to social media to share a map of the United States in which five New England states were placed in the wrong location. "

Oops. And wouldn’t you know, it’s Geography Awareness Week.

Maybe it’s just me, but a person would think knowing where things are would be a handy skill for a brain surgeon to have.


Food fight comes to no good end

Police say hoagie hurler hauled in on assault charge

"The Fairfax City Police Department in Virginia says in a news release that 32-year-old Jonathan M. Magnes of Morristown was drunk when he threw a sandwich at a 50-year-old man at a Fairfax pizza restaurant and then drove away."

Hey, as long as it's warm surprise it's OK with me

By one measure, this wicked El Niño is the strongest ever recorded: What it means - The Washington Post

"While El Niño has certain characteristic effects which we have discussed at length in the past (for the D.C. area, and the U.S. and beyond), the background warmth adds a potential element of surprise heading into the winter months."

What?!? You mean the Twitter…??!?

Everything the Internet hoax machine tricked you into believing about Paris - The Washington Post


Peanut butter and banana oatmeal

No kidding. I read this thing about putting peanut butter in the oatmeal, and it’s pretty good. A good glop or two will do. 

I suppose you could add mashed banana with the PB but I like mine sliced on top.

Now, adding chocolate…well, I’m just saying.

Technology will save us all

For $10, a new website will dump your girlfriend for you | New York Post

'Enter: The Breakup Shop, a new, online service started by two Canadians that claims it will 'handle the messy work of the breakup' for you, in the form of a text ($10), phone call ($29) or a custom letter ($30).'

More guns solves everything

From 2004 to 2014, over 2,000 terror suspects legally purchased guns in the United States

"Membership in a terrorist organization does not prohibit a person from possessing firearms or explosives under current federal law," the Government Accountability Office concluded in 2010. The law prohibits felons, fugitives, drug addicts and domestic abusers from purchasing a firearm in the United States. But people on the FBI's consolidated terrorist watchlist — typically placed there when there is "reasonable suspicion" that they are a known or suspected terrorist — can freely purchase handguns or assault-style rifles.

Something something about the administration's Middle Eastern foreign policy (or lack thereof)

No, I don't understand it either. But maybe somebody does.


Apparently Starbuck's war on Christmas is over

Once in a while Bernie nails it

What's wrong with this picture?

Aircraft carrier U.S.S. Harry S. Truman headed to fight Islamic State - The Washington Post


Seriously, this is a pretty revealing piece

Comparing Hillary Clinton's Top Donors to Bernie Sanders' Top Donors


I'd be happy if we could just get the ISIS/ISIL thing sorted out

Paris Terror Attacks: The War No One Can Name - POLITICO Magazine

"Is it just Islamic State in Syria and Iraq, or is it also the radicals who are inspired by Islamic State to do violence around the world, as in Paris and Boston? Does the war include the various radical offshoots that Obama’s been hitting with drone strike in the Middle East and North Africa for the past seven years? So it would seem, Obama indicated in Turkey, saying he's 'going after every single terrorist network.'"

Pardon me if I'm not to thrilled about this

Anonymous Declares War on ISIS

"While the efficacy of shutting down Twitter accounts in slowing the spread of extremism has been disputed, it's clear that breaking up the means of communication for online extremists will require more resources, and skill, than ever."

It's not enough we have to watch soccer?

Gaelic games come roaring back - The Boston Globe

"Dan Walsh’s younger son, Fintan, wore a jersey representing the senior hurling team from Kilkenny, Ireland. The hurling club with the most championships, they’re the team that makes the others green with envy, his father explained: 'They’re like the Patriots.'"

Just wanted to finish the job

Deer makes surprise visit to Michigan collision repair shop

"GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — A collision repair shop in western Michigan that fixes cars after crashes involving deer got a surprise visitor from one of the animals."

Imagine our relief

No zombie apocalypse in Wisconsin, just casket falling from a boat | Reuters

""There was no sign that it was ever used for a burial," Adams County Deputy Joe LeBreck said. "We had no concerns that we had a grave robbery or a zombie apocalypse here.""

So now you can actually major in pot?

Business is booming at the Harvard of pot in California - The Washington Post

"Today, the school employs 20 staff members and 150 instructors, including some of the biggest stars in the cannabis universe. Debby Goldsberry co-founded the Berkeley Patients Group medical cannabis collective, and Ed Rosenthal is often cited as the world’s leading authority on marijuana cultivation. The Oakland lecture hall holds 50 students and every seat is paid for."


Gotta love Boston

‘Pastafarian’ Woman Allowed To Wear Spaghetti Strainer In Driver’s License Photo « CBS Boston

"BOSTON (CBS) – The Registry of Motor Vehicles allowed a Massachusetts woman to wear a spaghetti strainer on her head in her driver’s license picture as an expression of her “Pastafarian” religion."