6.03.2006

There'll always be an England.

BBC presenter in psychedelic blouse outrage | The Register: "Silverton hit the sofa on BBC Breakfast yesterday in an ill-advised and potentially lethal lime green and yellow blouse/scarf combo, prompting outraged viewers to demand immediate action, the Evening Standard reports. She duly announced: 'My blouse has divided opinion. I apologise if it has made you turn down the contrast on your set.'"

Brit geek site covers "fluorescent apparel of death."

Bummer!

Anna Nicole Smith says she's pregnant, little else - Yahoo! News: "LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Former Playboy Playmate model, reality TV star and would-be oil heiress
Anna Nicole Smith announced on her official Web site on Thursday that she is pregnant, but offered few other details."

Just when I was hoping to finally hear some details about Anna Nicole Smith.

Bravo, Rutland Herald.

Rutland Herald: Rutland Vermont News & Information: "The difficult burden now weighing down the Bush administration is that the Iraq war was chosen; it was not thrust upon us. In choosing to go to war, Bush chose to accept responsibility for the acts of brutality that inevitably followed. President Bush has seldom spoken of the disasters of Iraq as his responsibility, and he has sought to pin the blame anywhere but on himself. But the spiral of death that appears to be widening in Iraq did not happen by chance. It grew out of the illusions and miscalculations of the American administration."

The good news is, there are only 12 months.

06/06/06 : Apocalypse now? - The Boston Globe: "It is no coincidence, though, that the pop-culture hype machine is cranked up to exploit the date in every way possible. For weeks, billboard ads for ``The Omen' have proclaimed ``The signs are all around you' and ``You have been warned.' Heavy metal bands such as Deicide , Behemoth, and Slayer are releasing music on the date, launching summer tours, or sparking fan celebrations. The album ``Strummin' With the Devil: Bluegrass Tribute to Van Halen ,' featuring David Lee Roth, hits stores, too, while Radio Free Satan airs its ``Satan's Rockin' 666 Eve Party' on the Web and the Church of Satan's Los Angeles franchise stages a sold-out ``satanic high mass.'"

So this kind of thing goes on until 12/12/12 and then we're safe for another 98 years. More or less. I think.

Lunkhead count revised upward.

local6.com - News - 6-Year-Old Fla. Girl Charged With Felony For Kicking Teacher's Aide: "Takovia was taken to juvenile jail and held there for several hours before being released to her mother.

She is being charged with battery on a public education employee."

6.02.2006

Why not? "Bring 'em on" doesn't seem to work.

NYO - News Story 1: "“One of the things I would do if I were President would be to sit the Shiites and the Sunnis down and say, ‘Stop the bullshit,’” said Mr. McCain, according to Shirley Cloyes DioGuardi, an invitee, and two other guests."

Can't say the man doesn't have a plan.

Move over, Raymond Chandler.

Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays: "She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. "
Oh yeah. And there are more. So many more.

Thanks to Lynn and the mysterious Kellie.

Feel like reading "War and Peace" on your cell phone, here's your chance.

Free chapter added to saga of e-books - The Boston Globe: "Project Gutenberg, a 35-year-old nonprofit based in Urbana, Ill., announced yesterday it is putting as many as 300,000 books online, where they will be available for free download. Called the World eBook Fair (worldbookfair.com), the program will last a month -- July 4 to Aug. 4 -- and will be repeated annually."

The World eBook Fair web site, not yet ready for prime time, is here.

6.01.2006

Barbarians.

The Blotter: "New York has no national monuments or icons, according to the Department of Homeland Security form obtained by ABC News. That was a key factor used to determine that New York City should have its anti-terror funds slashed by 40 percent--from $207.5 million in 2005 to $124.4 million in 2006."

True, we seem to have no further use for the Statue of Liberty or Ellis Island. But what about the Empire State Building, the Brooklyn Bridge, Radio City Music Hall, the United Nations, Times Square, and the Holland Tunnel?

What about Fifth Avenue, Park Avenue, Madison Avenue, and the Great White Way? Washington Square? Greenwich Village? The entire freakin Borough of Brooklyn?

What about Yankee Stadium, Madison Square Garden, and Forrest Lawn? The New York Public Library, three or four of the best-known art museums in the world, the Metropolitan Opera, and the Theater District? Trinity Church? Wall Street? Grant's Tomb? Grand Central Station? What about the BMT - there's even a sandwich named after the BMT, fercrissake.

What about Ground freakin Zero?

WTF is with these cretins, anyway?

&%$*^#&%^##&&&&!!!

Please, Washington Post, tell me this is just sloppy writing.

Probe Into Iraq Deaths Finds False Reports: "The Bargewell investigation is likely to be explosive on Capitol Hill, because it focuses on questions that have haunted the Bush administration and the U.S. military since the scandal over abuse at Abu Ghraib prison emerged two years ago: How do U.S. military leaders in Iraq react to allegations of wrongdoing by their troops? And is the military prepared to carry out the long and arduous process of putting down an insurgency as part of the first U.S. occupation of an Arab nation?"

First U.S occupation of an Arab nation?

5.31.2006

Got a question about salmon, Bunky? Better just ask the fish.

Questions About Salmon Are Directed Upstream: "The Washington office of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration -- the agency responsible for protecting endangered salmon -- has instructed its representatives and scientists in the West to route media questions about salmon back to headquarters. Only three people in the entire agency, all of them political appointees, are now authorized to speak of salmon, according to a NOAA employee who has been silenced on the fish."

And speaking of Minnesota, look how nice and square it is.

EO Newsroom: New Images - Agricultural Patterns: "Around the world, agricultural practices have developed as a function of topography, soil type, crop type, annual rainfall, and tradition. This montage of six images from the Advanced Spaceborne Thermal Emission and Reflection Radiometer (ASTER) sensor on NASA’s Terra satellite shows differences in field geometry and size in different parts of the world."

Don't tell me those Norwegian bachelor farmers can't make straight lines.

Maybe Hank oughta take a look at this.

Bush Turns to Wall St. for Treasury Secretary - Los Angeles Times: "'Hank shares my philosophy that the economy prospers when we trust the American people to save, spend and invest their money as they see fit,' the president said."

Save?

No it's not Northern Minnesota he's talking about.

(That'd be in this article by Seth Borenstein, an AP science writer).
"It probably was (a tropical paradise) but the mosquitoes were probably the size of your head," said Yale geology professor Mark Pagani, a study co-author.

No. No one would ever call Northern Minnesota a "tropical paradise."

And anyway he'd be talking about the baby mosquitoes there, the ones the size of your head. Unless, of course, you have an unusually big head.

No, the article's about what the Arctic region might have been like during an episode of global warming 55 million years ago. Which was before Northern Minnesota was invented. They couldn't have invented Northern Minnesota until after they invented fur-lined boots.

One step at a time, at least.

Somebody fixed the net while I was at work, so now it's only the graphics card that needs repair. Tomorrow, I figure, will be time enough. I still have 1.5 computers running, which will probably get me through the day.
this is an audio post - click to play

5.30.2006

I don't know about you...

The secret of creating boring jobs - The Boston Globe: "'Boredom flourishes when you feel safe. It's a symptom of security.' -- Eugene Ionesco"

...but my job's not boring enough.

Feeling a little out of sorts, Bunky?


You may be suffering from superpower fatigue!
“The administration’s bark is minimised, and much of the bite seems gone,” he writes in the Nixon Center’s National Interest journal. “Has superpower fatigue set in? Clearly so, to judge by the administration’s own dwindling energy and its sober acknowledgment that changing the face of the world is a lot tougher than it had hoped.”

Or so says the Financial Times (here via Raw Story).

That explains it, all right.

Ask your doctor if Fukitol® is right for you!

PS: No, the web site's no longer there. Maybe they took their own pill.

Wait a minute. What's this?

(And thanks, Boing Boing.)
4-in-1 Military Microphone Radio Flashlight Siren: "Give yourself the peace of mind to know that you and your family are prepared for any number of emergencies that may come your way. Our Mega-Flashlights are so feature-laden that you’ll be prepared for any number of situations that may arise."

A camouflaged flashlight? Oh yeah, that'll work. (Hey Dude, where's that light coming from? Beats me - I don't see a thing.) Or...wait, this is better...a camouflaged megaphone! Really. Is this the first thing you'd want in an emergency that somehow requires camouflage - a megaphone?

Maybe I'm missing something here. Probably it's the camouflage that does that.

But it's a lot more fun.

Prescription for costly health care / Program by some insurers to encourage patients to cut pills in half has critics -- especially drug firms that would lose money: "Fresno emergency physician Charles Phillips, the doctor involved in the Kaiser lawsuit, says pill splitting is never safe. He said a 15-year-old study showed a 20 percent variance in weight of split tablets. While studies have not shown patient harm, no study has confirmed the practice is safe, he said."

Know what would be even more fun? Get the drug companies to make some really, really, really big pills and then we could cut them into four pieces instead of just two!

White guys can't do graffiti either.

Please. Spare us the purple prose.

Beyond Bars and Strip Clubs, City Beckons Sailors on Shore Leave - New York Times: "For sailors, traditional and nontraditional, New York has been their fried pork dumpling."

Actually I always thought of it as a slice of pizza. But hey, not Anthony Ramirez and Kate Hammer, two writers for the NY Times, who interview sailors from the amphibious assault ship USS Kearsarge on shore leave in Manhattan and find an abiding interest in frozen cappucinos and...wait for it...brownstones.

"We spent the day on a bus tour mostly looking for nice architecture," said Botswain's Mate Jason Kinsey, "so I'm in seventh heaven when I see brownstones."

His adventures in heavens one through six go unremarked.

Pennsylvania woman executes world-class spin.

USATODAY.com - Three Mile Island guard playing video game fails to see inspector: "'The issue is not the guard's use of the video game,' Kathleen McGinty, secretary of the environmental agency, said in a statement.

'The real issue is that his complete absorption in the game distracted him from noticing the repeated approach of our inspector. And that shows why this procedure needs to be changed and these video games disallowed,' she said."

Huh? It's not that he was using the game, it's just that he was, well, you know, using it. And therefore we should ban the games. Or, I suppose, yeah maybe we could hire some adults to guard the nuke plant.

5.29.2006

Score one for ambition.

Lovesick swan falls in love with swan paddle boat - Yahoo! News: "BERLIN (Reuters) - A swan has fallen in love with a plastic swan-shaped paddle boat on a pond in the German town of Muenster and has spent the past three weeks flirting with the vessel five times its size, a sailing instructor said Friday."

5.28.2006

They should get an exemption just on the basis of "last place left."

Smoking and sex go hand-in-hand, Aussie brothels say - Yahoo! News: "Newspapers reported on Sunday that the Australian Adult Entertainment Industry had written to Victoria state officials seeking an exemption to laws which ban smoking in workplaces for fear they will drive prostitutes back onto the street."

Of course they could wind up with a bunch of really, really crowded brothels if they do.

Unclear on the concept.

Yes you are, Senator Frist.

Frist: Protecting the flag isn't pandering - Yahoo! News: "'I'm going to Arlington Cemetery tomorrow, and I'm going to see that American flag waving on every single grave over there,' Frist said the day before Memorial Day ceremonies at the military cemetery."

And when you do, try to get this through your miserable head. The graves at Arlington are not restricted to members of your political party or your so-called "base," to any race or religion or color, any economic group, any "lifestyle," or even any language. They are the graves of Americans and the flag that waves over them belongs to us all. To us all.

Get used to it.

Don't fence me in.