Nice work if you can get it

Two Health Care Giants Flee US Taxes — While Living on Them | Blog | BillMoyers.com

Shut up and eat your invasive green crab

NC firm encourages Maine fishermen to sell invasive green crabs to be processed into cat food — Portland — Bangor Daily News — BDN Maine

"FREEPORT, Maine — As researchers from Casco Bay to Frenchman Bay study the lifestyle and diet of invasive European green crabs in an effort to control the predators, a North Carolina company hopes to find Mainers willing to sell the creeping crustaceans to be processed into cat food."

Starts with a "p" and ends with "olitics"

Rebels ask for Iraq-style strikes in Syria - Middle East - Al Jazeera English

"Opposition politicians in exile have expressed dismay as to why three years of bloodshed has not led to the same rapid response by the international community as the escalating crisis in Iraq."

Attack of the Hacker Sharks

Google reinforces undersea cables after shark bites | Technology | theguardian.com

"Sharks have been biting down on fibre optic cables under the Pacific, possibly confused by electrical signals that resemble fish"

And was that a dancing semicolon? Really?

Big Mike says, "This sick vid should be shown in classrooms nationwide. I have my doubts that young thugs would become enlightened by 3:46 of a tune that you can't get out of your head and super speedy animation but, after a number of viewings they may well slip into a catatonic state which will provide the teacher with peace when she/he returns to the room."


Looting! Riots!

The Rude Pundit: It's a Family Tradition: The Looting, Rioting Founding Fathers

"'With respects to the Lieut. Governor’s House, where they ended their vile [transactions]…they had rais’d a greater Number and were intoxicated with Liquor, broke his Windows, threw all his furniture out of his House, stamp’d upon the Chairs, Mahogany Tables, very handsome Large gilt-framed Pictures, the Pieces of which lay in Piles in the Street, open’d his Beds and let all the Feathers out, took ten thousand pounds in Cash, took all his Cloathes, Linnen, Plate, and everything he had, cut the Balcony off the Top of his House, pulled down all the Fruit Trees in his Garden, and did him in all 25,000 pounds damage.'"


Hang in there, kid—you could be a congresscritter some day

Alleged phone thief calls 911 because victim won’t leave her alone | Ars Technica

"A suspect accused of stealing a cell phone called 911 to report her alleged victim for harassment, according to a report from Komo News Tuesday. Police responded to the call when the suspect said the victim was 'following her and refusing to leave her alone.'"

What's for dinner

Back in the day when I was working as a writer for hire I used to tell people I’d write anything for a buck—except menus. A guy’s got to have some principles, I’d say…

Menu Speak - Jen Doll - The Atlantic

“…every increase of one letter in the average length of words describing a dish is associated with an increase of 69 cents in the price of that dish…"


Also unlike popcorn, it's not popcorn

Crazy, huh?

If you're planning a walk hereabouts this morning…

…bring a bar of soap.


NSA-Proof “Black-Phone” Gets Rooted Within 5 Minutes | Fortuna's Corner

"‘Black-Phone,’ Mr. Wei notes, ‘is a joint venture between encrypted communications firm Silent Circle, and Spanish [mobile] phone maker Geeksphone, has a fully customized version of Android known as PirvatOS; and, pre-installed with lots of privacy-enabled applications, which claims to offer its users a high-end security at consumer level.’"


Lauren Bacall dead at 89: Her swagger, above all, set Bacall apart in Hollywood - NY Daily News

“…never just another dame."

But floating…

U.S. considers more military advisers for Iraq - CNN.com

"The Obama administration is thinking about sending additional military advisers to Iraq…"

…because no boots on the ground.


Adventures in the Big Apple

Operation Fantasia – Futility Closet

"To test the plan, the agency actually released 30 foxes in Central Park that ‘were painted with a radiant chemical which glowed in the dark.’ As a result, according to one report, ‘Horrified citizens, shocked by the sudden sight of the leaping ghostlike animals, fled from the dark recesses of the park with the ‘screaming jeemies.’’"

On the bricks

Finally, some news that's not entirely depressing

Bank Robber Adds New Dimension to Old Definition of Chutzpah | Mother Jones

"Woman helps rob bank in elaborate scheme, then files workers comp claim for PTSD."

(Actually, she might be on to something. I wonder if you could claim PTSD for getting laid off in that financial bust of a few years back. Or for getting a parking ticket. Or for getting to McDonald’s just three minutes after they stop serving breakfast.)

Is this a great country or what

California Residents Are Painting Their Lawns Green - NationalJournal.com

"Companies that promise to paint lawns are cropping up all over California. The service lets homeowners cut back on water use without sacrificing curb appeal."

So why is there no bee week, huh?

You're More Likely to Die From a Bee Sting Than a Shark Attack - NationalJournal.com

But that doesn't mean we can't bomb 'em, does it?

Air strikes can't solve Iraq's problems, Obama says. So what's the point? - CSMonitor.com

"‘There is no military solution to the crisis in Iraq,’ Mr. Obama reiterated…"


Imagine our unbounded joy

American Banks Just Posted Their Second-Highest Quarterly Profit On Record | ThinkProgress

"American banks reported a combined $40.24 billion in profit for the second quarter of the year, coming up just barely shy of the record profit of $40.36 billion that the industry notched in the first three months of last year."

Maybe we should get the Red Cross to help us humanitarianly bomb Iraq

Putin Says Russia Sending 'Humanitarian' Convoy Into Ukraine

"Russian President Vladimir Putin has told European Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso that Russia is sending a 'humanitarian' convoy into Ukraine with supervision by the International Red Cross."

And don't make us underline this again

Sure it's a long time til Christmas, but still


Milo Minderbinder lives

The US bombing its own guns perfectly sums up America’s total failure in Iraq - Vox

"The absurdity runs deep: America is using American military equipment to bomb other pieces of American military equipment halfway around the world. The reason the American military equipment got there in the first place was because, in 2003, the US had to use its military to rebuild the Iraqi army, which it just finished destroying with the American military. The American weapons the US gave the Iraqi army totally failed at making Iraq secure and have become tools of terror used by an offshoot of al-Qaeda to terrorize the Iraqis that the US supposedly liberated a decade ago. And so now the US has to use American weaponry to destroy the American weaponry it gave Iraqis to make Iraqis safer, in order to make Iraqis safer."

What it all looks like to the World Bank

The World Bank summed up the entire global economy in one chart - Vox

The Strip

The Strip - Slide Show - NYTimes.com

(Noted by our Midwest and Elsewhere Bureau)

Hitler Youth video from 1930's New York State

The Unwritten Record » Nazi Summer Camp, American Style

"in the late 1930s the East Coast was home to many summer camps for the junior Nazis of America and the National Archives holds the film evidence. "


Officially the pits

Obama’s plan to stop ISIS panned by both sides of aisle | New York Post

“…even Hillary Clinton took a shot at his foreign policy."

Now you can hire yourself some work-avoiding lawyers…

Chocolate Chip Mint: Is it real or fantasy?

"'Fantasy leagues may also engage services to make their things run smoothly and settle disputes. Leagues may deposit collected fees with fantasy football specific escrow companies, and settle disputes regarding trades or scoring by using lawyer-run fantasy football arbitration websites for a flat fee per resolution.'"

…to help settle your work-avoiding disagreements over playing work-avoiding fantasy football. And nothing at all gets done. 

Gone green

Stop doing this if you can

I could not stop [4]

OK, sorta free then

New website ReaganBook wants a friend request from conservatives | Fox News

"The makers of a new social network called 'ReaganBook' want you to know it's okay to un-friend the website -- and turn to what they call their 'platform for all freedom-loving Americans.' …
"But the network has had a rocky launch, as ReaganBook's free speech policy immediately backfired."

Once again we find ourselves on the cutting edge

Pollsters: 'Everything is terrible' - Lucy McCalmont - POLITICO.com

"In just one week, polls found politicians of all stripes are hitting approval numbers with record lows. The president finds himself roughly as popular as a trip to the dentist. The entire Democratic Party gets the thumbs down. Oh, and so does the Republican Party.

"But it doesn’t stop there. Americans are also bummed out about the future in general, especially the economy. Things are so low that even an old favorite, sugar, polled poorly."


Peter Pan Must Die Audiobook | John Verdon | Audible.com

"The daunting task that confronts Gurney, once the NYPD's top homicide cop: determining the guilt or innocence of a woman already convicted of shooting her charismatic politician husband - who was felled by a rifle bullet to the brain while delivering the eulogy at his own mother's funeral."

Early walk