Whoever decided to put stickers on tomatoes should be pummeled

There. I said it.

Having your cake

Washington Post editorials will no longer use ‘Redskins’ for the local NFL team - The Washington Post

"By Editorial Board
…we have decided that, except when it is essential for clarity or effect, we will no longer use the slur ourselves. "

Imagine our relief.

Class warfare against…wait for it…banks

The Obama Bank Shakedown | National Review Online

"The $16.65 billion settlement by Bank of America over financial-crisis-era mortgage securities ‘highlights a pattern of the government extorting the banks,’ Dick Kovacevich said on CNBC this week. …
…These huge bank settlements are election-year ATMs for the Obama administration. "

We shoulda just let them crash. 

At first they thought it was just Dubya again

Drunk Segway driver a first for Norwegian police

"It seems police had received several calls from people in Tjuvholmen, Oslo, reporting the rather strange behavior of a man, trying to drive a Segway. When they arrived on the scene, police decided that intoxication was probably the reason for the incident."

We noticed

This beer comes in an almost completely recycled can | Voices

"The brand name for the product is evercan, with a lowercase ‘e’."

It's an election year

Headed for the Hall of Shame

"A Republican ad attacking Democratic Sen. Mark Pryor of Arkansas says he ‘voted to give Social Security benefits to illegal immigrants.’ Actually, what Pryor voted for wouldn’t have paid a penny to any immigrant while here illegally.
The ad also claims he voted to ‘give members of Congress special benefits’ to buy health insurance. Actually, the benefits are no more ‘special’ than those of all other federal employees. And Pryor didn’t vote to ‘give’ them; he voted against a partisan proposal to take them away."

OK, let's just skip the other two

Three positive signs in Bears' lopsided loss to Seahawks - DailyHerald.com

"First positive of note: The Bears' defense, particularly the front four, was able to pressure Wilson, forcing him to scramble four times Friday night. The end result, however, was 23 yards rushing for Wilson, including a 7-yard TD."

And she's not talking about the name of her committee

Sharpen the pencils: Tennessee revives cursive teaching - Yahoo News

"'I don't think it's bad, but I don't think there's much of a point to it,' said Sandra Wilde, chair of the National Council of Teacher of English Elementary Section Steering Committee."

(Also, can you type and chew gum at the same time?)


Your job is avoiding working…

it's really hard to take a day off. But fortunately, it's still warm enough to go without socks. So I won't have to do laundry for a few more days.

Which really would be a nanny state

Poll: Most Americans Want to Criminalize Pre-Teens Playing Unsupervised - Reason.com

"A whopping 68 percent of Americans think there should be a law that prohibits kids 9 and under from playing at the park unsupervised, despite the fact that most of them no doubt grew up doing just that"



The wolf was like, "Dude"…

What Would Happen If the Earth Stopped Spinning? An Excerpt from XKCD's "What If?" - Esquire

"Say you’re in a massive bunker made out of some material that can withstand thousand-mile-per-hour winds."

Cut the guy some slack—just keeping track of his job title is a full-time occupation

Why US Special Forces failed to rescue James Foley - Yahoo News

"True, hostage rescue operations using Special Forces are ‘extraordinarily complicated’ under any circumstances, says Rick ‘Ozzie’ Nelson, a nonresident fellow in the Homeland Security and Counterterrorism Program at the Center for Strategic and International Studies."

(Also, divulging this information was a genuinely stupid thing to do.)

But you can do it if you try

Tech Companies’ Secret Weapon: Animal Logos - Digits - WSJ

"Done right, a little fluffy puppy is hard to ignore."


Cubs try to win: Boo

As Cubs try to win, attendance drops — report | Voices

“…as the Ricketts family tries to put a winning team on the field, fans are disappearing from seats by the thousands. Babcock reports that ticket sales are down 6,500 a game since 2009, and that doesn’t account for the no-shows."

Procrastinator's paradise

There is nothing I need to do today. Absolutely nothing. Sure, there are a few things I could do, but they can wait. Maybe they just will.

Should anybody care?

Should performers have to pay NFL to play Super Bowl halftime show? - LA Times


Home to roost?

Undernews: Israel helped mistrain cops in Ferguson crisis

"At least two of the four law enforcement agencies that were deployed in Ferguson up until Thursday evening — the St. Louis County Police Department and the St. Louis Police Department — received training from Israeli security forces in recent years...."

The strategy of Big Pharma…

People were tired of eloquence; and the whole evangelist business was limited, since even the most ardent were not likely to be saved more than three or four times. But they could be healed constantly, and of the same disease.

Lewis, Sinclair. Elmer Gantry (Kindle Locations 4396-4397).

…spelled out in 1927 by Sinclair Lewis.

Might not help much

Israel Accused of Botched Assassination - The Daily Beast

"According to Hamas, an attempt by Israel to assassinate the group's military leader, Mohammed Deif, left the man's wife and infant son dead."

What, you thought it was just Missouri?

Lebanon to US: We need military aid, too - CSMonitor.com

"The US plans to send the Lebanese Army additional supplies of Hellfire missiles and other munitions and equipment…"

Grumpy Post Office guy nixes British fictional character on American stamps

Official quits stamp board, accuses Postal Service of ‘prostituting’ program after Harry Potter decision | Fox News

"His concern, and that of others on the committee, is that the cash-strapped Postal Service is using pop-culture icons to make money."

They make most money when people buy stamps and then don’t use them. This is called collecting. Harry Potter fans look like good collectors to some.


Are we now officially allied with Bashar al-Assad

Syrian jets hammer Islamic State stronghold - Middle East - Al Jazeera English

"Syrian regime forces have hammered Raqqa with more than two dozen air strikes, a monitoring group said…"

(Hint: Maybe, maybe not.)

Like only yesterday

The NYPD Bomb Squad takes on German spies during the early years of WWI: Dark Invasion. Now on the book list, it’s an easy read and quite a story.


A couple of books to add to your ever-expanding library…

Here’s one: The Tummy Trilogy three essays about food by Calvin Trillin, called “the Walt Whitman of American eats” by long-time NYTimes restaurant critic Craig Claiborne…

And here’s another: Shakespeare’s Bawdy by Eric Partridge, a handy glossary of Elizabethan smut. 

Feed your belly and your brain.

Didn't see that coming, did you, Bunky?

Kansas Man Shot In Butt From Half-Mile Away

"Officers said the shot was fired by a group of men, ages 18 to 20, who were shooting targets from the other side of a field, which separated them from the victim's home."

Finally, a solution to the literally/figuratively confusion

Why It's Not Shocking To See This 'Impeachment Now' Billboard with Giant Black Testicles | The Daily Banter

“…garment-rending mobs from the far-right to the far-left to all points in between appear to be blaming President Obama for almost literally everything…"
[Emphasis added]

Will there be an almost figuratively too?


Our pointless site of the day (or wait, have we already…?)

Either - A game of preference

But no

‘She’s around’: Believers found at Fort Knox Psychic and Paranormal Faire — Midcoast — Bangor Daily News — BDN Maine

"‘He heard a roar in the sky and saw nine objects flying westernly,’ Gardner told attendees. ‘It looked like a swarm of bees flying…'"

Where is (really) Memory Lane?

Road Names

A lot of that going around

Germany recorded John Kerry, Hillary Clinton phone calls 'by accident' | The Verge

"This is also isn't the first time a recent Secretary of State has been wiretapped by a close US ally: earlier this month it was revealed that Israel recorded phone calls by Kerry in 2013 as well."