Next time just stick to the shrinkwrap

Idaho teacher apologizes for killing, skinning rabbit in class

"The part-time teacher is a farmer who raises rabbits and other livestock for food and was asked to provide a lesson on animal slaughter and processing by students in a 10th-grade biology class he taught at a high school in the Nampa School District near Boise, said district spokeswoman Allison Westfall."

A suburb too far

The Unfinished Suburbs of America

"‘Since the post-2007 real estate bust, which hit many parts of the region severely, eroding subdivision roads now slice through farmland and open space, and 'spec' houses stand alone amid many rural and suburban landscapes,’ author Jim Holway wrote in a Lincoln Institute report about zombie subdivisions. "

We are at a loss for words (also names)

How liberal/conservative is your name?

It turns out, according to these guys, there are only 189 first names more conservative than “Ted."

How can that be, you ask.


Is the little robot a top secret spy?

Philae comet lander alien ‘cover-up’ conspiracy theories emerge | Science | The Guardian

"‘Whatever this object is, it did not ask to be found or scrutinised.’"


Philae goes to sleep on comet as batteries run out

Who needs Republicans? We can start our own wars, thank you.

Top US general in Iraq as campaign to expand - Middle East - Al Jazeera English

“It was Dempsey's first trip to Iraq since US President Barack Obama, alarmed by ISIL advances, ordered non-combatant American forces back into the country this summer, less than three years after withdrawing US troops from Iraq. The United States began carrying out air strikes in August."

Well, not exactly Shock and Awe. More like Kennedy in Vietnam, but still.

Is it is or is it ain't?

Over 50 Inches of Snow Blankets Wisconsin Town; Possible State Record | Weather Underground

"A weather observer in Gile, Wisconsin, technically part of the town of Montreal, measured 50.1 inches of snow from the morning of November 10 through early morning on November 14.…

"The massive snow accumulation was due to a combination of widespread snowfall from Winter Storm Astro earlier in the week, followed by several days of lake-effect snow as cold air poured over the relatively warm and still unfrozen waters of Lake Superior"

Montreal, I mean. Snow, apparently, it is.


Philae Lander, the little (220 lb.) space probe that's tweeting from Comet 67P, has 323,000 followers


Also, why not bring back the smallpox?

Scott Walker: Denying Health Care To Low-Income People Helps Them 'Live The American Dream' | ThinkProgress

"‘Beyond that, I just ask the basic question: Why is more people on Medicaid a good thing?’ he said."

Because they're running out of clean socks

Forty percent of new U.S. marriages are remarriages, report finds - The Washington Post

“[There is] a sharp disparity in the way men and women view marriages: most men are eager to marry a second time, while most women say one time was enough."

[Emphasis added]

No kidding

Pay more, get less

Here we have ketchup with no salt or ketchup with "reduced sugar," whatever that means, priced at $3.29 per bottle (and it's on sale):

And here we have. in the same store (and on the same shelf) the same size and same brand of ketchup with salt and (presumably unreduced) sugar for $1.89 per bottle. What a racket:

Drive on

Warren to the rescue - Seung Min Kim and John Bresnahan - POLITICO

"‘I think Senator Warren — as much, if not more, than any other senator – drives Wall Street crazy,’ Illinois Sen. Dick Durbin, the second-ranking Senate Democrat, said Thursday."

Glad we got that cleared up


Now they can do nothing even more

A stunning tidal wave of change in the Senate | New York Post

We’re here to help!

The bear is back

Vadym Prystaiko says West losing interest in Ukraine - Politics - CBC News

"Ambassador Prystaiko says it’s obvious why Canada and other coalition countries are willing to take on ISIS but not help Ukraine fight pro-Russian separatists in the country's east.

"'Everybody is afraid of Russia,' he says."

Leaving Afghanistan

Afghanistan opium production hits new high as foreign troops pack up - CSMonitor.com

"Around 89 percent of poppy production comes from provinces with large Taliban representation, according to the report from the UN’s Office on Drugs and Crime. Since losing power in 2001, the Taliban has waged war against the US-backed Afghan government. Now foreign combat troops are pulling out, leaving behind a training mission under NATO. "

Stupid is as stupid does

Obamacare architect says 'stupid' voters let bill pass. White House face-palm? - CSMonitor.com

"A few days ago the conservative group American Commitment posted a video clip of Gruber addressing a conference at the University of Pennsylvania in 2013. It shows Gruber saying ‘lack of transparency is a huge political advantage.’ He added that ‘the stupidity of the American voter . . . was really critical for the [ACA] to pass.’"

What's more, it tweets

Editorial: Far out! - NY Daily News

"Wizards based in Germany landed a rocket on a comet some 317 million miles away from Times Square. Traveling nonstop from here to there at the new New York City speed limit would take 528,000 days — or nearly 1,500 years. But Philae, the 220-pound robot probe that could, made it after just 10 years of travel (and another 15 years of planning)."


Oh oh, Republcan senator is confused

Senator: Obama’s Ebola quarantine policies ‘confusing’ - NY Daily News

"Sen. Richard Shelby (R-Ala.), the top Republican on the Senate Appropriations Committee, specifically noted the Pentagon’s 21-day isolation for personnel returning from West Africa."


Why it's best to just not work at all


Oh go ahead, tell us what you really think

And The Keystone XL Pipeline Fix Is In - Esquire

"Just to give you an illustration of how doomed and futile this whole exercise is, consider that the Democrats in the Senate, who still hold a damn majority, are going to try and bull-rush this incipient environmental catastrophe through the process during the lame-duck session, but they're going to hold over the president's nomination for Attorney General for the new, Joni Ernst model United States Senate. I am in no way a Naderite, but these dim bastards make it awfully tempting."

At least the NSA won't do this to you

Joe DiMaggio's letters to Marilyn Monroe to be auctioned off - NY Daily News

"The Yankees legend, clearly heartbroken by the movie star's TV announcement that she was filing for divorce in 1954, pleads with 'Mrs. Joe DiMaggio' to let him 'restore your confidence in me' after nine months of marriage. The letters go on the block in December."

Because government has been getting way too fast

Top GOP Senator Hints At Government Shutdown Fight Over Immigration

"This strategy is similar to the one that Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) persuaded Republicans to adopt in 2013 in a quest to defund Obamacare. It did not work: Obama held firm, the government shut down, and 16 days later Republicans backed down and agreed to fund Obamacare along with the rest of the federal government.


Conjuring up images of an old movie

BBC News - Ukraine crisis: Russian troops crossed border, Nato says

"'Russian tanks, Russian artillery, Russian air defence systems and Russian combat troops' were sighted, US Gen Philip Breedlove said."

"A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges"*

You Probably Had No Idea the US Military Is Obsessed With Giant Cakes | Mother Jones

*Benjamin Franklin


Is this a great country or what?

Urban Outfitters Selling 'Hillary Clinton Nutcracker' | The Weekly Standard

"'They don't make 'em like this anymore,' reads the store's product description. 'This deadstock collector's item is only available in a limited supply.'"

So try to be interesting, will you?

Your Gadgets May Soon Be Spying on Your Conversations | TIME

"Amazon’s newest product, the Echo personal assistant and speaker, is just the latest in a long line of tech that aims to make our lives easier by responding to voice instead of touch."


Editorial Cartoons by Jack Higgins of the Chicago Sun-Times

Dig they must

Dr. Jeff Masters' WunderBlog : Early-Season Winter Storm Blasts North Central U.S. | Weather Underground

"The heaviest snows from the storm will likely fall in North Central Wisconsin, with 8 - 16', and in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, where lake effect enhancement by Lake Superior will bring widespread snows over 12', with some areas seeing up to 24'."

It's might have been Mayflower Day (and Monday)

How Veterans Day Came to Be | TIME


Bellevue gets it right

Ebola-stricken doctor in NYC to leave hospital Tuesday - NY Daily News

A good story, well told

Lost in Shangri-La: A True Story of Survival, Adventure, and the Most Incredible Rescue Mission of World War II: Mitchell Zuckoff

New to our book list.

Block that prose!

Mendota Reporter A dose of Dibble too much for Trojans

"COAL CITY – It didn’t take long for Coal City’s Jack Dibble to introduce himself to the Mendota Trojan players and fans. The highly-touted running back barely let the last note come out of the Coal City band’s instruments after the National Anthem before he went to work."

What's in a name

Breitbart Attacks The Wrong Loretta Lynch for Purported Tie to WhiteWater

"Conservative news site Breitbart on Saturday criticized President Obama's nominee for attorney general, Loretta Lynch, over her supposed involvement in the Whitewater corruption investigation.

"There's just one hitch: the Loretta Lynch Obama nominated to his cabinet and the Loretta Lynch who served as one of Bill Clinton's defense attorneys during the Whitewater probe are two entirely different people, as Media Matters pointed out on Sunday."

Bad and badder

The Bears are finished | Chicago Sun-Times

"But this is where the Bears are. They’re stuck with a quarterback who is very, very average, a coach with all the motivational skills of a goalpost, a general manager who doesn’t see what the problem is and a family of owners that doesn’t have the foggiest idea about anything, including fogs."

Go high

Wet, frigid weather hits Upper Midwest

"The National Weather Service is warning that a ribbon of wet, frigid weather that pelted parts of Montana and the Dakotas with up to 3 inches of snow on Sunday will also crawl into Minnesota and Wisconsin early Monday. And keep your coats handy: the plunging temperatures are expected to linger, in some places dropping by as much as 40 degrees in a single day."

We’re not weather experts but we’re pretty sure that high-pressure symbol hovering over Manhattan is helping to keep some nasty, cold, wet weather away from us and over Wisconsin, where it belongs.

But can we keep the exploding cigars, at least?

AP NewsBreak: Agency may halt risky democracy work

"WASHINGTON (AP) — The U.S. global development agency is preparing internal rules that would effectively end risky undercover work in hostile countries, such as the once-secret 'Cuban Twitter' program it orchestrated, The Associated Press has learned."

(Exploding cigars, etc.)

Not that you should be, you know, freaked out

A look at some key federal cybersecurity breaches

"An Associated Press report this week finds that federal cybersecurity officials also face another challenge: Too often, government employees and contractors are undermining cyberdefenses by clicking malicious links, losing devices and data, or sharing information and passwords.

"Last year, security officials responded to a total of 228,700 cyberincidents involving federal agencies and contract partners."

Well that's OK then

A mere 2 million rats make New York City home, statistician says

“There may be 8 million stories in the Big Apple, but one of them - that New York City is home to 8 million rats, or one for every human resident - is probably a tall tale, according to research by a Columbia University statistician."

Give my regards to Broadway.


November sky

An extremely fortunate culinary development

Somehow I find myself possessing a fridge full of doggie bags, pizza scraps, and leftover jambalaya.

It’s bliss.

Hallowed inner void. Dude.

Chocolate Chip Mint: No Business, All Pleasure

"My protege and I are honored to have been allowed into the hallowed inner void."


Without question, a resounding success.

From our consumer desk

Never trust any packaging claim that begins “EZ."

Yes, Bunky, there is voter fraud, and this is how it's done

The Results Were Skewed Toward Republicans: A Response to Nate Silver | The BRAD BLOG

"Silver is much smarter than I when it comes to numbers; I'm happy to presume he has the basic math right. But he seems to have a blind spot in his presumption that the pre-election polls were wrong and the election results were right."

Just? Really?

Alaska storm pushing cold air toward lower US - NewsAdvance.com : Wire

"Its strongest winds had diminished considerably and were recorded at just 45 mph in Adak and Shemya Island, Kochevar said."

When the party got out of hand

Utah WR Kaelin Clay drops ball at 1, Oregon returns for TD - NY Daily News

"As Clay ran into the end zone he began his celebration prematurely…”

This one, I’m sorry I missed.