Hi, strange pipe-looking guy!

OK, there's something really weird about today

How the psychology of public bathrooms explains the ‘bathroom bills’ - The Washington Post

"Look at toilet graffiti, known among scholars as ‘latrinalia.' Men’s toilet scribblings are often graphic and tend to be sexual, aggressive, insulting and bigoted. Women’s tend to be longer, and more grammatical, romantic and supportive."

Getting into Merchant-of-Venice territory at the Tire Warehouse here

"My pockets are empty but my heart is full. Four of your best radials, please."

Do we really want to go there, New York Times? Really?

Crossing the Line: How Donald Trump Behaved With Women in Private - The New York Times

Looking at you, Thomas Jefferson. And a whole long list of other presidents, ending (ending?) with that other Jefferson, William.

It’s almost an American tradition.

As a public service…

Don’t worry, cranky nerds, you can get the old Instagram icon back | New York Post


Keep walking

If you thought you were having fun before…

Report: Bill Clinton Flew on Disgraced Donor's Jet 26 Times

"The logs showed Clinton took at least 26 flights, not 11 as first believed, aboard financier Jeffrey Epstein’s Boeing 727 jet between 2001 and 2003, the first two years he was out of office. The former president took at least five of those flights without his Secret Service detail, FoxNews.com reported.f"

Let's call this non-breaking news

Clinton Starts with a Decisive Advantage



Maybe by the time Trump's president we won't even need a wall

Obama administration plans new raids that would deport Central American children - LA Times

Thanks, Obama!

You might quibble about that word, "smart"…

How to Teach A Robot to Flirt | New Republic

"The search for an artificial intelligence smart enough to love."

Also, so's yer old man

Hillary Clinton Thinks the US Is Great. Why Don't You?

"Using a debating technique popular on playgrounds across the country -- the same one responsible for zingers like 'That's what you are, but what am I?' -- the Clinton campaign is producing baseball hats emblazoned with the words 'America Is Already Great.'"

Why not

Why a famous ape expert is looking forward to a Trump vs. Clinton matchup - The Washington Post

"'When Aristotle referred to man as a political animal, he could not know just how near the mark he was,' the primatologist, Frans de Waal had written. "

Maybe the Secret Service needs a cold shower

Clinton charity gave $2M to company owned by Bill’s ‘friend’ | New York Post

"The book describes one sun-drenched afternoon when agents took notice of the woman’s revealing attire.

'It was a warm day, and she was wearing a low-cut tank top, and as she leaned over, her breasts were very exposed,' an agent is quoted in the book.

'They appeared to be very perky and very new and full . . . There was no doubt in my mind they were enhanced.'"



And this week's Work Avoidance Award goes to…

OK, there's that

Harvard’s clueless illiberalism - The Washington Post

"Only Harvard could proclaim its opposition to arbitrary 'privilege and exclusion' while running a $38 billion hedge fund (a.k.a. the Harvard Endowment) and rejecting 95 percent of applicants — based on murky criteria rumored to include everything from SAT scores to alumni connections."

Some days

—maybe this is just me, probably not you—some days there’s a long list of stuff a person should do but a very short list—actually not a single thing—a person actually intends to get done. Like today.

That window over there is really dirty and this one’s not much better but I can still see through them, the sheets can stay on one more day, and I still have enough clean socks to last through the weekend. And it’s another beautiful sunny day and all the leaves popped out overnight.

You know that day? For a week or so the trees are all full of little green buds and sort of sprouty things and then one day, that day, you look up and there are leaves. Everywhere. On everything. Real leaves.

Today’s it.

This anti-establishment thing could go too far

A sobering alternative? Prohibition party back on the ticket this election | US news | The Guardian
"The Prohibition party got 270,000 votes in one presidential election, but that was in 1892. In 2012, the party made it on to the ballot in only one state and only 518 people voted for it."

Hang in there, Bernie

Bernie Sanders, the Zombie Candidate - POLITICO Magazine

"Sanders needs to think long and hard about the big cost of criticizing the now-prohibitive Democratic front-runner."

This guy, David Wade, a leftover from John Kerry’s losing presidential bid, doesn’t get to pick.

But in what universe?

0 to 400 mph in mere seconds: Welcome to the age of hyperloop

In this one we can’t even get the potholes fixed.

Update. Every time. Please.

Dozens of companies breached through SAP bug patched years ago | Ars Technica

"SAP fixed the vulnerability in 2010…."


I don't see it either

Hillary Clinton Is Not the Best Option to Match Up Against Donald Trump

"At the moment, I don't see the Clinton campaign as being quick enough on its feet to do what it needs to do.…Right now, it can't put away Bernie Sanders, who is the most predictable candidate ever to stand in two shoes."

Republicans despise everybody, more or less

Against Trump, Clinton should resist the temptation of triangulation - The Washington Post

" Now that Donald Trump has wiped out the last of his primary opponents, Republicans find themselves in the awkward position of being expected to take a stance on a presumptive nominee whom many of them despise."

And in this case what we’re talking about is not despising Donald Trump, it’s despising the voters who put him in the position he’s in. 

Yes, Bunky, you can still have your national mammalberger any way you like

Bison are our new national mammal. Here’s what you can and can’t do with them.

"The fuzzy, horned giant is a national symbol, standing aside the bald eagle, after President Obama signed a bill into law Monday making it our national mammal.”…

"But aside from the symbolism, not much will change about how we Americans interact with bison. The law has a provision saying as much: Native Americans can still hunt them, ranchers will still ranch them, zoos will still harbor them and, yes, people can still eat them."


Why do they never say Bernie's fghting a two-front battle?

Bernie Sanders Wins West Virginia, Prolonging Race With Hillary Clinton - The New York Times

"Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont captured the West Virginia primary on Tuesday, according to The Associated Press, forcing Hillary Clinton to continue a costly and distracting two-front battle: to lock down the Democratic nomination and to take on Donald J. Trump in the general election."

Emphasis mine.

The federal government makes my day

Feds probe mobile phone industry over the sad state of security updates | Ars Technica

Check this out:

"For years, critics have bemoaned the sad state of security updates available to hundreds of millions of owners of mobile devices running Google's Android operating system. Now, federal regulators are investigating whether Google, Apple, and the rest of the players in the mobile industry are doing everything they can to keep their customers safe."

Emphasis added, just so you can’t possibly miss the fact that after months of loudly yipping Apple keeps its customers too safe, they’re now worrying Apple doesn’t keep customers safe enough. Ditto Google and “the rest”—looking at you, Microsoft and that guy who built the Clintons’ mail server.

Don’t tell me we’re not having us some fun.

The Donald: Ushering in the golden age of op-ed pages?

Washington Post

And then there's the party of Kennedy, Johnson, and Clinton…

From playboy to president? Trump’s past crude sex talk collides with his White House bid. - The Washington Post

"Although Trump promises to be 'more presidential,' his past statements have contributed to high negative ratings from women. Democrats see Trump’s history as a potent weapon to use against him and other Republicans this fall."

Work avoidance in the news

There’s no trace of emails between Hillary and her tech aide | New York Post

"'It’s hard to believe that an IT staffer who set up Hillary Clinton’s reckless e-mail server never sent or received a single work-related e-mail in the four years he worked at the State Department,' said RNC spokesman Raj Shah. "

Austrians like their coffee, and this Austrian family just bought $1.35 billion worth of donuts to go with it

Krispy Kreme agrees to sweet buyout offer | New York Post


Unfettered markets not so much

Amazon shareholders want Jeff Bezos to stop selling Trump gear | New York Post


I never thought of Waukesha as a very diverting place myself, but…

Waukesha, Wisconsin's Great Lakes Water Diversion Request - The Atlantic

The Great Lakes are the largest source of surface freshwater in the world.

Up in the air over you (and everybody else, too)

Eyes on the earth

Sometimes ads are pretty cool.


It's worse!

Used to be you had at least enough time to get out the door before you thought of what you should have said. Now, it happens the instant you tap the send button.

(Who is THIS really?)


If a tree falls in the forest and you don't want to hear it…

Former Facebook Workers: We Routinely Suppressed Conservative News

You might think conservative news is just regular news expressed in fewer words but no, it’s news about conservative politicians (I’ve never figured out exactly what they’re trying to conserve except their own butts, but hey) or news from conservative sources or news about tax cuts, stuff like that. OK. So what.

But the other thing Facebook news workers were (or are) expected to ignore are stories that aren’t trending. Or, only popular news is to be allowed. The news, in other words, has to make news before it’s news.If nobody wants to hear it it doesn’t make a sound.

From the Onion

Teary-Eyed Student Loan Officers Proudly Watch As $200,000 Asset Graduates From College

“ 'It’s been absolutely amazing to watch our revenue stream grow right before our eyes,' said smiling collections officer Robin Black, explaining that, looking at the impressive figure now, she could hardly believe their future series of principal and interest payments was only $50,000 just four years ago."

The excellence of living in a small New England town

We’re building an addition to the courthouse. We've been at it for a year or so. It's nearly done.

The old courthouse is a rather undistinguished brick affair, old—old is the key feature—and overcrowded. Way overcrowded We’re the county seat. There’s a lot of business at the courthouse here. People drive from all around. The parking lot’s always crowded—or was.

The new addition is a big glass box, A big new glass box. Some people like that, some people don’t, some would rather just not say..

But everybody’s wondering about a new problem that’s just been noticed now that the work is nearing completion. They built the new addition on the parking lot.



Green &

The wait

Yeah, that too

Trump: Bush, Graham made a pledge - POLITICO

"'Jeb Bush signed a pledge — a binding pledge,' Trump said in a pre-taped interview on NBC News’ 'Meet the Press.' 'Lindsey Graham signed a binding pledge that they would endorse. That they would support and endorse. That's what it says. Now they're breaking. You know, that's a question of honor.'"

Right before North Carolina, wasn’t it? Although the word “binding” might be a bit of a stretch.

A pox on all their houses.

Some days it seems like a simple waste of energy to worry about Donald Trump

The Aspiring Novelist Who Became Obama’s Foreign-Policy Guru - The New York Times

"Rhodes’s innovative campaign to sell the Iran deal is likely to be a model for how future administrations explain foreign policy to Congress and the public. The way in which most Americans have heard the story of the Iran deal presented — that the Obama administration began seriously engaging with Iranian officials in 2013 in order to take advantage of a new political reality in Iran, which came about because of elections that brought moderates to power in that country — was largely manufactured for the purpose for selling the deal."

Or, for that matter, can humans and bears?

Can Bears and Humans Coexist? - The Atlantic

"In response to the killing, a local citizen started a petition to change Arizona Game and Fish’s policy for killing bears, and just about every big newspaper in the state wrote about it."

More than half a century ago, when I lived in Duluth, this question came up every Autumn like clockwork. Bears would come into town looking for food and the letters-to-the-editor page of the newspaper would reliably bloom into a passion of pro- and anti-bear shooting missives, never to be resolved. 

When I was in the fifth or sixth grade my Mom woke me up one night and took me down to the kitchen where there was a door to the outside—just a screen door, as it was still quite warm—and whispered to me, stand still and don’t make noise. On the other side of the door was a pretty big-looking bear, trying to get the top off our galvanized steel garbage can. 

Surely it would have been easier for the bear to just walk through the door but it persisted trying to prod the lid with its nose until finally, frustrated, it simply slapped a paw on the top and lifted it off that way. And had dinner.

The next morning I went out to look at the can lid and it had two neat punctures made by the bear’s claws.

There are all sorts of bear stories about Duluth. Don’t get me started.


Watch An Army Of Gummy Bears Come To A Sad And Sticky End

"'They are quite small and tasty but they come in large numbers and they are aiming for world domination,' Vuohensilta says."

The big one puts up a pretty good fight though.

Sure, that calculus thing is a little scary, but really?

Flight delayed when math mistaken for terrorism by passenger | Fox News

"American Airlines confirms that a woman expressed suspicions about University of Pennsylvania economics professor Guido Menzio."

Guam is missing

No, wait…there it is.

Ted Cruz Picks Up A Delegate In Guam

Also the Clintons won two-thirds of the D delegates, more or less—four to Bernie’s three.

The citizens of Guam—Guamians?—can’t vote in November anyway, which might be why it wasn’t on the front page. But it’s here, of course.

Let us be the first to welcome our new, highly-caffeinated overlords

Some New York Times Articles to Appear Free on Starbucks App - The New York Times

"In a statement, Howard Schultz, the chief executive of Starbucks, said, 'We see a future in which the Starbucks retail experience seamlessly extends to the mobile devices our millions of customers carry with them every day.'"

See also Chocolate Chip Mint: It's not Google you have to worry about, it's Starbucks.