Some days you just can't win

Futility Closet - An idler's miscellany of compendious amusements

"The U.S. Navy submarine USS Tang was sunk by her own torpedo. Patrolling off China in October 1944, she fired at a Japanese transport and the electric torpedo, its rudder jammed, curved to the left in a great circle.…"

Trump's campaign is built "on stoking mistrust and pitting American against American."…

…says Clinton as…

Clinton puts many Trump backers in 'basket of deplorables'
SF Gate

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. (AP) — Hillary Clinton verbally banished half of Donald Trump's backers to a "basket of deplorables," and the Republican presidential nominee quickly pounced, saying Saturday she had smeared many Americans and would pay a heavy political price. Read the full story

330 million Americans and these are the two we're choosing between?

Deplorables in the den of the Ds

Franklin County Fair demolition derby a smash hit
GREENFIELD — The intense smell of burnt rubber and billowing white smoke filled the air. Plastic fragments and entire bumpers lay strewn across the dirt, and the crowd whooped and hollered with each destructive collision.

Except when Donald Trump is running for office

Obama on 9/11 anniversary: We never give in to fear


Finally, the good drones

Google drones will drop Chipotle burritos on college students | New York Post

Tired of searching for that boring old sunken pirate treasure? We've got you covered!

The US Air Force may not have recovered all the nukes its lost
Business Insider

Retired Air Force Colonel and author of Breaking the Trust Barrier JV Venable told us the US Air Force has lost nuclear weapons. Follow BI Video: On Twitter Read the full story


An Excellence in Work Avoidance award goes to…

Guinness World Records has a new top dog

New York's Nathan's Famous hot dogs break the Guinness World Record for Longest Line of Hot Dogs. Angela Moore reports.

We relish Nathan's achievement.

Your moment of big parade

Hipper than thou

Let's send a box of fresh adjectives to the government

Seoul: North Korea's 5th nuke test 'fanatic recklessness'

SEOUL, South Korea (AP) - North Korea said it conducted a "higher level" nuclear test explosion on Friday that will allow it ...

Read the full story

"Reckless" is getting worn out.

Seven years? Have these guys not heard of Amazon Prime?

NASA's OSIRIS-REx blasts off on ambitious mission to visit asteroid, bring a piece home

NASA launched a spacecraft skyward Thursday evening on an ambitious seven-year voyage to intercept an asteroid more than 100 million miles from Earth, scoop up a piece of it and bring the sample home.


Bank "agrees" to pay fine, says Post

Wells Fargo fined $185 million for creating accounts its customers didn't ask for

The practice allegedly allowed bank employees to earn bonuses, while customers incurred fees for accounts they did not request.

"Consumers must be able to trust their banks," said the city attorney of Los Angeles. 

We are in awe.


You betcha: Let's crack down on welfare cheats

Inside a $10M scheme to steal federal funds intended to feed hungry children

At least 12 people in Arkansas have been charged with crimes related to USDA feeding programs.

…authorities say a small group deliberately defrauded the system and pocketed at least $10 million in federal funds intended to feed at-risk youths in a place with one of the highest rates of child hunger in the United States.


Bet you didn't know: Yet another FB giggle I report on Hillary's emails wasn't the only bomb that was quietly dropped over the recent holiday. 

A reminder of the permanent wars: Dozens of U.S. airstrikes in six countries

The startling flurry of attacks over Labor Day weekend highlights the endurance of militant threats.…

…not to mention what the Washington Post delicately describes as "the unexpected turns of Obama's foreign-policy record." https://goo.gl/v1BeCF

OK, those bombs were not quiet there but they certainly were here. And no matter what happens in November, this won't get better soon.


We've already talked about this, haven't we?

Seth Meyers compares the Hillary Clinton scandals to the Donald Trump scandals

Business Insider

And he decided it doesn't look so good for Trump.

Read the full story

This is dumb. But everybody (as you can see) is doing it. Maybe Clinton's people have figured out she's better off to just stay hidden and let other people campaign for her. Maybe they're right. 

But never mind. Clinton and Trump are not equivalent in the scandal department because Trump is a sleazy Manhattan real estate developer and Clinton is, or was a the critical time, the highest-ranking diplomat of the most powerful nation on earth, a Secretary of haha State, and recognized all around as a possible, even probable, future president. 

Trump, whatever he did, was simply doing what sleazy real estate developers do. Clinton was doing what a Secretary of State should not do, and her apologists know it. Or should.

And if you don't see the difference there, let me put it another way: Is your criterion for a president really less corrupt than Donald Trump?

It appears that Apple wants me to start swimming laps

Well. Fat chance.


They whaaat?

Team Hillary Lost Her Laptop in the Mail

The Daily Beast

A laptop containing a copy, or "archive," of the emails on Hillary Clinton's private server was apparently lost—in the postal mail—according to an FBI report released Friday. Along with it, a thumb drive that also contained an archive of Clinton's emails has been lost and is not in the FBI's possession. The Donald Trump campaign has already called for Clinton to be "locked up" for her carelessness handling sensitive information. The missing laptop and thumb drive raise a new possibility that Read the full story

If Hillary Clinton worked for your company, would you keep her?

No pleasing some bakers

Teen Cries Foul After Bakery Refuses To Make 'Trump 2016' Birthday Cake
The Huffington Post - US

Make America cake again! ... Read the full story

Don't worry, your head can take it

This foldable bike helmet is made from paper

28-year-old designer Isis Shiffer created a foldable, recyclable paper helmet that she hopes to sell through vending machines at bikeshare stations. Read the full story

Didn't we have fun

Goldman Sachs bans top partners from donating to Trump camp - NY Daily News

Goldman Sachs issued an internal memo earlier this month banning top employees from contributing to certain political campaigns, including the Trump-Pence ticket.

The Clinton-Kaine camp, however, is not out-of-bounds, according to the memo first obtained by Politico.


[Emphasis added. And deserved.]


Whoa, not so fast there, Bubba

Bill Clinton accuses Trump of using charity money to ‘pay off’ Pam Bondi - POLITICO

"Former President Bill Clinton defended his family’s foundation and took a shot at Donald Trump in the process Wednesday at a rally in Orlando, telling the crowd that Trump 'attacked my foundation. He uses his foundation's money to pay off your attorney general.'"

If it's equivalence you're looking for, what Trump did is more like what those guys who gave the Clinton foundation money did—tried to buy off a pol. Buy a little juice. 

Trump may be a sleaze but he wasn’t the Secretary of State.

And then there’s this gem…

“Saying you’re going to make America great again is like me saying I’d like to be 20 again.…Actually, I would. But I wouldn’t vote for anybody who promised to make me 20 again.”


Come on. You think we’re stupid, right?

Making tough choices

Bank robbery suspect: Incarceration beats living with wife

KANSAS CITY, Kan. (AP) - A 70-year-old man accused of robbing a bank in Kansas told investigators he would rather be imprisoned...

Read the full story

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Whoa! Run that by me again?

Obama Unlikely to Vow No First Use of Nuclear Weapons - The New York Times from TomDispatch's Tweet

And we're worried about Donald Trump?

Way to go there, you Badgers you

Longhorn Leap: Texas in AP Top 25 for 1st time under Strong

Wisconsin, which beat LSU 16-14 at Lambeau Field, matched a record for the best season debut in the Top 25 with its No. 10 ranking. 

Read the full story

What a guy

Congress returns; Ryan promises to keep government open

Read the full story

Time to play the lowering-expectations game

Five reasons Hillary could be blowing it - POLITICO

"No one — not the bullpen of the New York Mets, not the French army, not Wile E. Coyote, not even Al Gore — is better at squandering a commanding lead than the Queen of Coasting, Hillary Rodham Clinton."

And you know what's in your basement?

Clinton, aides consistently claim amnesia on secret server details | New York Post

"Hillary Clinton and her aides were unable to recall details of her secret private email server on 327 occasions, according to an analysis from the Republican National Committee."

No, money

Taylor Swift suspects Tom Hiddleston is using her for fame | Page Six

And in other Love news…

Woman mistakenly sets fire to car she thought was her ex’s | New York Post


Truth, justice and the American way

Let the fried dough flow - The Recorder

The Recorder GREENFIELD - Locally made fried dough and French fries will flow for another year at the Franklin County Fair now that concerns about strict fire code

Look! Here's somebody who's never heard of hair dryers!

Your manliness could be hurting the planet
'Male traits tend to conflict with this idea of maintaining a nice environment for other people.'

Researchers have known for decades that women tend to beat men on environmental metrics. They generally use less fuel and energy…


It all depends on what the meaning of the word "fix" is

Inside Bill Clinton's nearly $18 million job as 'honorary chancellor' of a for-profit college

The ex-president's contract showed how his charity work overlapped with the Clintons' private and public lives.


It's hit-and-fly in Missouri

Millions of bees in traffic accident near Kansas City

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) - Drivers along an interstate north of Kansas City were told to be on the lookout...bee experts said between 8 million and 11 million bees were in the truck. Some of the bees flew away from the accident scene.

Read the full story


One of the difficult things about not working…

… is that on holidays like today, you have to not work even more. It's tiring, let me tell you. But you can do it with enough practice and a little planning. Like, for example, I did not sign up for a trial subscription to Hulu so I don't need to watch any dead movies today. Also, I only read newspapers that took the day off.

At least I won't have much catching up to do tomorrow.

This week's award for outstanding achievement in work avoidance goes to…

RIGHT AT HOME: a peek inside the world of color forecasting
Earlier this year, in a Manhattan conference room littered with half-eaten lunches, water bottles, laptops and easels, a group of color forecasters from PPG Brands was wrapping up a week of work.


If you thought Donald Trump was scary…

Expert warns sex with robots could be dangerously good | New York Post


A little September

To go with your designer-ripped jeans

Stasi:  NY Daily News

"The rich are now paying Barney’s $650 a pair for sneakers that have been pre-dirtied, frayed-laced, banged up and some even duct-taped. That must cost extra, since those seem to be sold out."

(Photo at the link, about halfway down.)

Why paying writers by the word is a bad idea

Clinton needs to reboot with clean slate: Column

Although a confirmed, albeit rather passive Democrat, I am appalled at the frightening perils and forces the current presidential campaign has unleashed and the electoral choice Americans face. Read the full story

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