SPOILER ALERT: It breaks.
Here’s a link (it’s to Hulu, and possibly you can’t watch it without a subscription—if that’s so, sorry)—a link, I say, to a video of a roast, roasting. Just sitting there in an oven. Roasting. For about 50 minutes (which doesn’t seem like enough, so you might want to re-play it a time or two).
So, if you have a Hulu subscription and get tired of doing things—like, for example, watching football—click here.
[Noted by our Pacific Rim bureau.]
How often do you get the chance?
“The wilder minds of the internet have come up with their own theories, with some conspiracy theorists claiming it could be a massive UFO base or a portal to a mysterious underworld called the Hollow Earth."
"The cop learned that workers Nancy Michelle Kirkpatrick, 56, and Quanisha Dre’Shawn Fenn, 21, had 'got into an argument over a hard boiled egg.' During the squabble, Fenn said, Kirkpatrick called her a ‘bitch.' 'After that,' a cop reported, 'Ms. Fenn called her mother.'"
"We think that the shift from leisure-as-status to busyness-as-status may be linked to the development of knowledge-intensive economies…by telling others that we are busy and working all the time, we are implicitly suggesting that we are sought after, which enhances our perceived status."
"Hillary Clinton, Anthony Weiner and Tim Kaine have been named to GQ’s 'Least Influential People Of 2016’ list, the men’s magazine announced Thursday."
Hey, everybody else is doing a “best of” piece. Why not us?
…and gets featured in The Best American Infographics 2015.
Imagine the worst.
"Psychologists argue about the effect of the Santa myth on kids, with some saying it is benign and others saying it is harmful."
A couple of shrinky types named "Christopher Boyle, a psychologist at the University of Exeter, and Kathy McKay, a mental health researcher at Australia’s University of New England [How much confidence does that give you? New England is nowhere near Australia.], write that the myth of Santa Claus affects children in ways that may not have been considered — and that it can undermine the trust of children in their parents,” continues the Post.
The Huffington Post, somewhat predictably, is all tweaked out about it here.
We need better shrinks.
And this. (We mentioned it yesterday.)
…when I realized I can’t. Still, after all these years, once in a while I get a sort of vestigal hum in the back of my brain that could, possibly, be mistaken for music if it were only in some recognized key.
There’s one there right now—has been for nearly two weeks—that’s driving me wild-eyed raving NUTS. It sounds like a mangled song with the words “rags to riches” and “if you would only be” in it somewhere, and also it sounds really old.
I bet Tony Bennet would recognize it if he’s real. He can’t be real though, can he? I mean, I remember when he was real but that was really old too. He could be a hologram, I guess, but then if you were making a hologram why wouldn’t you…oh, never mind.
Maybe it’ll just go away.
"Trump has indicated that he hopes to resurrect the National Security Entry-Exit Registration System, which was created in the wake of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. It has not been used since 2011…"
So we had some kind of plan to keep track of people coming from and going to countries with active terrorist groups but we haven’t used it for five years? Somehow that seems a little bit not too smart. But it probably does avoid quite a bit of work, and I’m all for that.
"In the final, certified presidential-election tally, Hillary Clinton received more votes than any other losing candidate in U.S. history."
You already know, of course, that raw numbers like this are not necessarily meaningful because the population keeps growing at a pretty rapid clip. This past election season set all kind of records in the counting department, as I recall: Most votes for a Trump in a Republican primary, most votes for a Vermont socialist (go Bernie!), and so forth. Ir’s nice to have something to brag about even if it’s not the thing you wanted to brag about at the start.
Me, I like to add a couple cranks of fresh black pepper.
First, it rains all day today.
Then, for the next two days it freezes solid.
Then it warms up a little, just enough to put a thin layer of water on top of all the ice, making it even slipperier.
Finally, I run out of Spam and have to send for more. Or go get it myself. I hope it’s still on sale.
Oh wait! It might snow on Thursday too!
"That goes against Obama’s statement that the attacks ended after he spoke to Putin in September."
"The Celebration Bowl played between the champions of the Mid-Eastern Athletic Conference and the Southwestern Athletic Conference and is considered the HBCU national championship."
The sign, posted on the glass window of the police department, reads: “The Town is currently without the Police Department. In the case of an emergency, please call 911.”
…and you get a recording that says “check our web site."
Councilman Clements eventually ran out of his nine lives after he was defeated in a landslide in November’s election.
Mayor Ron White says as far as he’s concerned, Browser’s job title is now “Library Cat for Life.”
Sounds like time for a celebratory snooze to me.
Going out to shovel snow in the morning is a great way to build up an appetite for MORE BREAKFAST. And the way the snow’s coming down right now, I’m going to need MORE more breakfast before lunch.
In the parlance of newspaper writers this is a heavy snow, because to them, heavy means deep. This one is going to be pretty deep except, of course, on the sidewalk, which has already been shoveled once, soon twice, and as many more times as the eggs hold out. But it’s not heavy heavy, it’s actually light, because it’s cold.
And yes, there’s a lot of physics in that but maybe I’ll need a little nap before we talk about it.
SAN FRANCISCO — Yahoo, already reeling from its September disclosure that 500 million user accounts had been hacked in 2014, disclosed Wednesday that a different attack in 2013 compromised more than 1 billion accounts.
The two attacks are the largest known security breaches of one company’s computer network.NYTimes
From Reuters News:
Trump to pick former Texas Governor Perry as Energy Secretary
The choice, confirmed late on Monday by the official, adds to the list of oil drilling advocates skeptical about climate change who have been picked for senior positions in Trump's Cabinet. The selections have worried environmentalists but cheered an industry eager for expansion.
"The final round of the Brazilian championship was held Dec. 1, but a match against Atletico Mineiro was canceled because of the tragedy, the Mirror of the UK reported.
"But the Superior Court of Justice decided to punish both Chapecoense and Mineiro for failing to play their match, the paper reported."
Also, the crash could have been avoided if the pilot had landed someplace before it happened.
Don’t tell me that isn’t true.
Fortunately all this modern technology we’re fooling around with hasn’t improved my spelling one bit. Or (you wouldn’t expect this, would you?) my penmanship.There’s autocorrect, of course, but I routinely outplay that.
I think of this as a feature, not a bug. There’s no computing how much work I’ve avoided just by failing to write myself intelligible notes.
Back in the day, before the invention of Times New Roman, I had a little whiteboard magneted to the front of my fridge. On it was scrawled the word, Nwrdlls, like some obscure hieroglyphic unearthed from the desert sands. Noodles was what it meant, but by the time I figured that out I no longer needed nwrdlls so I erased it and went on with my life. One trip to the grocery store saved.
The whiteboard turned out to be unnecessary; I can do the same thing on my phone any time or the day or night. One of the items currently on my todo list is Block the for mail. I’m marking it complete right now, and taking a nap.
See how easy?
"We want to make sure we brief Congress and relevant stakeholders, like possibly state administrators who actually operationalize the elections," White House spokesman Eric Schultz told reporters Friday.
"The president-elect, who confounded critics during the campaign by saying there was no need to raise or spend $1 billion or more, ended up making do with $600 million."
It's "Bundespraesidentenstichwahlwiederholungsverschiebung," or "postponement of the repeat of the runoff of the presidential election."
Piketty: half of Americans are "shut off from economic growth" - CBS News
In 1980, income for the top 1 percent of adults stood at 27 times that of the bottom half. In dollar terms, the richest 1 percent made $428,000 adjusted for 2014 dollars, compared with about $16,000 for the bottom half. By 2014, the richest Americans made 81 times that of the bottom half, or about $1.3 million to $16,000 per year.
Many of these #PearlHarbor75 profiles were created with interviews submitted to the Veterans History Project. The project collects, preserves, and makes accessible the personal accounts of American war Veterans so that future generations may hear directly from veterans and better understand the realities of war. Find out more at . Find out more about #PearlHarbor75 at .
Greenfield baby Jesus doll smashed, donkey figure damaged
The statue was also stolen in the late 1990s, recovered by police, then stolen again in 2001. It was damaged about four years ago when someone cut the leg off to thwart a bicycle lock, the archives show.
Deck the ... Look out! Woman tries to run over decorating ex
CONNELLSVILLE, Pa. (AP) — State police say holiday music was blaring from a Pennsylvania woman's car ...
…when Smith yelled "Merry Christmas" and made several passes through his yard.
Gained weight? No sex? Cut your hair? It's all Trump's fault | New York Post
When questioned by Lino Lakes, Minn., police, who found an empty bottle of vodka in her purse, Lundberg was unable to spell her name but told cops, "I am upset over the outcome of the election and you should let me go home."
Sofía Vergara sued by her own embryos | Page Six
The new lawsuit contends that Emma and Isabella, by not being born, have been deprived of an inheritance from a trust that has been created for them in the Louisiana, according to sources.
Made Solid told BuzzFeed News that they called the product "Wrapped Stone" and emphasized that "it's not a joke." They described them as "really cool, labor intensive objects that are used as everything from paperweights to doorstops to home/display accents."
Also, they are pretty cheap to feed.
China appeals to US to stop disrupting acquisitions
BEIJING (AP) — China urged Washington on Monday to stop disrupting its foreign corporate acquisitions…
Chinese companies have made a multibillion-dollar string of acquisitions in Europe to obtain technology and brands including Club Med, Pirelli tires and Volvo Cars.
Maybe they could buy Trump's wall. They're into walls, aren't they? They could have a matched set.
…it’s getting more and more difficult to tell what's ”normal."
Here we are going steady with China and Taiwan comes along and throws herself at him, Trump, like some kind of floozie calls him right up and he answers the phone.
The newspaper finds out and blabs and now China knows and we just have to hope she doesn’t want to break up because it’s too late to get another date to the prom.
We will be ruined.
Museum to auction wax figures of presidents, first ladies
GETTYSBURG, Pa. (AP) — A Gettysburg wax museum that features the likeness of every U.S. president and...
"It was unclear whether Team Trump was signaling a broad change in US policy or if the call was an unintentional blunder."
Post reports it’s "the first time a US president has spoken with a Taiwanese counterpart since 1979,” oh my.
“Love this. Fantastic,” a user wrote in the comments section. “Great to see kids loving something other than a computer.”
But it’s always about the computer in the end.
Maybe this will keep her off the list for that VA job.
To help get your weekend started, here are a few of the answers:
Chicago Sun-Times The 1-10 49ers and 2-9 Bears have a combined winning percentage of .136. The rest of the conference: .555. • The Bears and 49ers have been outscored by 202 points on aggregate..…
The 49ers (10) and Bears (three) have the two longest active losing streaks in the NFC.
There will be a pop quiz on Sunday.
“It’s not just Trump security, it’s everything from bike lanes to rush-hour traffic to new bus lanes…”
Imagine our despair.
Loons and lager, ducks on draft: Birders, brewers form flock
SABATTUS, Maine (AP) — In the worlds of birders and craft beer lovers, there's a new paradigm…
Tours and events aimed at attracting both beer nerds and bird enthusiasts are popping up all over the country, attracting bearded microbrew lovers, field-guide-wielding bird buffs and folks with a passion for both suds and sparrows. Bird-and-beer happenings are taking place from Los Angeles to Minneapolis to Hampton, New Hampshire.
Don't eat the money.
Tallow tensions: Vegans want 'fat-free' UK 5-pound bank note
LONDON (AP) — The Bank of England's new plastic 5-pound note is stronger, cleaner and safer...
The Bank of England confirmed on Twitter that the notes contain "a trace of a substance known as tallow" — a rendered form of animal fat, processed from suet, which is sometimes used in soaps and candles.
Fitness wearables manufacturer Fitbit is close to buying smartwatch maker Pebble, according to The Information — news that has since been independently confirmed by The Verge.…
'Tis the season when all the brands put on their red and green singlets and crowd into a no-holds-barred cage match to determine who is the champion of goddamn heartfelt spiritually.
…you might, or then again you quite possibly might not, like his most recent lengthy (900 pages or so) tome, Seveneves. It’s about some humans who spend 5,000 years in space and some others who, well, don’t.
I’m not listing it over there on the right because I’m a little bit ambivalent about it myself—it’s good, but not Stephenson good, IMO. But if you’re a space geek, all into orbital navigation and such, or a genetics nerd, or just a glutton for reading, you might want to give it a look. The Kindle version of the book, which appears to be on sale riight now for three bucks (hey, let’s recount this), is here.
There’s practically nothing left any more in my News app between the Kardashians and TRUMP. And mostly TRUMP. This morning, for example, from Esquire…
No kidding. TRUMP has a new baseball cap that’s nothing like Abe’s stovepipe or Teddy’s Rough Rider chapeau. It features [spoiler alert] a really ugly font.
We can feel the pain—we can—but not for 1,900 words.
Meanwhile Pirelli came out with their 2017 calendar; it has some really nice pictures which you can look at here. That’s from Êsquire too, so maybe we’ll call this one a draw.
And speaking of draws (and news), here’s something you might not know. In the recently concluded World Series between the Chicagos and the Clevelands both teams scored exactly the same number of runs: 27. So if we were counting runs and not games, the series would be a tie and the Chicagos would have to give their flag back. In fact, if we counted runs instead of games in the World Series it would be possible for one team to run up the score in one game so far, winning, say, by seven or eight points, that the other team could win all the other games and still lose.
"And here we come to the word in the English language that I now most dread: “Upgrade.”"
The Washington Post
Two episodes of the classic TV show mirror this year's race in unexpected ways — with a twist. Read the full story
I suppose this analogy would make Hillary the bat but, hey, nothing's perfect.
Microsoft brings Solitaire to iOS and Android - The Verge
"There is, of course, one small caveat to this, which is that the fat in cheese could cancel out the effects…"
YummYou Natural Cosmetics
Delikatesy&Frykasy has developed the packaging for YummYou, a line of all natural cosmetics that are good for your body and so gentle, they're actually edible, too.…The products have outstanding nourishing and health-promoting properties as well as a great taste.
Shared from Apple News
Don't mess with the coconut crab, one of the strongest pinchers on land
Los Angeles Times Coconut crabs might be the heavyweight champions of all crustaceans. The largest land-dwelling crab on Earth, Birgus latro can lift about 66 pounds with its pincers and can pinch with about 750 pounds of force.…
Police: Gambler's bid to double down at bank turns into bust
CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) —
Investigators say Johnson had been at the Mardi Gras Casino in Nitro for hours on Aug. 2 when he put down a $25 chip to hold his spot. That's when police say Johnson drove 13 miles to a Charleston bank, gave tellers a note saying he had a bomb and a weapon and robbed it...
…and Black Friday is right now, darlin’, so you’d better get it together. Maybe we should just have a Black Week or, oh no…
It’s already too late and Trump hasn’t even been sworn in yet.
From one of those clickbait sites I ran across this morning…
"Many people believe that it is impossible to wash a mattress. However you can actually use vodka to disinfect it. Just put it in a spray bottle and apply a light layer to your mattress, then let it dry."
It might not actually work but you won’t care.
Sweden stop sale of New Zealand beer out of explosion fear
COPENHAGEN, Denmark (AP) — Sales of a New Zealand-produced beer have started with a bang in Sweden. And ended.…
On its Website, Systembolaget described Aro Noir as have a "malty, roasted aroma with hints of pumpernickel bread, coffee, prunes, cocoa, tobacco and licorice."
"The Democratic Party has a history that it's been about working Americans. We cannot be a party of the East Coast, West Coast and metropolitan areas."
The theory helps to explain the great mysteries of the cosmos and also answers why we have yet to find intelligent life beyond our planet, Professor Caleb Scharf says.
This could be the answer to every question on the physics exam.
Teen Birthrate in Rural Areas Across the U.S. Is Over 60 Percent Higher Than in Cities
Science of Us
A new Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report examines teen birthrates across the U.S. …
The report's authors didn't explain why the teen birthrates were lower in urban areas, the Los Angeles Times noted. They also didn't examine abortion rates during the same time frame, nor did they look into the sex-education programs offered at schools in the different counties.
NYC construction boss used Chinese workers for 'slave labor' - NY Daily News
A Chinese national accused by the feds of using "slave" laborers to perform construction work in New York and Long Island is the nephew of a billionaire who has come under FBI scrutiny for donations to the Clinton Foundation.
When pigs fly: Porcine parts, presumably, scatter on highway
SARASOTA, Fla. (AP) - Lt. Gregory Bueno of the Florida Highway Patrol said Wednesday that the two affected lanes were closed nearly two hours while emergency crews mopped up. He said by phone: "We had a mess, basically. The smell was very strong."
Trump remains frighteningly behind in cybersecurity
Network World As we move into 2017, cybersecurity concerns continue to escalate. This past few months, we've seen some scary incidents, such as the Oct. 21 distributed denial of service (DDoS) attack on the DNS services at Dyn that used IoT devices like home routers ...…
OK, so Trump doesn't know cybersecurity, but no one who voted for him seemed to care.
See what I mean?
An Oklahoma man was arrested on Saturday after leading police on a 208 mph chase.…
The driver then pulled over, dropped his keys out of the window, and was arrested and later charged with reckless driving and felony eluding.
I am all for reloading felonies. But I didn't know there was a speed limit in Oklahoma.
Hungary mulls staying on daylight saving time all year round
BUDAPEST, Hungary (AP) - A Hungarian parliament committee has given its initial, unanimous approval for Hungary to remain in ...
Why don't we all just rotate time zones one not sure the east. Or west. Whichever. I never could quite get that straight. But this is a terrific idea.
…it would be safe to throw away that little “information for voters” booklet they sent around. But it wasn’t, quite yet. Not until I read the part about a new law that’s not really a law yet, but will be by 2022 if enough people vote for it, which they did, about being nice to pigs. It turns out, as of 2022, people in this state will not be allowed to eat pigs they’ve been mean to. Unless the pig is on a pizza or in soup. Or, presumably, in a can marked SPAM.
Whew. Lucky about the SPAM.
Also you can still haul your pig around in a truck if you’re taking it to the county fair. And chickens—you have to be nice to the chickens if you want to eat the eggs. Otherwise you’ll be breaking the law.
Maybe I should cut out that page and keep it.
The Washington Post
A series of intelligence briefings will deal with covert actions, contingency plans for using nuclear weapons and even the names of major foreign agents.
…let me just say, be careful what you wish for.
And for the record, I’m agin’ it, Maude.
Also for the record, currently, with Michigan and New Hampshire still outstanding but essentially tied, Clinton leads in the popular vote by 395,050 votes (according to Politico 11/13)—out of about 121,000,000 votes cast. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s within the margin of counting error.
…I am shocked, shocked, by the notion that someone would attempt to lead our noble press corps astray by proffering a gift or, worse, praise. Just imagine.
Squirrels, after working on the problem all summer, have finally figured out how to get onto the neighbor’s bird feeder. The secret is climbing 20 or 25 feet straight up a string that, from my kitchen window, looks about as thick as a fishing line. The string’s purpose is to keep the feeder, which hangs from a tree limb on an even longer (and somewhat sturdier) string, from swinging too much in the wind.
Of course, having a squirrel hanging onto the string might make the system even more stable, so maybe this is a win-win. For everybody but the birds.
…of all the hyperventilation now consuming the tech press (Trump! OMG!) is that while Russian hackers are now terrifyingly evil Edward Snowden, a hacker in Russia, is a privacy activist. You could never just make that stuff up.
Or that the malevolent Rudolph Giuliani may soon be eavesdropping on your every pizza order, or that two "smaller tech companies in San Francisco” are, according to Buzzfeed, thinking about moving out of the country (OMG!), possibly (we’re just saying here) to whatever foreign clime all those celebrities are decamping for. We are distressed.
There is, however, some good advice embedded in all the gibberish, some of which you can read about here. Do. No reason the Russian hackers (or anybody else) should know you ordered the pepperoni.
"It’s time to stop acting like we’re living through the Arab Spring. The protesters in the streets over Donald Trump’s victory aren’t dissidents rising up to demand free elections. They’re rising up to oppose a free election."
Trump win puts U.S.-Russia hostility on hold - but for how long?
After years of rising U.S.-Russia tensions over Ukraine, Syria, cyber attacks and nuclear arms control, Donald Trump's election as U.S. president may offer a narrow window to repair relations as he and Russian President Vladimir Putin size up each other. Read the full story
Dude, if we don't keep that U.S.-Russia hostility going, what will we have left to believe in?
"The Klan won last night. White nationalists. Sexists, racists and buffoons."
"Shervin Pishevar and Dave Morin are already (half-jokingly?) calling for California’s secession. And Pishevar is looking to fund the movement."