In a day of bad news all around…

Afghan translators stranded as passports become casualty of US Embassy capture

Evacuating people such as Massih may require the U.S. to get permission from the new Taliban government and to provide financial aid to neighboring countries in exchange for opening their borders to people without passports, lawyers and advocates told Stars and Stripes.

…a flap about Australian submarines, The FDA's apparent quashing a big part of the COVID booster plan, the Pentagon announcing it blew up the wrong bunch of Afghans near the Kabul airport…this is by no means the least of it.

This is shameful. It needs to be fixed.

In the first place, WHAT? And also, WHAAT?

Dutch are world’s tallest people – but they’re shrinking, study shows

The finding by the Centraal Bureau voor de Statistiek (CBS), a government institution, means the Netherlands maintains its lofty spot, which it has held since 1958, excusing a blip in 1967 when the men born that year came in at a miserable second place in the rankings.

This ought to give you a little shiver

Ransomware encrypts South Africa's entire Dept of Justice network

The incident happened on September 6 and the department activated the contingency plan for such events to ensure the continuation of some activity in the country.

[My emphasis] 

First things first

UMass football coach Walt Bell: ‘I hope desperately we have a student tailgate next week’

UMass lost its season opener to Boston College, 45-28.

 

Digital donuts to go

Dunkin’ opens first ‘digital-only’ restaurant in Boston

Dunkin’ claims that placing orders without employee interaction will “create an efficient, more convenient, and frictionless experience” for customers on-the-go. There is no dining room at the new store.

"Frictionless" is the new word for do-it-yourself. Which is fine with me, but I know several people who are suffering friction deprivation. For conversational reasons, apparently, they prefer an analog donut world. 

Second Amendment! Woohoo!

Texas woman uses rifle to shoot, kill alleged 'Peeping Tom' caught peering into bedroom window

If they can't find guys to work at the local fast-food joint, how will they…

No bull: Scientists potty train cows to use ‘MooLoo’

It’s no bull. Scientists put the task to the test and 11 out of 16 cows learned to use the “MooLoo” when they had to go.

…I was gonna say find guys to write headlines like this, But… 

When a bad day is not the worst

Massachusetts National Guard to help with busing students

On the first day of school in Boston last Thursday, school officials reported that more than 1,200 buses ran late and more than 40% did not make it to school in time for the opening bell.

Still, officials said, it was the the district’s best performance for busing students to school on time for the first day of school in some six years.

Seeing darkly

Sunglasses Have Terms of Service Agreements Now, Thanks to Facebook

How Facebook intends to enforce what it believes to be privacy-protecting features on a pair of sunglasses that can be thwarted with a piece of tape remains to be seen, but the mere concept of trying to control how people modify their sunglasses is almost as laughable as the glasses themselves.

If Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires…

 …Chicago is the graveyard of football coaches. Still, the Chicago Bears—a team that's been rebuilding since the mid-1980's—is this morning tied for first place in its NFC North division.

Every team in the division lost yesterday, and is currently 0-1.

Bear down.

Separate cells?

Couple Gets Six Months In Jail For Public Sex

Adams--who lives about a mile from where he was collared--told the deputy that he and Gilbert were frolicking outdoors “due to them not having any other place to go.”

[And here's a miscellaneous random thought: Six months is a longer sentence than what's been handed out to a number of the "tourists" charged with "illegal parading" inside the U.S. Capitol in January.]

On the tire store

The confidence game works on zebras too

Herd of zebras still on the loose in Maryland: ‘They’re just too fast!’

“We do have a feeding station set up, and we’re winning their confidence. They are eating there every morning between 2am and 4am.”…

Authorities are planning to attract the striped beasts with food, tranquilize them and return them to the farm…

Reminder: There is no free lunch.