What I’m going to be walking around as if I don’t get some laundry done tomorrow.
SYN: eyesore
That too.
But hey, it’s still today.
6.14.2014
Define "dishabille"
OK, but maybe we get a few peanuts?
Congress Hatches Plan To Reward Corporate Tax Evaders Because Why Not? | The Daily Banter
"When you picture an ‘offshore holiday,’ you might think of white sand beaches, gentle breezes, turquoise waves, and rum-based drinks served in coconut shells.
"However, when Congress conjures up an ‘offshore holiday,’…"
There'll always be an England
See shoplifter stashing lobster in trousers to swap for drugs - or a Chinese meal - Mirror Online
"According to detectives, Nichole Reed entered the convenience store in DeLand, Florida, and placed seven lobster tails in the front of her pants."
OK, at least it was just the tails.
Have you ever seen a guy in a drove?
Iraqi men volunteer in droves to stop al Qaeda-inspired militants | New York Post
I kind of imagine it looks like a cross between a golf cart and one of those bumper cars people crash around in at amusement parks. Three wheels, painted beige. But I’ve never seen a picture of one.
6.13.2014
On…wait for it…negotiating with terrorists
Sorting Murky Issues on the POW Swap
"All five of the detainees in the exchange [for the release of the now-famous Sgt. Bergdahl] were members of the Afghan Taliban. And the Afghan Taliban is not on the State Department’s list of foreign terrorist organizations.
"In fact, the U.S. government had been trying for years to include the Afghan Taliban as part of the political reconciliation plan for Afghanistan. So if members of the Afghan Taliban are terrorists, the U.S. government had been negotiating with them for years. "
I (possibly) don't believe (not proven) a word of it (unlikely)
Is the Earth going to be cooked today, Friday the 13th? | New York Post
"Three major solar flares which have been on the sun’s surface for days could send a shockwave through Earth on Friday, knocking out mobile phone satellites (unlikely), breaking mirrors (not proven) and probably traveling under ladders (possible)."
Bring back Petraeus (but get him a better email account)
John McCain discusses Iraq with Navy officers | Army Times | armytimes.com
"U.S. Sen. John McCain said Thursday that the military and political leaders who helped win the war in Iraq should be brought back to figure out how to deal with the resurgence of militants there."
Plus, with your head?
Why Soccer Is Un-American - Stephen H. Webb - POLITICO Magazine
"Americans are an optimistic people. We like scoring too much to enjoy a game that is more about preventing success than achieving it."
Don't say we never told you anything useful
Why Friday the 13th is known as a day of bad luck
"In fact, fear of Friday the 13th has a name: paraskevidekatriaphobics."
Done freaking out about the NSA? Good! Have we got just the thing for you!
Lost and Found | Gadget Lab | WIRED
"In fact, part of the promise of Tile is that as more people adopt it, everyone will get more ubiquitous location tracking. Even if there aren’t other Tile users near your item, the app automatically records where your Tile was when it was last in range."
No shortage of readers for six month-old copies of People
OUTSIDE THE VA, WAITS FOR DOCTORS CAN VARY WIDELY
"There are no national statistics. But Merritt Hawkins' survey, released earlier this year, illustrates there's variation around the country when it comes to choosing a new physician."The longest waits overall were in Boston - an average of 45.4 days - while Dallas had the shortest at 10.2 days. But the kind of doctor you need makes a difference, the survey found."
Game on
News from The Associated Press
"LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling's team of lawyers has hired four private investigation firms to dig up dirt on the NBA's former and current commissioners and its 29 other owners, said a person familiar with Sterling's legal strategy."
We could be looking at the best off-season ever.
6.12.2014
Some excellent work avoidance opportunites here…
…at the Onion’s brand new send-up of all things listicle: Clickhole.
(Also on our fabulous Work Avoidance List.)
Surveillance! Drones! Eeek!
News from The Associated Press
"The Iraqi government has been asking for more than a year for surveillance and armed drones to combat a Sunni insurgency that has gained strength from battlefield successes in neighboring Syria."
Don't wait! Freak out now!
Got goose bumps? Friday 13th to coincide with full moon - NY Daily News
"The last time the moon was full on a Friday the 13th was Oct. 13, 2000. And that day was unlucky indeed."
Wait, I thought these guys were gone
Al Qaeda-linked group vows to sack Baghdad | New York Post
"The White House said Wednesday that the United States was ‘deeply concerned’ about the Islamic State’s continued aggression."
We like to blame autocorrect
In A Rare Act Of Bipartisan Speed, Senate Passes VA Reforms : NPR
"But, yeah, this discussion in the House and the Senate has been mostly free of the sort of partisan ranker we just heard earlier in the program."
Bankruptcy card starting to look a little worn
LAWYERS: GM SEEKS BANKRUPTCY SHIELD FROM LAWSUIT
"A federal bankruptcy judge in New York ruled in 2009 that the new GM is shielded from claims stemming from cars made before the company emerged from bankruptcy protection. Instead, the claims go against the old GM, which has limited assets. The judge now is being asked to decide if he will allow claims against the new company."
Headline of the hour
CAR DETOUR LETS TOADS CROSS ROAD WITHOUT CROAKING
"The cycle starts in early spring when adult toads, which can fit in the palm of your hand, emerge from the woods to breed.…Their offspring - each about the size of a raisin - make the journey in reverse about six weeks later."
6.11.2014
Go ahead, tell us what you really think
Trump Tower letters short on taste but widely offensive: Steinberg - Chicago Sun-Times
"Self-flummery is New York-ish. And while in the distant past, New Yorkers did well in Chicago — our first mayor, William B. Ogden, was a New York lawyer — generally New York has a way of failing in Chicago. Nathan’s Hot Dogs? Failed. The Limelight nightclub? Failed. Howard Stern? Failed. Chicagoans don’t like to wait behind velvet ropes. Not a lot of helicopter service or even town car service here. Or doormen for that matter. We can open our own doors, and generally avoid the kind of grotesque display that passes for status in the scramble up the greasy pole that is Manhattan."
Reds
"The result is ‘The Beautiful Gene,’ a catalog of reds published by Fabrica, where people of the MC1R gene gaze directly back at you, almost in indictment, as though they know they’re being regarded like creatures in a zoo or steaks in a supermarket, and know that, given a choice, you would take a pass on their genetic schema for a more conventional sort — a blond, a brunette; brown eyes, tall and dark."
OK, Politico, I give up
 |
politico #Breaking: Rep. Eric Cantor will step down as majority leader, ending a meteoric 13-year Congressional career. 6/11/14, 1:01 PM |
What’s meteoric about a 13-year Congressional career?
Hang in there, Feedly
Feedly, a cloud-based newsreader that succeeded the now-defunct Google Reader, has been under a denial-of-service attack all day. The attackers are demanding a ransom from the operators of Feedly. Which seems sort of dumb since, although it does offer a paid premium option, Feedly is basically a free service. But then, I guess the people behind this figure they still might pay. I say, don't. Hang in there, Feedly, as long as it takes. We miss you, but we'll wait.
UPDATE from Feedly blog.
Yeah, it's too cold for this kind of thing in Michigan
"‘Wait a minute: Has this gentleman talked to anybody? Because this is probably not going to fly.’"
Everybody wants to go to Arizona
"‘As word continues to grow throughout other countries that America’s borders are open; if you get to our border you will be welcomed, we expect the influx that is already a crisis level … will continue,’ Andrew Wilder, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer’s communications chief, told the Arizona Star, echoing a similar sentiment."
Huh?
Want to Be a Trend Forecaster When You Grow Up?
Turns out trend forecasting is now officially, at least in some quarters, a career. Or at least a job. There are even agencies—companies—devoted to the business of forecasting trends. So if you are worried that you might be someday delighted by an unforeseen happening—an unexpected event—you can relax. No need to worry. Just wait.
If you want to be even geekier than you already are…
This woman has made her own bad password dress...
"Disappointingly for pun-writers, she isn’t wearing any passwords on her sleeve."But if you want to purchase Cranor’s fabric design for your own creations she has made it available via Spoonflower. (You can choose versions with or without the naughty words that some people choose as their passwords)"
An encouraging word, at that
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no sense being a damn fool about it. - W.C. Fields"
Do not try this at home
Woman unscathed after being ran over by a train
"Despite being extremely lucky. Ms. Horne’s good fortune did not extend to her legal status as she was charged with public intoxication and disorderly conduct as a result of her inopportune nap. "
The woes of the day
Feedly refuses to give in to blackmail, gets hit by DDoS attack
"Not only has Evernote been struck by a DoS attack overnight, but now RSS news aggregator Feedly reports that its cloud-based service is suffering from a distributed denial-of-service attack that could impact users’ ability to catch up with the latest updates from their favourite websites."
On Hillary, et. al., being "dead broke"
Clintons’ pathetic tale of woe is an insult to working Americans | New York Post
"I mean, what with the presidential pension, the Arkansas governor’s pension, my paycheck from the gummint, add ’em up and that’s only 400K. I mean, thank the Lord for the Medicaid! "
And don't even think about a refund
Exhausted and Bereft, Iraqi Soldiers Quit Fight - NYTimes.com
"American officials who had asserted that the $14 billion that the United States had spent on the Iraqi security forces would prepare them to safeguard the country after American troops left were forced to ponder images from Mosul of militants parading around captured Humvees."
6.10.2014
More fun in Florida
"Two condiment-armed 19-year-olds squared off against each other last night in the Florida apartment they share, a confrontation that ended with them drenched in ketchup and maple syrup, according to police."
What is this, X-ray porn?
Doctor could lose license for sexting during surgery | New York Post
Also "improperly accessed medical-record imaging for sexual gratification."
No, not all-Hillary all the time
The Weekly Standard | A Weekly Conservative Magazine and Blog of News and Opinion.
Sixteen stories on the front page of the (web) Weekly Standard at the moment and only eight of them are about Hillary. So that’s not obsessive, right?
Seven of the other eight are about Bergdahl, in case you’re keeping score.
Those yellow ribbons were getting a little scruffy-looking anyway
Polls: Plurality against Bergdahl deal - Kendall Breitman - POLITICO.com
"Among Republicans, 48 percent felt that the U.S. was not obligated to bring Bergdahl home because he may have left his post."
OK, so not everybody went to Harvard Law
Man tries to defend himself after beating two cops with a padlock | New York Post
"When Jonathan Truluck, 34, first took the stand in Brooklyn Supreme Court Monday he gave a rambling speech that included gems like, ‘One, I’m taking the stand to confirm my guilt — innocence, rather,’ and, ‘Two, self-defense is indeed a law,’ finishing with, ‘Seven, please review all the facts.’"
How many shopping days until Christmas?
Army-licensed action figures, minus the firepower, target preschoolers | Army Times | armytimes.com
"Lil’ Troops, a new line of action figures geared toward the pre-GI Joe age group, debuted in Army exchanges last month and are now for sale via at least one major online retailer. Unlike their Real American Hero competition, the little fellas are licensed by the Army…"
When you just can't spend it fast enough
PEOPLE HIRING PHOTOGRAPHERS TO SHOOT EVERYDAY LIFE
"'Visiting (or living) in New York City is a big deal and we want your Facebook friends to be VERY jealous.'"
6.09.2014
Where is Thursday Next when we need her?
Cheese Underground: Game Changer: FDA Rules No Wooden Boards in Cheese Aging
"A sense of disbelief and distress is quickly rippling through the U.S. artisan cheese community, as the federal Food and Drug Administration (FDA) this week announced it will not permit American cheesemakers to age cheese on wooden boards."
Go ahead and say something creepy, see if I care
Op-Ed: Computer passes itself off as human for the very first time
"I’d like to add something to Turing’s original question – ‘Can machines be friends?’ If so, humanity has created a major asset. "
Yeah. Like that.
Just never stops, this woman
Las Vegas shooting suspects: Married, meth-using conspiracy theorists, police say - Washington Times
"Cheryl Chumley is a continuous news writer for The Washington Times."
A little bit unclear on the concept
Las Vegas shooting suspects: Married, meth-using conspiracy theorists, police say - Washington Times
"A picture is starting to form about the two shooting suspects who are accused of killing two police officers and a female civilian before turning the guns on themselves in Las Vegas over the weekend…"
[Empnasis mine.]
“Tell the police the revolution has begun,” the shooters purportedly shouted.
Right before they ended it.
I was with you there until right at the end
"‘Being able to shoot around corners and over hills is a little mind-blowing when you actually do it. Things keep on rolling,’ TrackingPoint’s Oren Schauble told Motherboard in April."
Oh go ahead and tell us what you really think
In One Tweet, Glenn Greenwald Shows Why He's The Biggest Troll Out There | The Daily Banter
"In addition to using his platform to relentlessly shame and scold anyone who isn’t as ideologically unsullied as he is, author and editor for The Intercept Glenn Greenwald is absolutely a professional troll. This feature of his generally crotchety, snippy personality manifests itself mostly on Twitter, where he brandishes the format’s 140 character poking-stick and routinely jabs it in the neck of the establishment (which he himself is now a part of) or, for that matter, just about anyone who falls in line with popular opinion."
Fighting the war on bad haircuts
War Gear Flows to Police Departments - NYTimes.com
"In Florida in 2010, officers in SWAT gear and with guns drawn carried out raids on barbershops that mostly led only to charges of ‘barbering without a license.’"
6.08.2014
Get yours today
“INSURANCE, n. An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.”
Excerpt From: Ambrose Bierce. “The Cynic's Word Book.” iBooks.
I don't know about you, but I hope the guys who build my airplane are a little more precise than this
"The wing is over there," she said, pointing across the floor." It's two hundred feet long– almost as long as a football field."
Back from the white space—but for how long?
"It was like editing the pope,’ Pastis says. ‘Like telling Michelangelo: ‘David’s hands are too big.’"
"Calvin and Hobbes was comic strip heaven,” quoth SGIS
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