The new senior center is part of a drainage project?

The mysteries of government funding never cease.

All right, see that?

North Korea still mastering how to deliver a nuke to US

"In principle, Kim Jong Un could hit the United States with a nuclear weapon," said Elleman, a former scientist at Lockheed Martin's Research and Development Laboratory who also worked as missile expert for U.N. weapons inspection missions. "In practice, I think they are probably a half-year to a full year away from having something that will work more often than it would fail."

Read the full story

We've got another six months easy – maybe even a year. What's the worry about?  We might even make it all the way to iPhone 9. (Heard any good rumors yet?) 

OK, now that’s starting to sound pretty grim

"This is going to be like having 10 Carolina-Clemson football games on the same day," Duvall said.

http://bit.ly/2vsnW5X

Shared via the Google app

Grumpy music-hating D from Minnesota would rather spend the money on bombs?

GAO: Did $1.5 billion in military music boost morale? - Stripes

"Rep. Betty McCollum, D-Minn., complained during a House committee meeting in 2011 that the Pentagon spent $1.55 billion on military bands, performances and tours over a four-year period."

http://bit.ly/2vWtOGp

Once again the Democrats break my heart. 

Yo, watch this yo-yo guy

Honolulu Yo-Yo Pro Evan Nagao Sets Sight on World Championship - NBC News

http://nbcnews.to/2hOlZMo (The first video on the page.)

Near the dawn of time, even before Snapchat, the yo-yo guy would come around to the playground every spring and do tricks, and we would all go out and buy yo-yos and try to do the same thing – but nobody was ever like this.

(Noted by Sam Guy, reporting from America's sunny Northwest.)

What’s new in American cuisine

Taco Bell testing Firecracker Burritos sprinkled with popping candy | Fox News

"I was very confused by the whole thing, but it was only $1.49."

http://fxn.ws/2vT439E

Looking on the bright side

A nuclear winter would mean we wouldn't have to worry about global warming any more, we could burn all the hydrocarbons we want, and the coal miners could have their jobs back.

Win-win.

Here's some news from the weather service

No snow in the forecast for this weekend.

 

Experimental WPC Day 4-7 Winter Weather Outlook

 

Eclipse your credit card too

Airfares to solar eclipse destinations soar to astronomical levels - The Washington Post

"Should last-minute eclipse-seekers expect to pay extra for airfare, too?

"The short answer: Heck yeah."

A few words about words

Irregardless - Imply/Infer, Amuse/Bemuse, and Other Usage Problems Solved With Limericks | Merriam-Webster

http://bit.ly/2vkr2sY

If Trump is a rock, this is the hard place

Imagining President Pence | FiveThirtyEight

https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/imagining-president-pence/

Thanks to us (and, well, TIME magazine)

Solar Eclipse Map: See How the Eclipse Will Look Near You | Time.com

"There's technically plenty of room for every American to pack into the narrow zone from Oregon to South Carolina where the total blackout will occur, shown on this eclipse map. But…"

…you can now save yourself the travel, the discomfort (too few porta-potties), the anxiety and the possible destruction of your eyes/cameras by seeing the upcoming solar eclipse right here, right now!
Just click the link above.

The rest of the country lives, apparently, in blissful peace

Political advertising in the United States:
https://www.opensecrets.org/ad-data

I just discovered…

 … I have Spam on my lists.

 It’s on my Grocery list, it’s on my Shopping list, which is for non-grocery items, and it’s on my Reminders list.

Think I’ll forget?

We mentioned avoiding work, right?

Chicken on a Raft

(Includes audio.)

This is either the wrongest rumor ever or one of the stupidest things Apple's ever done

(And they’ve done a few. Remember the Newton? That desktop that looked like an ice cube?)

New iPhone 8 'Cancellation' Reveals Apple's Biggest Gamble

"The news comes from none other than KGI Securities’ acclaimed analyst Ming-Chi Kuo. In a new report obtained by AppleInsider Kuo said the integration of a fingerprint reader into the iPhone 8’s display has not only been 'cancelled' but Touch ID will be scrapped entirely from the phone."

But this would be a whopper. With face recognition only and no fingerprint ID, you’d have to be a contortionist to use Apple Pay.

“iPhone 8,” by the way, in case you haven’t been obsessing about your tech news recently, is the press’s designated name for a rumored tenth anniversary iPhone Apple is expected to introduce soon, along with an iPhone 7s and 7s+, named according to what has become a normal annual upgrade sequence. “iPhone 8” will probably not be the product’s eventual name but, hey, who can wait for anything around here?

Shotgun weddings seem quaintly old-fashioned but…

Cops: Bride Pulled Handgun On Her Groom | The Smoking Gun

"AUGUST 1--During a post-nuptial dispute, a Tennessee newlywed removed a 9mm pistol from beneath her wedding dress and pulled the trigger while pointing the weapon at her new husband, police charge."

Everybody wants in on the act

The Solar Eclipse Could Mean Disaster for Trump, According to Astrologers

And here’s the punchline:

““…a lot of astrologers are expecting some kind of downfall, some kind of ruin, some kind of difficulty.”

How do they do that?

Or they could just buy a coffee pot…

The police boycott of Dunkin' Donuts is fully on | New York Post

The police boycott of Dunkin' Donuts is apparently heating up, as a sergeant was spotted Sunday walking into the 73rd Precinct station house with trays full of what appeared to be generic, corner-market brew.

http://nyp.st/2wm3nXD

It’s so hot in Seattle they’re watering the bridge

Whaaat?

Pacific Northwest is hazy, hot, and bothered
The Washington Post

Seattle and other cities endure a prolonged heat wave while wildfire smoke from Canada creates an unusual haze. 

The Seattle Department of Transportation twice this week closed the 100-year-old University Bridge to cool it down, spraying water on the structure to keep the metal from expanding and damaging the span.

Read the full story

Shared from Apple News

Overheard at the laundromat

1st Person: Do you know what time it is?

2nd Person: No, I don’t have a phone.

(Meanwhile, about three feet above their heads is a big old schoolroom-style clock.)

Another reason you don’t want to go to Connecticut

Skunk in bed: Connecticut boy gets stinky wakeup

It's not clear how the skunk found its way into the boy's bed, but no one was happy about the outcome.

http://bit.ly/2v8KdFV