Wait, she can say this?

This Photo of Kim Kardashian Shows Why Women Can’t Have It All | TIME

"Three cheers for Kim Kardashian, the Mrs. Potato Head of modern womanhood."

OK, now I’m really confused.

We're calling it the StalkerScope

For $300, X-ray vision to soon be reality | New York Post


But anything for a vote

Hear the One About Jeb Bush’s Humor? You Have to Listen Closely - The New York Times

"He is a candidate so dry that flights of wit can become indistinguishable from a sober default setting."

The morning after

Dropped by the bank to play the ATM. There was a security guard outside, on the sidewalk. A guy exiting the bank as I was entering asked the guard how his Christmas was.

Uneventful, said the guard.


Imagine our relief

Yes, Virginia, Santa is not a socialist | New York Post


Who needs reindeer?

Homeless stoners get free joints for Christmas in Denver | New York Post

"'’Cannabis can make a difference,’ is kind of what we’re standing for,' a stoked Dicenzo told the station. 'Merry Christmas, Happy Cannamas — would you like some rolling papers?'"

And I'm still trying to figure out if Montana is real

Montana man claims he has proof that UFOs are real - NY Daily News


But what if nobody cares?

Onward Christmas Warriors ... - Heard on the Hill

"'I think it’s kind of funny that Republicans preferred fruitcake over Democrats,' Williams said. Among all voters, 38 percent said they thought the alleged treat was good, while 52 percent opted for ‘nah.' But 50 percent of Republicans and 58 percent of seniors liked fruitcake, compared to only 39 percent of Democrats and 27 percent of young voters."

Wait, what?

Smell like Vladimir!

Put on some Putin: Russian president inspires new perfume | World news | The Guardian


But you have to bring your own cape

What It's Like To Drink Bulletproof Coffee Every Morning For Two Weeks

"Its promises are multitude, at least according to its creator, cloud-computing pioneer and "Bulletproof Executive" Dave Asprey, who refined his recipe after trying a tea made with yak-butter in Nepal."

Merry Christmas, drivers (and everybody else too, but…)

Also, the coffee's free all day. 


Might be a little different this year

Too late to do much good, but maybe next year

Where To Say ‘Merry Christmas’ vs. ‘Happy Holidays’ | FiveThirtyEight

"Since Christmas is such a public holiday — people put out displays and pass out cookies, and they feel compelled to wish people some version of merriment — it is no surprise that reactions to it vary across communities. "

What Would Mozart Do?

Austrian radio jockey punished for playing 'Last Christmas' 24 times | Reuters

"Only once the moderator's daughter called the studio to beg her father to stop because the song made everyone 'mad' did he finish his one-song marathon, according to a video on Youtube."

Bad bird

Angry owl back in Salem, Oregon; 2 attacks reported

"Dwight French said he was jogging from his office to a parking garage Monday when he felt a bump on the back of his head. He turned around and saw an owl fly into the trees and stare at him. As he crossed a street, the owl hit him again and then a third time."

What a hoot!


How many tries do you think it took to get this word through autocorrect?

The Right's Post-Constitutional Moment - POLITICO Magazine

"Rand Paul, who sells autographed copies of the Constitution, is a libertarian distillation of these concerns. He makes constitutional persnicketiness a high art."

Persnicketiness! W00t!

Pretty binary there, Wilson's

Lock the computer up

Computer Glitch Allows 3,000 Inmates Early Release In Washington State : The Two-Way : NPR


Today in First World Problems

When Is It OK To Sleep Naked In Hotels?


Shocker: College students complain about cafeteria food

Oberlin students think Americanized Asian food is cultural appropriation. They’re wrong.

It’s the middle of December—what took them so long?



Clearly, we've entered the holiday slump

Giant comets may threaten Earth: astronomers

{Or maybe it’s early-onset spring fever.)

As long as we don't have to shovel it (and it doesn't turn to ice)…

Drenching rain to disrupt holiday travel across eastern US


Sure she is; she just can't decide whose

Hillary Clinton Embraces Bill Clinton’s Economic Legacy - The New York Times

"At the same time, Mrs. Clinton reminds voters that she is not running for anyone’s third term."

Bunky, there is so much wrong with this line of campaigning it takes my breath away. It was the Clinton administration that brought us NAFTA and the greatly weakened banking regulations that helped set up one of the biggest crashes in history. Clinton disappeared poor people and merrily helped blow up the safety net of “welfare.” And that so-called “robust economy” he likes to credit himself with was largely buoyed by two big one-time phenomena—the rapid building out of Internet infrastructure and Y2K: in some substantial part, a fluke. 


And more's the pity

No Lightspeeding: Safe-Driving Messages Get ‘Star Wars’ Twist - The New York Times

"Gone are the days when the most memorable warning beamed to motorists was 'Drive hammered, get nailed.'"

Yikes! I’m turning into a conservative: The old one is best.

Gotta hand it to the PR campaign for this new Star Wars movie, though. It’s everywhere. Obama gave the movie a plug in his last press conference and I even read about it in the local paper—and all I look at is the front page, above the fold (the part you can see through the window in the box). 

I'm not expecting this technology to make a big [sigh] splash

Piss in Your Socks, Charge Your Phone - The Daily Beast

"Basically, you’d urinate into a series of tubes connected to a pump in your socks, which is activated via walking."

–Thanks to Some Guy in Seattle


Has Lindsey saved the day?

Lindsey Graham Tries To Stop Trump The Only Way He Can — By Quitting | FiveThirtyEight

"Even if Graham’s exit doesn’t change the contours of the Republican race, it’s a sign that there’s plenty of time for the race to change. As long as Trump is a threat to win, there will be pressure on candidates who are sucking up establishment oxygen to leave the race, and party leaders will be pushed to rally around one candidate. Stay tuned"

Once upon a long, long time ago…

 …as long ago as, say, the early '70s, low oil prices were good. Now they're bad. What happened? The money changed sides.

Today in WTF

The Stimulus Act Started a Cyber Crime Wave of Medical Data Theft - The Daily Beast

"According to a survey released this month by the company Privacy Analytics, more than two-thirds of health care organizations lack confidence in their ability to protect patient data."

If it's good, it's gotta get bad

New Englanders fear repeat of last year's historic snows

"BOSTON (AP) — A warm start to winter has New Englanders feeling wary…"

The Puritan dread strikes again.


From the Tinkerbell school of politics…

Clinton Campaign Spins Candidate’s Remarks About ISIS Using Trump Videos To Recruit Terrorists [VIDEO] | The Daily Caller

"Clinton’s campaign chairman, John Podesta, and Jennifer Palmieri, her communications director, both acknowledged in separate interviews on Sunday that Clinton did not actually have a specific video in mind when she said that ISIS recruiters 'are going to people showing videos of Donald Trump insulting Islam and Muslims in order to recruit more radical jihadists.' But both insisted that the gist of Clinton’s comments about the Republican front-runner are accurate."

But she hasn't started baking cookies, has she?

Well then, problem solved

The D version of a Trump tale about celebrations in New Jersey

No evidence for Hillary Clinton's claim that ISIS is using videos of Donald Trump as recruiting tool | PolitiFact

"They are going to people showing videos of Donald Trump insulting Islam and Muslims in order to recruit more radical jihadists."

Just one reason why (or why not)

On Encryption, Obama And Congress Want More Debate - BuzzFeed News

"'I would very much like to get to a world where if a judge issues an order, companies are able to comply with it,' [FBI Director James Comey] said. 'Either to unlock a device or to provide the communications between terrorists or between drug dealers or kidnappers.'"

Authorize a controversial technique to fight terrorism, next thing you know you’re also using it to fight drug dealers, kidnappers, child pornographers, “eco-terrorists,” income tax cheats… 

With lutfisk?

Sweden's bizarre tradition of watching Donald Duck (Kalle Anka) cartoons on Christmas Eve.

"Every year on Dec. 24 at 3 p.m., half of Sweden sits down in front of the television for a family viewing of the 1958 Walt Disney Presents Christmas special, 'From All of Us to All of You.' Or as it is known in Sverige, Kalle Anka och hans vänner önskar God Jul: 'Donald Duck and his friends wish you a Merry Christmas.'"