I'm pretty sure it involves a lot of potato chips

It's been >20 years since I spent an afternoon watching college football and I'm not sure l remember all it takes (except the chips), but here goes a try. I got a trial week from Sling so why not?

The Michigan game is not on the menu but I'll take what I can get as long as the chips hold out. And I have hot dogs too. 

YA abandoned factory

This one made fine silverware.

We're not asking how you can sink a wave

Panthers’ big plays sink Green Wave, 14-12 | The Recorder

"Two big plays proved to be costly as Cathedral High School squeaked by Greenfield High School, 14-12…"

Free the redheads OR ELSE

Unicorn and middle finger emoji coming to iPhone – but still no redheads | Technology | The Guardian

"Tech Insider refers to the middle-finger swearing emoji as “hotly anticipated”, but the Guardian is more excited by the soon-to-be-available burrito, writing hand, and a popped bottle of champagne.

…But no-one will get to use a red-haired emoji anytime soon, which, once again, STILL DOES NOT EXIST [sic]."

Bureaucratic language and how much we love it

From an article in the New York Times this morning about Obama's nifty deal with the onions*…

"The deal has to now be embedded in a larger Iran strategy, and that is key to re-engaging and reinvigorating** with allies and partners in the region,” said Michèle A. Flournoy, a former under secretary of defense for Mr. Obama…"

*Iranians, not onions, but onions was too delicious to delete. Thanks AutoCorrect!
**What?

Bush doesn't even make the chart in New Hampshire

Trump leads polls among both white men & women, regardless of education. via @RonBrownstein http://t.co/GlUxt96vo9 pic.twitter.com/b6KooMwhFI

— National Journal GFX (@NJ_Graphics) September 11, 2015

And are there no college-educated women in Iowa?

We're not in the Middle Ages anymore

Popemoji: For Pope Francis' American visit Swyft Media has created pope emojis.

"The perfectly named popemanteau feature 52 pope-themed stickers and 14 animated GIFs tied to his American visit, including Pope Francis running up the steps of Philadelphia Museum of Art a la Rocky, waving from a New York City cab, and hanging out by the Washington and Lincoln memorials. There’s even one of him tweeting."

Let's hear it for white and clear then

Mystery chunk of ice crashes onto California home

"Pieces of the ice in the Savath home were white or clear. Its color ruled out the possibility that it was waste that leaked from an airplane, which is blue from chemicals used to flush airplane toilets."

I can't resist this stuff…so sue me

We're starting to think…Brooklyn?

Hobo Chic From the Bindle Bros. of Brooklyn - The New York Times

"Bindle Brothers bindles are not cheap. Their basic “green” model, so-named for the color of the bandanna, runs $99. The “twindle,” a double-branched bindle, is $178.90. And the deluxe model, the Teddy Roosevelt, is listed at $350."

What you missed (because you weren't here)

This guy in yesterday's somewhat soggy County Fair parade—the one on the right…

…is playing a solo version of Dueling Banjos.

Good news: They're not all Donald Trump

Huckabee claims black people aren't technically citizens during critique of unjust laws: http://t.co/iB4CGYCa5S pic.twitter.com/MdRKhIC2hO

— The Slatest (@slatest) September 11, 2015

Wait…

Because it's still summer?

This Is Why Men Wear Only 13 Percent of Their Clothes http://t.co/Huzv1MJ8R9 pic.twitter.com/J2SypgVDlx

— Esquire Magazine (@esquire) September 11, 2015

Because I'm telling you, Bunky, in just a few months I'm going to be wearing 100% of my clothes, and maybe more.

I don't understand…

Oil falls more than 2 percent after banks cut forecasts | Reuters

"Oil prices fell more than 2 percent on Friday after Goldman Sachs and Germany's Commerzbank both slashed their crude forecasts, citing oversupply and concerns over China's economy."

Why anybody pays any attention at all to what Goldman Sachs says anymore but in this case, I’m glad they do.

Give it a try

Weatherman pronounces 'Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrob-wllllantysiliogogogoch' flawlessly on live TV - Trending - CBC News

Don't rain on my parade

The Donald abides

A How-To Guide for Dealing With Donald Trump’s Insults

"'Don­ald Trump is shal­low. He has no un­der­stand­ing of policy. He’s full of bluster but has no sub­stance. He lacks the in­tel­lec­tu­al curi­os­ity to even learn,' Jin­dal said in an ap­par­ent ef­fort to leave no stone un­turned."

Feel the Bern

Bernie Sanders 'stunned' over polls - CNNPolitics.com [VIDEO]

When the history of probes is written…

U.S. military probes possible mishandling of bubonic plague samples at its labs. http://t.co/qWs9ruV6UB. pic.twitter.com/PgzgEoF0Mt

— CNN Breaking News (@cnnbrk) September 10, 2015

And it's the only place the Kardashians aren't

Several countries — including Syria — already have women on their currency. The U.S. does not. http://t.co/LbGMKsWQUL pic.twitter.com/XBiSfWr1Wa

— POLITICO (@politico) September 10, 2015

Oh no! Already too late

3:30pm Robinson’s Racing Pigs - Infield

Go ahead, guess

This started out as a really bad day, but it's getting better

And we have plenty of nukes to spare, so why not?

Elon Musk: Nukes can make Mars more like Earth

"Mars is 'a fixer upper of a planet,' Musk says, but it can be made to be more like Earth if it can be made hotter. When it comes to turning on the planetary furnace, there's a slow way and fast way, he explained."

Tired of watching pols campaign? There's always Syria

Exclusive: Russian troops join combat in Syria - sources | Reuters

"Washington has put pressure on countries nearby to deny their air space to Russian flights, a move Moscow denounced on Wednesday as 'international boorishness'."

We hope it never stops

Sarah Palin attacks Iran deal with confusing metaphors - POLITICO

“Only in an Orwellian Obama world full of sprinkly fairy dust blown from atop his unicorn as he’s peeking through a really pretty pink kaleidoscope would he ever see victory or safety for America or Israel in this treaty…"

 

Maybe it would be easier to just make a list of what State does know

State Department was unaware of transparency czar's donation to Hillary Clinton - POLITICO

"The State Department was not aware that the ex-diplomat selected this week to oversee transparency and recordkeeping issues at her former agency had given the maximum $2,700 donation to Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign until news reports disclosed the gift Tuesday, a State spokesman said."

Don't say you weren't warned

This Hilarious PSA About Corny Dad Jokes Prove the Struggle is Real

“If you or someone you love is suffering from crappy dad jokes, get help today."

Tough talk

Hillary Clinton 2016: Vladimir Putin's ability to grab presidency has a certain appeal - POLITICO

"On a more serious note, Clinton said that she is 'in the category of people who wanted to do more in reaction to the annexation of Crimea' last year."

The anti-Z

I got an email newsletter the other day

Wowbrary is the cute, cute name of a syndicated library newsletter—I suppose you can get it too if you like.

This most recent book list includes the interesting juxtaposition:

$2.00 a day : living on almost nothing in America

and

Busy: How to Thrive in a World of Too Much 

Take your pick.

[And special to our Midwest and Elsewhere Bureau: Avenue of Spies: A True Story of Terror, Espionage, and One American Family's Heroic Resistance in Nazi-Occupied Paris.]

A new reality star is born

Hillary Clinton's 'authenticity' effort: Will this new approach work? - CSMonitor.com

"Mistakes have been made, according to Clintonworld, but now her campaign will push the real Hillary."

[I am unclear on the concept, “reality star,” but it seems to involve a lot of selfies, of which I have seen plenty already.]

I bit into a donut this morning and it was bright yellow

I don't mind eating bright yellow corn puffs, but donuts? Turns out it was this late-season spell we've been having that threw me off. The donut was pumpkin, and yes, we're into that.

Tomorrow is the county fair parade. Probably I'll go, at least for some of it. It's the same parade every year; I know it by heart. But it's the only parade we have, unless you count Memorial Day, which doesn't count.

And there are bands – the high school and middle school marching bands, both gloriously out of tune and out of step (but school just started last week, didn't it?). That makes it worthwhile, right there.

I'm told we have a new health official in town who's complaining about the fried dough booth at the fair itself. This is the most exciting thing that's happened for a while. But I'm not sure it's enough to get me there. Once a decade is enough for this fair, and I just went three years ago.

I try to avoid buying donuts, but sometimes I am weak.

Are football fans just cuddlier or what?

The Wikipedia article on Yankee Stadium puts that ballpark's capacity at 49,642 for baseball games, but 54,251 for football. It's anybody's guess.

My guess is, for football games they put bleachers on the field.

I looked this fact up while reading about while reading a CNN article about Syrian refugees this morning. Apparently the state department figures the U.S. can accommodate as many as 3,000 this year, 5,000 next—or enough to fill the outfield bleachers.

Also from Wikipedia, "there are an estimated half million illegal entries into the United States each year"—or about enough to sell out ten games.

Round 2 begins

Hillary Clinton apologizes for e-mail system: "I take responsibility" http://t.co/OSzOTKc3Ha

— Washington Post (@washingtonpost) September 8, 2015

She's trying to get ahead of something here. But what?

Ditka for secretary of state

Mike Ditka: Trump 'on the right track' http://t.co/cFp6yQqe9i | Getty pic.twitter.com/Iek8oCf3nN

— POLITICO (@politico) September 8, 2015

Or else

Reading the Riot Act wasn't always just a metaphor.

"If a group of a dozen or more people gathered and showed signs of being unruly, the Riot Act enabled an officer of the law to approach the crowd and tell them to disperse. To do so, said officer had to literally read the Riot Act, in a manner similar to the United States' practice of reading someone their Miranda rights before interrogating them.…

Once the officer—who could be a mayor, bailiff, sheriff, or justice of the peace—read this wordy sentence, ideally in a booming and authoritative voice, the group received a grace period of one hour. After 60 minutes elapsed, any members of the crowd who remained had officially committed a felony. The punishment? Death."

We can't wait to find out!

America’s girls have a violence problem | New York Post

"As the story of Michelle Carter, an 18-year-old in Massachusetts who encouraged her 18-year-old boyfriend, Conrad Roy, to kill himself — which he did — winds through our media, it’s easy to wonder: What’s happening to young women?"

And we don't believe in wind chill either

But still, we're having a bit of a late-summer warm spell here.

Even a broken clock, blah blah

Why Paul Krugman thinks Donald Trump is right - The Washington Post

"His comments on taxes have won him ambivalent praise from Paul Krugman, the Nobel laureate and columnist for The New York Times, who writes that Trump understands the economy better than the other Republican candidates, who oppose tax increases."

Yes it's still summer for another couple of weeks

Labor Day

Labor Day - Newspaper and Current Periodical Reading Room (Serial and Government Publications Division, Library of Congress)

There's always one

XKCD

Dull enough for you?

Dullmen.com

Look, it's been quite a while since my last martini so I know I'm behind the times…

But is this what they mean when they talk about artisanal cocktails? Some guy sticking watermelon puckers in your drink? Watermelon puckers? Really? Bunky, that's just wrong.

And don't even get me started on lemonade.

One guy NOT running for the Republican nomination

Canadian pees in mug, dumps it in sink, runs for office | Miami Herald

Dude, this is exactly why I don't have gutters any more

America Wants You to Feel Ashamed About Procrastinating. Don't. | The New Republic

"Puritan theology…considered procrastination a sin. Jonathan Edwards preached in the early 1700s that those who delay doing good works 'flatter themselves that they shall see another day, and then another, and trust to that, until finally most of them are swallowed up in hell, to lament their folly to all eternity, in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone.' Think about that the next time your gutters need cleaning."

Dissing geezers is a bad idea

Analysis reveals average age of the stars of this year's blockbusters is 48 | Daily Mail Online

"But there is only so long an actor old enough to be your grandfather is believable jumping out of planes and run down the street after a bad guy half their age - not to mention woo women born long after their first film hit the big screen."

Just saying.

People

Barack Obama’s debt to Syria’s huddled masses - FT.com

"America’s abstention so far from Syria’s human crisis can be measured in numbers. Germany has put its European neighbours to shame by saying it will process up to 800,000 refugee applications — a multiple of the rest of Europe put together. Since the start of Syria’s civil war, the US has taken just 1,434.

"There was a period when the US was deporting more Mexican immigrants than that every day."

Another Republican obsession comes back to haunt us

Is Ted Cruz Allowed To Run Since He Was Born In Canada? : It's All Politics : NPR

"That's because even though Cruz grew up in Texas, he was born in Canada. (He renounced his Canadian citizenship in 2013.)"

The fate of a phrase

Going All In on “All In” - The New Yorker

"Whereas 'all in' once referred to a scenario in which someone either wins a hand or loses everything in a flash, now it means that a person is simply generally enthusiastic or fully committed. It’s everywhere these days—business jargon, marketing catch phrases, sports mantras, and the idioms of religion and self-help."

Are you a Medicaid loser? (Depends on if you're in Iowa)

Iowa to Medicaid losers: Complaints based on hearsay

Where was this guy when I needed him (like, 3 AM)?

Carl Hiaasen: Can’t sleep? Try reading Hillary’s emails | Miami Herald

Plus: 

"On the one hand, it’s kind of cute that the State Department actually has a Help Desk. On the other hand, someone who needs to contact the Help Desk to find the secretary of State isn’t necessarily someone the secretary of State should be talking to."

My experience with digital cameras is…

…that they don't do red very well. But once in a while they come close.

Got it

Big orange guy weighs in

Nine False Claims in Hillary Clinton’s Latest Interview | Speaker.gov

“The people in the government knew that I was using a personal account.”

President Obama said he didn’t know. Former White House Chief of Staff Bill Daley said he didn’t know. Former Senior Advisor to the President David Axelrod said he didn’t know. The State Department IT Help Desk didn’t know.…

Sure, but it depends on what the meaning of “in” is.

Shopping efficiently…

…I bought some corn chips with lime flavor—the counts as a vegetable and a fruit, right?

Chairs musical

It's a game where the people stand still and the chairs move. This chair has been moving up and down the block for a week. I never see it go, but whenever I look it's in a different place.

When it stops in front of the house I live in I'm going to sit in it.

Blaming you—yes you, Bunky

Hillary Clinton Emails: I'm 'sorry' the email scandal is confusing to people

None of this would be happening if you weren’t so confused.

But he'd have to take a big pay cut, wouldn't he?

Donald Trump 2016: It’s Time to Discuss His Running Mate

“[Odds on] Tom Brady (Even). Handsome, likeable, young, a Trump friend—a guy who will do what it takes to win. Or at least has a 'general awareness' of what it takes."