St. Patrick's Day is next Friday but it's never too early in Chicago

Chicago River dyed green as St. Patrick’s Day celebrations start | Chicago Sun-Times

Pretty soon there'll be a robot for this too

Alaska man charged with using front-end loader to steal ATM

"The FBI is investigating three other Anchorage ATM thefts with heavy equipment since Dec. 25. Excavators in at least two previous cases were stolen from Turnbow's former employer."

Even the crooks will be out of jobs.

So this new guy at the EPA cancels climate change and now look

We want it back.

If you don't have trouble enough already…

Was Hitler in it?

NASA finds missing spacecraft orbiting around the moon | New York Post

15 Weird Leaks About Alien Alliances With The Nazis - TheRichest (some nuisance audio on this page)

Maybe a big net would help

How US and Iraqi forces plan to stop Islamic State drones - CSMonitor.com

"Designed to look and feel like a rifle, the DroneDefender fires an electronic signal that can force a drone to return to its owner, hover in place or land.…"

Or maybe we’re looking at a skeet shooting renaissance.

Down Memory Lane

Showing Confidence, Hillary Clinton Pushes Into Republican Strongholds - The New York Times

"Hillary Clinton’s campaign is planning its most ambitious push yet into traditionally right-leaning states, a new offensive aimed at extending her growing advantage over Donald J. Trump while bolstering down-ballot candidates in what party leaders increasingly suggest could be a sweeping victory for Democrats at every level.

"Signaling extraordinary confidence in Mrs. Clinton’s electoral position and a new determination to deliver a punishing message to Mr. Trump and Republicans… "

This was from the New York Times of October 17, about three weeks before the Universe As We Knew It screeched to a halt. Some people are still suffering the whiplash.

Or maybe they just got around to watching the movie

Scientists might have figured out how to grow potatoes on Mars | New York Post

 

I can't spell "Weimaraner" (or most of the other words on this list)…

…but a 5-year old kid  from Tulsa can, and she’s off the the National Spelling Bee. Way to go, Edith Fuller.

5-year-old Edith Fuller wins regional bee in Tulsa; advances to Scripps National Spelling Bee - KJRH.com

Finally, robots get around to doing something useful

Food delivery of the future? Robots bringing meals to DC

"WASHINGTON (AP) — Some hungry customers in the nation's capital may be surprised to discover a robot is delivering their pastrami on rye."

I can't wait for the movie

Fishing magnate known as 'The Codfather' to plead guilty | Boston Herald

"Federal authorities say he falsely claimed his vessels caught haddock or pollock, when they had actually caught other species subject to stricter quotes. "

Is paranoia the new sex?

Here’s how the rich can escape NYC when a calamity hits | New York Post

"Chris Dowhie, co-owner of Plan B Marine, runs a marine evacuation service which advertises the fastest possible way out of Manhattan."

Hey, it sells.

Now, now, kids, settle down

FBI wants to know how long CIA knew about security breach | New York Post

“…and the White House said Wednesday that President Trump was “extremely concerned” about the stunning security breach."

Have you been following this story? It’s getting really good! It says here in the NY Post:

"It also emerged that the CIA learned late last year that its hacking operations had been compromised, but didn’t know the material would be made public until nearly 9,000 pages popped up Tuesday on the WikiLeaks website."

Yep, the italics are mine. And what’s more, "WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange says his group will work with technology companies to help defend them against the Central Intelligence Agency’s hacking tools” and he can get you a really good price on a bridge in Brooklyn, too. What a guy!

I can’t wait till the FBI gets to the bottom of this.

Like, geek porn

McDonald's hires engineers to redesign the straw for the new Shamrock Shake | KFOX

"JACE and NK Labs created the 'probably-more-revolutionary-than-actually-needed Suction Tube for Reverse Axial Withdrawal (the STRAW).' McDonald's said the STRAW's j-shape provides optimal flavor flow dynamics."

Also you get a milkshake to go with it!

This isn't spooky or anything and no, of course the CIA won't hack it

This suitcase uses GPS to follow you around like a puppy dog | New York Post

"Travelmate is a suitcase on wheels that is connected to your phone and uses GPS technology to track your movements, following less than a foot behind."

If you're using antivirus software…

Did WikiLeaks just unmask CIA cyberoperations? - CSMonitor.com

"Now that the vulnerabilities have been revealed, tech companies will begin updating their systems to repair their vulnerabilities. 'People will start pushing out antivirus signatures by tomorrow,' he says."

…now’s the time to make sure it’s up to date and has its most current signatures installed, and is configured to update automatically as necessary. Or update it yourself. Often.

Geezers everywhere

Time to start thinking about the 2018 election!

Election Guide 2018 | Roll Call

Or maybe not. Me, I’m still trying to stop thinking about the last one.

Be still my heart

Ice cream review: Hostess launches ice cream line, first up is Twinkies flavor | masslive.com

"Here's the thing, I went into this review predisposed to hate this awful flavor and, shocker, it was indeed gross, but not as disgusting as I thought it would be."

The month of March

Of course we believe that; it's no nuttier than everything else

Agents detain Playboy model they believed to be Russian spy | New York Post

"She has 1.9 million Twitter followers and more than 5 million fans on Instagram."

Whatever's on your mind

Me, I'm boycotting March

It’s 30º out there and it’s a sunny afternoon. Thirty degrees would be alright in January or even February but March? No. 

I’m having nothing to do with March until it shapes up and if that’s not soon I’m going to Washington and organizing a…well…march.

Rejoice! Roland B. Hedley Jr. is on Twitter

Roland B. Hedley Jr. (@RealRBHJr) | Twitter

And to double the joy, here’s the full strip from GoComics (or you may find it in your local newspaper, of course, if you do that sort of thing). 

It’s definitely time to get back to Trudeau.

Bad times in the poem biz

Well versed - The Australian

"Poets used to be like rock stars. Their verse was recited, remembered and regarded as the pinnacle of a writer's achievement. Now a real rock star in Bob Dylan has won the Nobel Prize in Literature with lyrics that are to poetry as a clay pot is to a golden bowl. Poets now seek succour in the dubious sanctuary of academia and struggle for a dwindling reading audience, like beggars fighting over the contents of a ­dumpster."

https://goo.gl/o0BM4N