And a pomegranate too.

A study funded by a juice maker found men who drank the beverage had a longer time until doubling of their blood levels of PSA -- a protein that indicates the presence of prostate cancer.

Pomegranate Juice May Fight Cancer... | The Huffington Post

Come on-a my house, my house I'm gonna give a you

Figs and dates and grapes and cakes eh

(Rosemary Clooney)

And if you're a "juice maker" and you want to sell some, you know, juice, well what you do, see, is you get you some of them there scientific fellers and you find out it prevents cancer. Or even maybe prevents cancer. And then you just start makin' more as fast as you can.

Hey, if you can sell oat bran that way you can sell anything.

Gadget alert! Shirt blows air up your...well...shirt.

The clothes have two 10 centimeter fans located at right and left sides at the back of clothing at waist level. These fans draw in a large amount of air which helps to vapourize thus dissipating sweat and bringing down the wearers body temprature. The clothing comes with a switch to adjust the fan speed. Just connect your shirt to the USB port and be cool.

USB Powered Air conditioned clothes - New Launches

But wait! That's not all! If you don't have a USB port handy (as unlikely as that seems), you can plug yourself in to the lighter socket in your car. Woohoo!

Or, it runs on batteries. But, considering the alternatives, that seems a little bit, you know, ten minutes ago.

So now there are all these little matching hospitals running around in Lansing, MI.

Hospital has 6 sets of twins in 32 hours - Yahoo! News

(Well, actually, it was six women who had the six sets of twins. I didn't need to tell you that, did I? And the first of the six was named...Chastity. So there ya go.)

Well, guess old John predicted wrong then.

Despite the fantastic record of consumer fireworks in America, Massachusetts, home to John Hancock and four other signers of the Declaration of Independence, home of four U.S. presidents, and home to Paul Revere and countless other heroes of the American Revolution, still will not allow its citizens to celebrate freedom in the manner predicted by Massachusetts native John Adams in 1776 — with fireworks!

Salem News Online

Although perhaps I live in a more predictable part of the state because my neighborhood has been sounding like a war zone for the past few days and I'm sure that'll continue until the 4th is celebratorily past. Nonetheless I hope the Salem News (you do remember Salem, don't you?) is correct about the fantastic record part. Everything's safely too wet to burn much around here, so hey.

Supposing? Oh I don't think we need supposing here.

Last week, in the US, I saw an advert for a handheld gizmo using the slogan "It's not a cellphone: it's MySpace on the go." It's a terrifying first - a new gadget I know I'll never want to buy. I've never felt so lost.

Guardian Unlimited | Charlie Brooker: Supposing ... I'm too old for MySpace

(Although I do empathize about the gadget shock.)

I think I read somewhere recently 30% of US Internet users belong to MySpace. Which made me wonder, what percent of US Internet users are under 12. Just wondering, is all. I've never seen MySpace and I probably never will. It doesn't sound that interesting to me and anyway, at my age, I'd probably get arrested just for logging in.

I'm not into "social" and I'm not into "networking," which pretty much sums it up. I mean, I used to belong to a "social network" back in the days when they were called chat rooms. That was about, if I remember right, just after the pyramids were built. But I've become less social and a whole lot less networky since then. I'd probably be a hermit if I could find a cave with DSL.

I tried joining some kind of old people's club called SeniorNet but it turned out the geezers were just as yappy and contentious as the kids. Who needs that? Although I will say, nobody will ever try to market a wireless SeniorNet gizmo, at least there's that.

So I could save up for one of these USB bracelets, which look pretty cool, huh? Or a potato blaster, of course.

Do-it-yourself gadget kills TV from 90 feet.

Ultra TV-B-Gone

So you just drive down the street with one of these during the next Super Bowl....

There'll always be an England.

LONDON, England (AP) -- A British army regiment's ceremonial pet goat was demoted in disgrace after it marched out of line before a host of international dignitaries during a parade to mark Queen's Elizabeth II's birthday, a military spokesman said Saturday.

CNN.com - Goat demoted for parade incident - Jun 24, 2006

Hey, I can dig it. I flunked prioritizing too.

TMZ has learned the FBI and Massachusetts authorities raided a Westfield, Mass. home Tuesday night and seized photos of a baby shower held by Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.

Police Raids Over Jolie-Pitt Baby Shower - TMZ.com

Now here's an amendment I could vote for.

Cheeseburger Anti Desecration Crusade. The only proper cheese on a cheeseburger is yellow. Either Wisconsin Cheddar or good ol American. That’s it. You can take your Mexican Pepper Jack and your Baby Swiss and your French gorgonzola and shred them where the sun never shines. Like on a salad. And it's a butter grilled sesame seed bun, not sun dried tomato focaccia bread.

AlterNet: The Pork Barrel Protection Act

Alternet's Will Durst has some suggestions about what else needs protecting from libbies and evildoers.

PS: And hamburgers too.

The bill for one burger, with garnishes like organic greens, exotic mushrooms and tomatoes, comes out to $124.50, including tax and an 18 percent tip.

CNN

Which of course is why we have a War on Thinking (WOT?).

Neuroscientists have proposed a simple explanation for the pleasure of grasping a new concept: The brain is getting its fix. The "click" of comprehension triggers a biochemical cascade that rewards the brain with a shot of natural opium-like substances, said Irving Biederman of the University of Southern California. He presents his theory in an invited article in the latest issue of American Scientist.

'Thirst for knowledge' may be opium craving | Science Blog

What, no fingerprints on the USB port?

WASHINGTON -Social Security numbers and other personal data on 26.5 million veterans and military troops were not copied from a Veterans Affairs computer missing for eight weeks, theFBI said Thursday.

FBI says data on VA laptop not accessed - Yahoo! News

I don't claim to be an expert on such things so somebody can explain to me how they can tell the data were not copied, well, that'd be fine.

Lotta physics in this.

Floodwaters Begin to Recede After Mass Evacuations in Northeast

FOXNews.com - Floodwaters Begin to Recede After Mass Evacuations in Northeast - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News

Eureka!

Well, OK, Archimedes's principle has to do with buoyancy if you want to get all picky about it but buoyancy has to do with displacement, doesn't it? If you fish the people out of the water the water level goes down. Duh. Just like, well, you're taking a bath with all your neighbors, right? And...

OK, not exactly. But sorta. In a general way. About.

And another thing, baby. Duck.

Why do I need a laser pointer with a range of 14 miles that can melt a garbage bag? Look, if you have to ask, you'll never understand me, baby. I mean, I might have to give a PowerPoint presentation at the Rose Bowl.

Laser Pointers, Blue, Green & Red Lasers

And, not only melt garbage bags. Light cigars. And, ummm, disperse birds.

Right!

But did she get the code?

OMAHA, Neb. --A nun accused of stealing more than $300,000 from the Omaha Archdiocese turned herself in.

Nun accused of stealing $300G turns self in - Boston.com

Yeah, my driver's license picture doesn't look much like me, either.

The Jordanian then forged an ID using the client's name and a picture of Pitt.

Embezzler busted for posing as Brad Pitt - Yahoo! News

"Welfare queens," Texas style.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Tenet Healthcare Corp. will pay $725 million over four years to settle allegations it overbilled the U.S. health insurance program for the elderly, the company said on Thursday.

Tenet to pay $725 mln to settle Medicare pay probe - Boston.com

OK help me out here, New Hampshirians.

But Nashua Police Sgt. Jeff Maher says the recording is a crime, even though the cameras are not hidden and officers were on the Gannons' property at the time.

Father arrested on charges of illegally videotaping police - Boston.com

Would this apply to 7-11s? Or, say, just for the sake of argument, banks?

Police in Nashua are accusing one Michael Gannon with taping a police officer acting discourteously without the officer's consent. They say it's illegal to record people without their consent even though the tape is made by a surveillance camera installed on private, posted property. Something about "evesdropping and wiretapping." I don't know. Sounds a little iffy to me. Especially coming from a state where they put "Live Free or Die" on their license plates.

(Although sometimes, judging from the news that occasionally filters down from New Hampshire, I think they should change their slogan to "Live Free or Hide Under Your Bed." But that's another rant for another  day.)

James Bond? Oh, children. Please.

A watch with an antenna? Cool isn't it? It's like one of the James Bond toys out there. It's a watch with a built-in walkie talkie features.

Walkie Talkie Watches : 007 Gadget? : MobileWhack.com

Not James Bond. Dick Tracy. Tracy was a doddering old man before James Bond came along. Still fighting crime, of course. But in a doddering way. Dick Tracy's wrist radio was the future. In the 1930's. James Bond wasn't even little Jimmy yet. Gimme a break. Dick Tracy was a much bigger deal than James Bond ever was. He even had his own stamp. Show me a James Bond stamp, huh?

Hey, wait! I don't.

I am considering introducing an amendment to require everyone in the audience at "Peter Pan" to clap for Tinkerbell. I believe 99.8% of them do, but that's no reason not to amend the Constitution.

AlterNet: An Epic Week of Cutting and Running

Oh, Molly, Molly. Do I really have to? I mean, yeah, maybe I clapped once. The first time. I mean, everybody does. Don't they? But after that, well, it's just re-runs.

Isn't it?

Is there any way we could send the entire Senate back to the 7th grade?

Senate Democratic leadership yesterday planned to exclude Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) from a news conference promoting legislation she introduced until just hours before the event, according to today's Roll Call.

The Raw Story | Dems planned to exclude Clinton from press conference on bill she introduced

They'd feel a lot more at home there, and things would sure be a whole lot more peaceful around here. With any luck they'd all be kept after school and we wouldn't have to put up with them ourselves till near supper time. Then we could just feed then and send them to bed without TV.

The unimportant stuff, though, is pretty much on hold

In the meantime, the Department of Justice will continue to execute all of the important responsibilities on behalf of the American people.

RAIN OF TERROR: DAY 4, RIGHT? - Wonkette

Washingtonians - well, that would be D.C.ians, in this case - are in something of a panic over the last few days' rain, wondering just how accurate that Bible stuff really is and looking up the word, "cubit," on Wikipedia. Usually it's just the aides who get wet but, after this past few days, everybody's feeling downright soggy about now.

Still, there are some bright spots. Justice is still cranking out, well, justice, and the IRS reports via Wonkette, "the tax system continues to operate." So there's a relief.

Name that tune!

Sausage and sauce and spagnetti,

Bread and bananas and beans...

Also water will be wet again, up will revert to being up.

GM says zero percent not here to stay | Chicago Tribune

Nice headline, Trib.

It's a crisis!

The Citizens Flag Alliance, a group pushing for the Senate this week to pass a flag-burning amendment to the Constitution, just reported an alarming, 33 percent increase in the number of flag-desecration incidents this year.

The number has increased to four, from three.

In the Senate, Covering Themselves in Old Glory

Forget about this amendment idea. Issue fire extinguishers!

Pick your door.

And you wondered why everyone was so fluffy here in Massachusetts.

An amendment proposed by Sen. Jarrett Barrios to limit the availability of Fluff in schools sparked impassioned defense of the marshmallow spread, a lunch box staple for generations of New England children.

Massachusetts lawmaker drops opposition to Fluff - Boston.com

Now, I myself grew up on jelly. Peanut butter and jelly. Jelly is a whole different thing. Jelly is, well, jelly. Fluff is fluff.

Maybe this is why Trickshot's so grumpy all the time.

The company's letter to doctors indicates that it is too early to predict how often the current devices would fail. The pacemakers and defibrillators are part of a large family of increasingly sophisticated implantable electronic devices that can not only keep hearts beating steadily, but can sense a potentially fatal rhythm and deliver a sudden electrical kick to restart the heart.

Boston Scientific recalls pacemakers - The Boston Globe

Maybe he just keeps getting "sudden electrical kicks." (Sudden electrical kicks? Yikes!)

I don't know what the Constitution has to say about electrically defective Vice Presidents but it might be something worth looking in to. Soon.

It would have to be from southern Illinois, I guess.

Cogswell tells Illinois' Daily Southtown newspaper that one of her favorites is a berry-laden Patriotic Twinkie Pie.

Twinkie Burritos? Twinkie Lasagna? - Boston.com

When my son was a tyke (better not tell him I said that) he told me one day he'd had a terrible nightmare the night before. "What was it about?", I asked. He said, "Twinkies filled with peas." If anybody finds that in the new "Twinkies Cookbook" let me know. I probably won't be buying it myself. Not that Twinkies lasagna doesn't sound delicious, understand.

(Notice how I got through this whole post without saying anything snide about patriotic twinkies?)

"Wonkette" wants to know.

Is Washington the pussiest city ever?

DNC Flood Damage Update: Club Survives Rain of Terror - Wonkette

I don't know about pussiest but ever, for sure.

Sounds like a baby boom in Italy.

He combined all the technologies into the Bambini Revolution. It will clear snow, scrape ice smooth and leave a layer of water on the ice to bring it to a glassy finish. The scraper blade smooths the bumps from ice and pipes release heated water that bonds to the existing ice, leaving a smooth skating surface as it hardens.

Man creates backyard Zamboni - Boston.com

Bambini Revolution! Woohoo! But it's not about the kiddies, it's about ice. Making an ice rink in your  back yard. (But wait! Like one of those things they sell on late night TV, it can also clear driveways (!) mow lawns (!) and spread liquid fertilizer (!!).) And for $30,000 you can hardly afford to be without one.

Let me know when you've got one. I might come over and borrow it some day.

No wonder!

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Cell phone emissions excite the part of the brain cortex nearest to the phone, but it is not clear if these effects are harmful, Italian researchers reported on Monday.

Cell phone signals excite brain: study - Yahoo! News

I thought my cortex has been feeling a little, you know, spry since I've been using a cell phone. "Spry" is a cool word, isn't it? Sounds like something you spray in a pan. Fry with Spry! Anyway. What was I saying there before my cortex ran away with me? Oh, yeah. I have a jacket with cortex in it. I wouldn't call it excitable, exactly, but it's sorta neat. And a pair of boots, I think. With cortex. Maybe I should try standing on my phone.

The researchers in the article, by the way, say they have no idea what any of this means but they feel very turned on.

There's Dubya, getting all pouty again.

"The American people expect this government to protect our constitutional liberties and at the same time make sure we understand what the terrorists are trying to do," Bush said. He said that to figure out what terrorists plan to do, "You try to follow their money. And that's exactly what we're doing and the fact that a newspaper disclosed it makes it harder to win this war on terror."

Bush Slams Leak of Terror Finance Story

So what I'm trying to figure out is this. Why don't the Bushies just say, "Hey, terrorists, we're watching everything you do, heh heh heh."? So they'd be afraid to do anything, wouldn't they? We couldn't catch them, of course, but then we wouldn't have to catch them because they'd be afraid to do anything. And of course we really wouldn't have to watch them either, as long as we said we were. Then it would be a bad thing if the newspaper spilled the beans ("they're not really watching"). But if we are really watching and the newspaper says "yeah they're really watching" doesn't that, I don't know, like, help?

Are they really that dumb? (No, I'm not talking about the Bushies. LOL! I'm talking about the terrorists. Dumb.)

Anyway, the really funny part (now I'm talking about the Bushies) is when they say, "don't worry, it's all perfectly legal." Like if you're walking down the street with a great big bag of the bank's money and some cop stops you and you say, "don't worry, Officer, it's all perfectly legal."

Oh, well OK then. Have a nice day.

PS. Come to think of it, though, I'd be unhappy too if the New York Times told everybody the sign on my front door, "Beware Vicious, Cranky Dog," is a fake.

Do they do or do they don't?

"Maybe they will, maybe they won't," he said. "It really does depend upon a whole series of things that we cannot at this juncture predict. I would characterize this more in terms of scenario building and we'll see how it proceeds."

White House plays down Iraq withdrawal talk - Yahoo! News

I think it was Nixon, wasn't it, who campaigned for re-election saying he had a plan to end the war in Vietnam but couldn't reveal what it was. Now these bozos plan to campaign, it appears, saying they don't have a plan. Go figure.

Mope squad.

The seven alleged plotters were mostly unemployed men from a poor suburb of Miami who had no weapons, explosives or money, and were so disorganised they asked their "al-Qaida" contact for uniforms and boots for their "Islamic army", and a camera to take pictures of their target.

Herald Sun: Terror plan farcical [25jun06]

"It is unclear," this story from the (Australian) Herald Sun continues, "whether the Sears Tower attack was suggested by the suspects or the undercover agent."

All this blog reading got you down, Bunky?

Well then, take a break.

Good for green (and other colors).

Contrary to popular belief, overcast days are better for shooting color than bright, sunny ones. There are two reasons that's so. One is, there's less "glare" (specular reflection) on overcast days. The other, color film (yeah, I said film) has a narrower exposure latitude than black-and-white film, which means it does not respond as well to high-contrast compositions. Digital color does not seem to suffer so much in contrasty situations as film does but, as a general rule, the limitations of color film have educated us to expect lower contrast in color images.

Geezers too! What about the geezers?

Attorneys general of 22 states have called on the sites to set more boundaries for interactions between users, and this week Congress is scheduled to hold two days of hearings on how to make the Internet safe for kids.

TIME.com: How Safe is MySpace? -- Jul 3, 2006 -- Page 1

"[One of the girls] took [a] gun out and put it to my head and told me to empty my pockets."

WAWS FOX30 Online - Jacksonville - Man Robbed by Teen Girls, Thought He was Meeting MySpace Friend

Between Signs

No parking between any of them, I'm assuming this means. Be advised.

Next thing, those goofy Ds will start calling the plan a plan.

The period from the summer of 2007 through the summer of 2008 was described as a time when the emphasis would be on the restoration of the Iraqi government's authority. The period from the summer of 2008 though the summer of 2009 was cast as one in which the Iraqi government would be increasingly self-reliant.

U.S. General in Iraq Outlines Troop Cuts - New York Times

So if we're gonna be restoring the Iraqi government's authority next year what are we doing this year, you man ask. Well, we're doing advanced planning this year. Although it's not really planning, it's more like forecasting. And anyway we have an election to win this year.

Those retro solutions will get you nowhere.

"They cannot solve the issue of Afghanistan based on their wisdom and thinking," said a speaker on the tape whom Geo said was Omar.

Newsvine - Taliban Tape Criticizes Afghan Government

Nobody's doing wisdom and thinking any more.

Flame Wars: The Sequel

The invention is reliant on special headlights with built-in LEDs. Via these lights, you could send a message to the car in front of you, as long as that car has a special encoding modulator. The car would then speak the message to the driver.

I4U News - Sony Patents Car Communication Invention