12.31.2014

This was so much fun the first time around, let's do it again

Sony hackers threaten attack on US news organization | New York Post

“…previous messages posted by the hackers suggest that the anonymous media organization is in fact CNN…"

Will hackers make watching Wolf Blitzer your patriotic duty next? The year may be ending but the excitement goes on.

Fantastic

From blurb for sci-fi flick called the Philadelphia Experiment:

"In 1943, a secret government project attempted to create a cloaking device that would make warships invisible. During the first test, the USS Eldridge vanished completely, never to be found again.…"

Still time to waste this year

Say Goodbye to 2014 With These Weird Internet Clocks - The Atlantic

There was a time, a long, long, very long time ago…

…when “woman drivers are terrorists” would have been the punchline for a joke.

Saudi Women Drivers Sent to Terrorism Court - Atlantic Mobile

"Two Saudi women, who have been detained for nearly a month after defying a ban on female drivers, were referred on Thursday to a court established to try terrorism cases, according to the BBC. "

But not now. Of course. Stop! DON’T THROW THAT.

Half moderately confident is not exactly a rave review (but Congress is worse)

2014's Dumbest Local Ordinances - CityLab

"Fully 70 percent of Americans lacked faith in the federal government at the outset of the year, according to an Associated Press poll, yet over 50 percent felt at least 'moderately confident' in their local officials."

Avoiding work in the frozen North

Record for largest paper wad set in Minnesota

"The ball was built around a cardboard frame and held together with paper netting. In keeping with Guinness guidelines, no adhesives or tape was used."

Maybe next time just txt

I know he’s a doofus, but he’s so romantic | Boston Herald

"A man hired a crane to lift him up to his girlfriend’s bedroom window so he could propose to her in the central Dutch town of IJsselstein. But the crane fell over and destroyed the house. She said ‘yes’ anyway."

Veggies arrive

White Castle debuts new ‘Veggie slider’ | New York Post

"The longstanding fast food chain claims that each burger will be ‘chock full of lots of vegetables like carrots, zucchini, peas, spinach, broccoli, and more.’"

12.30.2014

Always with the questions

“Why sleep at home when you can sleep in Congress?” – Will Rogers | Shawn Stoller's Blog

This is the last straw

Our advice: Don't read this

Michael from the grocery store says, this morning:

It’s so cold out there I saw a chicken cross the street with a capon.

Hey, we warned you.

OK, now we're really confused

Why Singles Should Say ‘I Don’t’ to The Self-Marriage Movement - The Daily Beast

"These (roughly) $2,500 ceremonies are supposedly about encouraging ‘positive feelings’ on the part of the single brides. It seems more like a makeover though, because there’s an option of renting a ‘decorative’ man, aged between 20 and 70 to pose alongside you if you so wish."

Imagine our relief

Possum Drop won't ring in 2015 with live animal - NY Daily News

"BRASSTOWN, N.C. — For most of the past 20 years, a live animal has been used in a small North Carolina town's annual New Year's Eve Possum Drop. But this year, following challenges from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, the organizer says he'll no longer use a live opossum — instead, it'll be a road-kill opossum or perhaps a pot of opossum stew."

But hey, that whole North Korea angle sure sold a lot of tickets

Firm blames Sony hack on canned employee - NY Daily News

"Norse’s research directly contradicts claims made by the FBI and President Obama, who have maintained the attack was carried out by the authoritarian regime."

12.29.2014

Down beyond the mountains


We have completed, for yet another year, the Christmas cinema trifecta

A Christmas Story, the 1983 version (accept no substitutes), is on our official blog movie list. Not one kiss in the whole thing.

Miracle on 34th Street, 1947 (see above, and beware the 1994 remake), includes a kiss, but it’s right at the end. You can avoid it if you turn the movie off when the little girl runs into the house (you’ll know when it happens). And anyway, the story’s over by then. So, carefully watched, it’s OK.

It’s a Wonderful Life the FBI called it a communist plot in it’s day—but it’s much worse than that. It’s very likely the sappiest movie ever made, and it’s riddled with kissing. Avoid it if you can.

And Happy New Year.

Mopping up in Chicago

Bears fire GM Phil Emery, coach Marc Trestman | Chicago

"Unable to overcome a rash of injuries in both seasons and overseeing a regression in quarterback Jay Cutler after he was signed to a seven-year, $127 million contract in January, Trestman becomes the first Bears coach to be fired after fewer than three seasons since the end of the George Halas era."

New Yorker wants to ride train, makes front-page news

Ticket to ride: Greenfield transplant looks forward to hopping train home from New York | The Recorder

"‘I plan to ride the train whenever I come home,’ said Ashley Tetreault, 29, of Queens, N.Y."

And I thought it was just Canada leaking again

Cold week ahead for Oklahoma | News OK

"Tuesday night will see lows in the teens. Winds will be gusty Monday night, Tuesday and Tuesday night making wind chills near or below zero degrees, the service reported."

It’s going to be cold here, too. Maybe it’s Oklahoma’s fault.

There's that

President’s Test: Family Vacation With Teenage Girls - NYTimes.com

"‘It’s an oxymoron to have a ‘family vacation’ with two teenagers,’ said Madeline Levine, a psychologist and author of ‘The Price of Privilege.’"

And don't ask about Mouse Island, Maine

To ring in the New Year, Pennsylvania town plans to drop giant nail in honor of ex-local mill | Fox News

"The inaugural nail drop joins a host of creative New Year's Eve traditions in neighboring towns, such as the dropping of a giant wrench in Mechanicsburg and a huge pickle in Dillsburg."

(Or a lot of other places we could name.)

Got those darn Republicans right where we want them, Obama says

Obama: America 'less racially divided' since 2009 | Fox News

"‘Now you've got Republicans in a position where it's not enough for them simply to grind the wheels of Congress to a halt and then blame me,' he said."

Guess that’ll show ‘em.

(And other fairly weird stuff.)

12.28.2014

You knew this was gonna happen, right?

Join Seth Rogen, James Franco and Evan Goldberg as they live-Tweet #TheInterview today at 2pm PST

Of course you did.

One of our new benches (see below)

Actually, the only one. So far.

It looks pretty difficult to sleep on unless you're really short or really curly. And it's really uncomfortable to sit on. So it just might work.

And if it doesn't, the top (which is metal) might work as an emergency barbecue grill.

How can we get this guy to move here?

French mayor puts cages on benches to dissuade homeless - NY Daily News

"Some locals backed the move to 'restore public order', but a former French lawmaker, Guillame Garot, said 'this is not France' and one twitter user quipped that next year the fences will be electrified."

We go through this cycle about once every five years:

1) Somebody decides there should be benches on Main Street.

2) Benches get installed.

3) People complain about who’s sitting on the benches.

4) The benches get un-installed.

I’ve never figured out if they save the benches to use in the next cycle, but there’s a significant amount of labor cost nonetheless. These cages sound like a good, economical idea.

Currently, there are no benches on Main Street. I read the other day about a new plan to install some.

12.27.2014

But no ticket yet, so, overall…

…good news.

Because what's the rush?

Mathematicians find a cheaper, slower way to get to Mars

We would have guessed rounding error, but…

Some Guy in Seattle writes:

Ok, so explain this to me like I’m the village idiot. I can see fining Marshawn for being crude, but $11,050? What’s up with the $50? Was the NFL short about $50 this month?

…since you point out Detroit Lions defensive end Ziggy Ansah was fined $22,050, a similarly curious amount, for an infraction the same week, we’re thinking probably they just ran out of pretzels in the commissioner’s box.

Avoid work at the speed of light

15 Iphone (sic) Apps To Be Even Lazier in 2015

"Luckily there is a slew of tech entrepreneurs (wunderkinds and wannabes alike) out to help us on this noble mission."

Crank up that popcorn machine, Maud

First, a noisy spat with (maybe) North Korea turns watching a B-grade buddy movie into some kind of national obligation ("Call it a blow for capitalism over a communist dictatorship!” blurbs the New York Daily News). Now Egypt gets into the act, banning the movie, Exodus, for “historical inaccuracies” and Pakistan joins the fun, getting all furious over the TV show, Homeland, “ which they say portrays their country as an ugly, ignorant, terror-plagued ‘hellhole’,” according to the New York Post. 

Looks like the birth of a whole new marketing plan to me. Maybe we can get the Art Institute to call for a boycott of Big Eyes.

12.26.2014

"Peace on earth" is so yesterday

Fischer: Jesus Would Support The Use Of Torture | Right Wing Watch

"'Christianity is not a pacifist religion,' Fischer said. "

And non-fattening, too

Relaxing Ambient Bacon Sounds - BaconSizzling.com

The poetry of work avoidance

This

This is not very interesting
But if
You have read this far already
You will
Probably
Read as far as this:
And still
Not really accomplishing
Anything at all…

-more-

Is it stupid to buy a tomato in December, in New England?

Well, yes. Actually it’s stupid to buy a tomato around here at any time of the year. I haven’t seen a decent store-bought tomato in a decade, at least. But it looked good and I couldn’t resist. So what I’m having for lunch is a bologna and cardboard sandwich, on whole wheat. And hooray for the guy who invented mustard. 

Nothing is forever

Jeb Bush resigns from company that cashed in on Obamacare - NY Daily News

"The company paid Bush $2.3 million from 2007-13, not including lucrative stock worth several million more, according to American Thinker."

12.25.2014

OK, just for an hour or so…

…classical Christmas music from iTunes radio while I’m chopping up the veggies for jambalaya.

Chrysler is now an "outpost"

Chrysler Renamed FCA US LLC in North America

"The name change aligns the company's North American outpost with its global parent company, which earlier this year was renamed Fiat Chrysler Automobiles N.V. (FCA)."

Free speech bombs, says Post

Viewers should take a pass on ‘The Interview’ | New York Post

"‘5 minutes into The Interview, I am considering calling to request a bombing of my TV,’ comedian Lamarr Wilson tweeted."

12.24.2014

Merry Christmas to All, From the Midwest and Elsewhere Bureau!

NORAD tracks Santa

Official NORAD Santa Tracker

Because of course.

Buckeyes are nuts

Officials order Ohio man to take down zombie Nativity scene

If you get going now, there's still time

Need to Detect Santa Claus? This Patent Can Help

"And, as the owner of the patent stopped paying its fees sometime over the last two decades, its design has entered the public domain. You, too, can install a Santa Claus Detector in your home, and you won’t even be breaking the law."

Maybe the most amusing part of the whole Sony hack story…

Meet Lizard Squad, the group that may have helped North Korea hack Sony

"In those initial weeks, the hackers showed a remarkable understanding of how to manipulate the American media into covering the emails. It was always strange to imagine North Korean hackers being that savvy about American media."

…is the so-called media’s puppyish faith it’s difficult to manipulate. Seriously. It’s kind of touching.

12.23.2014

Know somebody who has everything?

We think not.

Our policy is…

…go out and do your errands now when it’s just raining a little because tomorrow it might be raining a lot. And even more Thursday. Our forecast here is not for a white Christmas, but warm and muddy. Which is fine with me (I make a lousy New Englander; I don’t like apples much either, and cranberries you can keep). We have, in fact, had a fairly mild December, which is also fine with me. 

Bacon bowls? Really?

Perfect Bacon™ Bowl | Official TV Site

But not for soup, this woman claims.

If you're looking for a movie this weekend…

…and you haven’t seen Jersey Boys yet see, well, Jersey Boys

Who needs ISIS when we've got TSA?

Delta baggage handler accused of smuggling guns - CNN.com

"Atlanta (CNN) -- A baggage handler for Delta Air Lines moved a lot more than just luggage, authorities say -- he also helped smuggle firearms.
"And his accomplice managed to board a flight with 18 guns and ammunition in his carry-on bag, an affidavit states."

(Emphasis added.)

The train! The train!

Amtrak arrives in Greenfield: First run full of celebration | The Recorder

"Drivers waited at railroad crossings and residents leaned out of their homes along the tracks Monday as an Amtrak passenger train rumbled through…"

Imagine the joy.

How many guesses do we get?

What causes a beer belly?

Let's hear it for Bears' "closer loss"

Chicago Bears tap Jimmy Clausen and TV ratings climb - Chicago Business Journal

"But this was a different kind of loss for the Bears.
For one thing, it was a closer loss than most this season."

Nicely done, Apple

Apple pushes first ever automated security update to Mac users | Reuters

"'The update is seamless,' he said. 'It doesn’t even require a restart.'"

A notification popped up this morning and it took me a few minutes to figure out why. This. And, good.

12.22.2014

But does she get frequent rider points?

D.C. judge resorts to matchmaking in effort to end 30 years of 911 calls - The Washington Post

"Since the 1980s, Rigsby, 59, has logged thousands of 911 calls and ambulance rides for apparent fainting spells that have sent her falling to the ground. Medical and mental health experts have disagreed about what causes the episodes."

Can you spell "corrupt"?

That’s rich! Why so many wealthy Americans think they’re middle class - Salon.com

“[Treasury Secretary Jack] Lew was given a $940,000 bonus from Citigroup in the same week the bank received a $300 billion bailout from the federal government."

It's stuff you should already know…

Why Your Passwords Are Easy To Hack | TIME

…but if you haven’t already got one of the password managers mentioned here (I like 1Password), get with the program. 

Does Jen forgive Angie or does she not?

It’s driving me nuts. Also, it’s driving up my grocery bill. I have to keep going through the line to find out. 

Whoever settles this will probably get a Nobel prize.

And deserve it.

And we still have ten days to go

This Is the Stupidest Anti-Science Bullshit of 2014 | Mother Jones

Don't confuse us with the facts

Security experts: FBI report light on evidence linking North Korea to Sony hack (+video) - CSMonitor.com

"Many prominent names in the field, Graham and others, took to Twitter to express their concern. 'I'm completely underwhelmed by the FBI's 'proof' attributing Sony attack to North Korea,' Graham tweeted from his @ErrataRob account.  "

We're not holding our breath

NBA prepares for Christmas coming-out party

Keeps on giving

Gun Range Billboard Features Santa Claus Packing Heat

"Co-owner Steve Dyke said the local gun range had to come up with something creative to attract customers."

12.21.2014

Ho ho ho

iTunes lists the movie, Die Hard, as an “alternative Christmas classic.” In case you’re looking for something alternative to watch.

Bottoms up

Ohio ranked 10th best state where Santa could relocate when polar ice caps melt - Toledo Blade

"Washington ranked No. 1 because… ‘When it comes to eggnog consumption, there’s no state that’s more enthused for this alcoholic holiday beverage than the Evergreen State…"

So when they say the officials stole the game…

State school athletics group doesn’t conduct criminal background checks on referees - Sports - The Boston Globe

Who's naughty or nice

US mulls putting NKorea on terrorism sponsor list

"Pledging to respond 'proportionately,' the president said the U.S. would examine the facts to determine whether North Korea should land back on the terrorism sponsors list."

Didn't he say this six years ago?

Obama vows 'do everything I can' to close Guantanamo: CNN interview - Yahoo News

"Obama promised to shut the internationally condemned prison when he took office nearly six years ago…"

That’s what I thought.

And now, more light each day

Big Christmas storm remains likely across the eastern United States and into Canada - The Washington Post

"Given temperatures running way above normal across much of the eastern United States (it could be the warmest Christmas Eve in a long time for New England), the predominant precipitation type from this storm system is likely to be rain. Even up north of the border."

In Japan, it's a dog's life

Japan’s pet owners shower furry ones with holiday gifts, cakes and even vacations - The Washington Post

"It’s not unusual to see people pushing a dog, or three, in a stroller. Like baby strollers, they come in a wide variety, from the basic $80 model to the SUV-equivalent with air-filled tires and the option of facing forward or to the rear. The Primo ‘pet buggy’ with bassinet function costs upwards of $400."

A little too much nog

Elf found passed out facing drunk driving charges | New York Post

"Lt. James Macintosh says the Cedar Grove man was asleep behind the wheel of a van with its engine running, lights on and music blaring. He says Chellis was in a red shirt, red pants, and white ruffled collar."

But what if he’d passed out facing away from the charges?

12.20.2014

Headquarters-tested and approved

Chocolate Chip Cricket Cookies — Six Foods

And a good time was had by all.

Remember the Alamo, Remember the Maine, and now…

…Remember The Interview? Really?

Commentary: Sony's fear and 'The Interview' decision set terrible precedent - San Jose Mercury News

"'They will not have just won this battle, but they will be emboldened to continue the war, from hacking to intimidating us, to more violent means,' said Carole Lieberman, a psychiatrist and author of 'Coping with Terrorism: Dreams Interrupted.' 'We are now being seen as a cowering nation and terrorists from Korea to the Middle East are laughing at us.'"

Give us a break. How is Sony Pictures “us”?

(In fact. from Wikipedia…

Sony Pictures Entertainment Inc. (SPE) is the American entertainment subsidiary of Japanese multinational technology and media conglomerate Sony.

Just pointing out.)

And now we’re supposed to do what, go to war over some freaking movie company? Because otherwise the terrorists will win?

Get a grip.

Modern conveniences

Politician ‘follows’ porn star, says Twitter account was hacked | New York Post

"County Executive Steve Bellone said that is how the 19-year-old Duke University student and porn actress ended up as one of the 267 people on his ‘following’ list."

Now we can just blame Kim Jong Un for everything.

12.19.2014

"Heir to the P.T. Barnum ideological fortune"

Noted by our Pacific Rim Bureau chief, from the Seattle Times:

Over-the-top enhancement plan is ripe for roasting | Ron Judd

"Clearly determined to make himself more synonymous with ‘roasting’ than a tipsy Dean Martin, established non-Seattleite Howard Schultz…the somewhat-ingenious peddler of the $5 coffee drink, announced a new plan to (literally) double the bucks in Starbucks with a new line of ‘Reserve’ beans and ‘Roasteries’ with all sorts of imaginary special qualities."

Headquartered as we are in a town with not just fewer than 42 but zero Starbucks outlets, we can only wonder at the magnificence of it all. Imagine:

“The half-again-more-costly magical brew will be roasted in Extraordinarily Special Supercalifragilistic machinery, then dispensed via copper pneumatic tubing…"

That ain’t just Joe.

Almost as bad as trying to hold up a donut store

Kentucky woman arrested for shoplifting at a 'Shop with a Cop' event

"A Kentucky woman was in jail on Wednesday after authorities caught her trying to shoplift merchandise while her son took part in a 'Shop with a Cop' event."

Is this the stupidest headline ever written?

US not fully prepared for nuclear terrorist attack

"'This report makes clear that there are some areas of our country's preparedness that need strengthening up,' said Sen. Bob Casey, D-Pa., who co-chairs the Senate Caucus on Weapons of Mass Destruction Terrorism."

I think we’ve found it!

Also, who knew there was a Senate Caucus on Weapons of Mass Destruction Terrorism? Does this mean there’s also a Senate caucus on not weapons of mass destruction terrorism? 

12.18.2014

Shut up and eat your ketchup

Can Malnutrition Be Solved With Enriched Condiments?

OK, that, but…

Ted Cruz & Marco Rubio humiliate themselves on Cuba: Inside their Guantanamo hypocrisy - Salon.com

"It’s absolutely true that the most most notorious prison camp on the planet is in Cuba — but it’s run by the U.S. Government. "

Indeed

Mourir pour Sony? | The XX Committee

"Apparently we are supposed to regard the cancellation of a dumb movie as The Worst Thing Ever, since it involves surrender to an ugly regime and its evil ways. The great and the good are now exhorting President Obama to do something about this outrage and teach North Korea to behave. The hideousness of Pyongyang is no more ‘news’ than learning that Hollywood is full of idiots. What exactly the moral outrage contingent wants Washington, DC. to do about Sony’s prostration before the prophets of juche is far from clear."

Ya think?

Sony’s International Incident: Making Kim Jong-un’s Head Explode - NYTimes.com

"Sony’s executives now say they knew that basing a film on the assassination of a living national leader — even a ruthless dictator — had inherent risks."

Based on Sony’s trailer for the movie, The Interview, (maybe it’s still around, maybe it got yanked along with the film itself), we just might owe North Korea a debt of gratitude here. And I don’t mean just for the juicy executive quotes. Either that or possibly I’m just out of touch with what’s funny these days. (OK, you can put your hands down now.)

The usual suspects

Marco Rubio’s fury over the Cuba shift shows why Obama made the right move - The Washington Post

"He threatened to use his new position as a subcommittee chairman on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to block the nomination of an ambassador to Cuba and the building of an embassy there, and he said the better policy would be to increase the Soviet-era sanctions."

File under Stuff You Can Never Unsee

Chicago taxi drivers pose in risqué calendar - NY Daily News

And how many student loans would that be?

Michigan offers Harbaugh 6-year, $48 million deal - NY Daily News

Of course, for $48 million maybe they could finally beat Ohio State, so maybe it’s worth it after all.

First things first

U.S.-Cuba deal caps cigar imports at $100, bans tourism - NY Daily News

"The new U.S.-Cuba deal ends a long-standing ban on importing Cuban tobacco and eases traditionally tense travel bans — but bringing back cigars in bulk and tourism are still off limits.

"The policy change, annouced Wednesday, allows American travelers to bring back $400 worth of goods from Cuba, but it puts a $100 cap on tobacco and alcohol.…

"Plus, $100 doesn't go very far: In Cuba, a box of Cohibas runs between $130 and $150, Welsch estimated."

Any chance of bringing this guy back?

Barry Goldwater - Wikiquote

"Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they're sure trying to do so, it's going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can't and won't compromise. I know, I've tried to deal with them."

Never thought I’d be nostalgic for Goldwater. (A lot more at the link, above.)

12.17.2014

Already

Jeb Bush Wants a Tougher Cuban Embargo | Mother Jones

"It's no surprise that Bush pounced to attack the shift in policy. A few weeks ago, Bush said that the current prohibitions on travel and trade are too loose and that the US government should clamp down harder on the Castro regime."

I have no idea

Merry Christmas, Fox News; this'll keep you going at least until the end of the year

Undernews: America finally talking with Cuba

"US and Cuba are to start talks to normalise diplomatic ties in a historic shift in relations between the two countries, media reports say.…

"US President Barack Obama is making a statement later. "

Da Coach on Da Bears

4 Downs with Ditka: 'I turned the game off' | Chicago Sun-Times

Can we get a do-over?

Chocolate Chip Mint: Anything?

Now we get to the really terrifying stuff

Trebek threatened to quit ‘Jeopardy’: Sony emails | Page Six

Our fearless forecast

Jeb Bush and the Base: It’s More About Persona Than Policies - NYTimes.com

"Mr. Bush could still win even if Tea Party supporters opposed him by a wide margin."

If Bush declares he will win the Republican primary and very possibly win the 2016 general election, especially if his opponent then is Clinton. There. Let’s not have any more discussion of this: That’s our story and we’re sticking to it.

ADD: This this was posted before I learned about today’s announcements involving relations with Cuba. I’m doubling down.

Who cares where it comes from? Let's build a pipeline!

There may actually be life on Mars, according to Curiosity’s new methane data | ExtremeTech

"This methane, which was detected by the Curiosity rover, can only really come from two places: Geological activity… or life."

As long as it doesn’t come through here. We’re opposed to pipelines here. Also, we’re opposed to any source of energy except, currently, the sun. So we’re hoping it stops raining soon.

If we could do fracking on Mars, we might be OK with that.

Yoo runs for cover

Torture memo author John Yoo admits CIA may have gone too far

"John Yoo, the former Justice Department lawyer who authored a series of notorious memos cited by the Bush administration to justify the torture of terrorism detainees, acknowledged on Sunday that the CIA may have broken the law."

Is it too late for Occupy Parking?

Greenfield to hold lottery for “premium” parking permits | The Recorder

"Lane Kelly, Greenfield’s finance director, said the town will designate about half of the spaces in four of the town’s downtown parking lots as ‘premium’ spaces in an effort to open up space and make it easier for people who shop, dine, volunteer or go to the movies to find a place to park. They also aim to make it easier to find parking for people who plan to take the train when Amtrak returns to Greenfield."

A triumph of medical science

John McCain: The Anti-Cheney on Torture - NYTimes.com

"Last Friday, after the publication of the Senate Intelligence Committee report on the Central Intelligence Agency’s history of torture and deceit post-9/11, Senator John McCain, the Arizona Republican who was tortured as a prisoner in North Vietnam, appeared on the Charlie Rose show.

"Watching was like taking an anti-Cheney pill."

12.16.2014

I sailed to France on thiis ship in 1958

SS United States is being prepared for a new life

"The SS United States was launched in 1952 as the world's fastest ocean liner, and it still holds the record for speediest trans-Atlantic voyage. The ship was partially funded by the Navy with the idea that it could be converted one day into an extremely efficient troop transporter."

Who says the universe is expanding?

No, this is not suspicious or anything

Men Who Love Spicy Food Have More Testosterone | TIME

Sounds fair to me

Native American Council Offers Amnesty to 220 Million Undocumented Whites - The Daily Currant

"'Any white person with a criminal record, however, will be deported in the next 90 days back to their ancestral homeland. Rush Limbaugh will be going to Germany. Justin Bieber will depart for Canada. And the entire cast of Jersey Shore will be returning to Italy.'"

Now nut rage? Really?

Korean Air to be sanctioned for nut rage cover-up - Yahoo News

"Cho, who was head of cabin service at Korean Air, ordered a senior flight attendant off a Dec. 5 flight after she was served macadamia nuts in a bag, instead of on a plate, in what she thought was a breach of service protocol in first class."

The high speed train from Vermont…

…will finally be here December 22, we’re told, although it won’t actually be from Vermont, it’ll  be from right here. The Vermont part has been indefinitely postponed and maybe, just maybe, changed to Montreal. But just three days before Christmas, the high speed train will be here. Santa Claus won’t be aboard. The Governor will.

Down at the John W. Olver International Bus Station work is furiously underway to build a platform beside the track. The track runs right by the bus station which, when it was built a few years ago with stimulus money, was intended to be a train station too, but nobody thought to build the platform because it was imagined back then, we suppose, the train would never actually arrive. But now we know it will. December 22.

There’s no time (and perhaps no money) to build a permanent platform by the track so construction of a temporary platform is hurriedly underway. From the looks of it, it’s intended to be temporary for a long, long time.

But no matter. The high speed train will leave from here on December 22 around 1:30 PM and arrive in New York City about 6:30, in plenty of time for a fashionably late East Coast supper and perhaps a show. There is no return train until the next morning, so take your jammies if you go.

Yes. The high speed train will whisk you from here to New York City in five hours flat. Or, if you prefer, you can drive it (according to Google) in a little over three.

Rah rah

A Not-So-Brief and Extremely Sordid History of Cheerleading | Mother Jones

"1911: Harvard President A. Lawrence Lowell describes cheerleading as 'the worst means of expressing emotion ever invented.' In response, The Nation defends the activity: 'The reputation of having been a valiant 'cheer-leader' is one of the most valuable things a boy can take away from college. As a title to promotion in professional or public life, it ranks hardly second to that of being a quarterback.'"

Gotta love that Wisconsin cuisine

Wisconsin man tells fish story during drunken driving stop | Reuters

"(Reuters) - A Wisconsin man told a sheriff's deputy he had not been drinking, but rather eating beer-battered fish when he was pulled over for what could be his 10th drunken driving offense, according to an incident report released on Wednesday."

12.15.2014

This may be as funny as it gets the rest of this year

Sony demands halt to reporting from leaked documents | Reuters

"The studio 'does not consent to your possession, review, copying, dissemination, publication, uploading, downloading or making any use' of the information, Boies wrote in the letter, according to the New York Times report."

John Yoo's Come-to-Jesus moment

Even Torture Memo Author John Yoo Thinks Rectal Feeding Was Illegal

Take a Monday night off

Chicago Bears host New Orleans Saints Monday night | abc7chicago.com

"It's a matchup between two of the league's most disappointing teams."

Ouch

The Insiders: Lena Dunham, another example of the left’s decay - The Washington Post

"As best I can tell, Lena Dunham is the Miley Cyrus of condescending, phony intellectuals."

Just for people older than you

Lost in the Fifties- Another Time, Another Place - Safeshare.TV

12.14.2014

A treat

Paris, City of Light, in Black and White (Photos) - The Daily Beast

Just as we suspected

Yak Dung Is Making Climate Change Worse

"Cult hit" is almost always a bad sign, moviewise

26 Streaming Shows You Should Get Addicted to This Winter | TIME

"After many requests, Netflix secured the rights to the newest British cult hit Happy Valley."

“British cult hit” is just plain terrifying.

A matter of definition

Opinion: The case against publishing hacked Sony e-mails - CSMonitor.com

"We’re not talking about whistleblowing or related matters of political import where important discussions need to be had. This is nothing more than privacy evisceration courtesy of media opportunism."

When we’re talking about my stuff it’s privacy.

When we’re talking about your stuff it’s transparency.

See how that works?

End-of-year lists are even more boring that everyday lists, except maybe a few

The Least Fascinating People of 2014 - NY Daily News

"Down here in the tabloid trenches, we also must deal daily with people who somehow keep getting their names in the news, but who hold, frankly, no fascination whatsoever."

Trickshot Dick misses again

Dick Cheney Was Lying About Torture - Mark Fallon - POLITICO Magazine

"As special agent in charge of the criminal investigation task force with investigators and intelligence personnel at Guantanamo Bay, Afghanistan, and Iraq, I was privy to the information provided by Khalid Sheik Mohammed. I was aware of no valuable information that came from waterboarding.…Cheney’s claim that the frequent waterboarding of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed ‘produced phenomenal results for us' is simply false."

This whole “torture works” crowd is just plain embarrassing. 

12.13.2014

Cute

U.S. pastor against gay-marriage dresses horse up in wedding gown

"'Do you take this horse to be your unnatural wedded spouse to have and to hold,' one of his signs read."

Will this nonsense ever end? It doesn’t seem likely. While washing dishes a while ago I cranked up a (pretty nifty) app called TuneIn Radio on my iPhone and started listing to something called Redstate Talk Radio, a conservative site dedicated, seemingly, to 40-year old boys giggling. I never got the joke. Maybe I just didn’t have enough dirty dishes. But I’m sure it was at least as funny as a horse in a wedding gown. 

Not very, in other words.

You don't have to work for Sony to wind up with your foot in your mouth

REVIEW: Don’t Let Your People Go See Exodus: Gods and Kings | TIME

"‘I can’t mount a film of this budget [$130 million, plus about $70 million in tax rebates], and say that my lead actor is Mohammad so-and-so from such-and-such,’ [the film’s director] told Variety. "

Wait, what?

This Baby Sleeping on Top of a Santa Will Warm Your Heart | TIME

"Her mother, Jennifer Sawyer Genna of Abingdon, Md., told the paper that the youngster ‘passed out so Santa decided to take a ‘little snooze’ for her first picture!’"

Passed out? 

O'Rourke, all is forgiven

Up to a Point: They Made Me Write About Lena Dunham - The Daily Beast

"I lived in New York for fifteen years. No one had been to Brooklyn since the Dodgers left in 1957."

Beating the Christmas rush

Is This the End of Michele Bachmann? - Melinda Henneberger - POLITICO Magazine

"On Tuesday, in what the retiring congresswoman from Minnesota figured would be her last White House holiday party, Bachmann used the grip-and-grin moment when she got her picture taken with President Obama to raise a reliably grin-killing topic. ‘The U.S. needs to take out Iran’s nuclear facilities today,’ she informed him."

So sad to see her go.

Is this the party of the season?

The president, the panic, and the cromnibus - Jake Sherman and John Bresnahan - POLITICO

"The House Appropriations Committee, which wrote the bill, partied late into the night in its third-floor Capitol office suite."

Eh. Probably not.

Wait, New Hampshire has a football team?

New Hampshire tops Chattanooga 35-30 in FCS quarterfinals

"The top-seeded Wildcats scored twice in a span of 2 minutes, 19 seconds early in the fourth quarter to finally pull away in a 35-30 win over Chattanooga on Friday night in an FCS quarterfinal."

12.12.2014

First, strap your head on nice and tight

This Optical Illusion Video Will Make Your Surroundings Spin

[Noted by Some Guy in Seattle.]

A little late but still funny

cartoon141124-02_full_900x600.jpg 900×600 pixels

But you can't tell him much

Carr: You can always tell a Harvard man | Boston Herald

Plain words

The Torture Report is Only the First Step | Just Security

"In short, the ‘torture debate’ is over. The report teaches us that the costs of the program far outweighed any supposed benefits. We can no longer pretend that torture is somehow a necessary means to achieve some greater good. Nor, if the world continues to be populated by terrorist threats, is there is any way we can torture our way to security. And when torture is practiced regularly and systematically, it is no longer a means; it becomes the end in itself. As George Orwell wrote in Nineteen Eighty-Four: ‘The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture…. Now you begin to understand me.’"
String Theory
 
iPhone photo: Phil Compton

It's OK to break the law if you're scared

(Or really, really scared, according to rightish critics of the recently-released Senate torture report.)

Charles Krauthammer: A travesty of a torture report - NY Daily News

"In the aftermath of 9/11, there was nothing irrational about believing a second attack was a serious possibility…"

(Krauthammer also cites "a deadly anthrax attack of unknown origin” as something we were scared of, although not so scared we bothered to figure out who did it.)

And then the ever-dependable Trickshot Dick chimes in.

Dick Cheney: Senate ‘torture’ report ‘full of crap’ - NY Daily News

"'The report's full of crap,’ he added, before later admitting that he hadn’t even read it .…
""What are we supposed to do, kiss him on both cheeks and say, 'Please, please, tell us what you know?' Of course not," Cheney said."

Oh that Dick. Always good for a laugh.

12.11.2014

Sorry Sony

Sony emails target Obama and African-American films - San Jose Mercury News

"Rudin and Pascal aren't having the best week. Other emails between the pair surfaced earlier, including ones ripping Angelina Jolie."

Taking on Lara Croft too? Not bright.

And really, if this whole Sony hacking thing is about the not-yet-released film, The Interview, they’re not getting their money’s worth. Here’s the trailer. It looks like a really dumb movie to me.

Game on

Army vs. Navy football ‘spirit videos’: The good, the bad and the hilarious - The Washington Post

Creepy but somehow disturbing and just weird

Happy holidays, exclamation point, from the Joyes - Opinion - The Boston Globe

Our heart goes out

Wall Street in grip of Geithner nostalgia

Maybe not exactly the people we'd ask first

Psychologist says U.S. Senate's CIA report makes false charges | Reuters

"(Reuters) - One of the two psychologists who devised the CIA's harsh Bush-era interrogation methods said on Wednesday…"

Oh no! Oil is getting cheaper! (Imagine our dispair)

Oil resumes decline, falling toward $64, oversupply weighs | Reuters

"Crude prices sank on Wednesday as OPEC forecast an increasing supply surplus in 2015, U.S. crude inventories unexpectedly rose and OPEC's most influential voice, Saudi Arabia's oil minister, shrugged off the need for an output cut."

(But why am I thinking this isn’t likely to cut the cost of heating oil much?)

On the literary front

“The poetry of lust describes many inspirations: the moon, a stray wisp of hair; but only now and then cites haven’t done it for a long time."

–Alan Furst, Midnight in Europe

This much I agree with (the rest, eh)

If you would reap power, sow despair | RedState

"The shrieking alarms of ‘crisis’ and thunder of ‘warfare’ weaken our resistance to command.  That’s why every political initiative is portrayed as a dire emergency, or the moral equivalent of war.  You’ll notice that all those politicized ‘wars’ on domestic issues are eternal – there are no victory conditions or exit strategies."

If this doesn't make you fear Christmas, nothing will

Hipsters Are Hanging Christmas Tree Decorations From Their Beards (Photos)

"One of those sources is a London advertising agency that has begun to sell Beard Baubles, which are essentially ornaments for people who think Christmas trees have become a little too mainstream. "

The blissful world of advertising

From a package of liquid hand soap:


I can't wait.

12.10.2014

A dog and lentil soup

I made lentil and garlic soup for supper yesterday. It was a concept I ran across in a novel about the Spanish Civil War. The recipe I just made up, but what could go wrong with lentils and garlic anyway? Too much garlic. But only just a little bit too much. (Chop some garlic and cook it in a little oil at the bottom of the pan first, then add lentils and water, and simmer.)

Also chicken parts. When I make lentil soup I generally toss in a couple of chicken thighs, makes for a pretty good meal.

But I ate all the chicken last night and still had some lentil soup left. This is a problem akin to eating bread and honey. I happen to have more chicken parts, but they’re frozen. Hence the dog. 

This gives me an opportunity to also eat ketchup, an automatic second vegetable (thanks, St. Ronald!).

We're Republcans and we approve of rectal feeding

Republican Senate report: CIA 'saved lives' | Fox News

"‘We have no doubt the CIA’s detention program saved lives and played a vital role in weakening Al Qaeda while the Program was in operation,’ said the report written by Sens. Saxby Chambliss, R-Ga.; Richard Burr, R-N.C.; James Risch, R-Idaho; Dan Coats, R-Ind.; Marco Rubio, R-Fla.; and Tom Coburn, R-Okla."

Nuke the whales!

Honey, there's a nuclear bomb in the yard

"The US says its missiles are pointed to land in the middle of the ocean."

What could possibly go wrong?

12.08.2014

Mmmm

There’s nothing like chewing on a few icy-cold just-out-of-the-fridge leftover Brussels sprouts to make you want more meat.

Wait…they need a trick?

The Trick Big Food Uses To Get You To Buy Candy In The Checkout Aisle | ThinkProgress

The jolly, generous CEO of Exxon Mobil, on the other hand…

Santa Claus Should Earn More Than Your Mom: Study | Money.com

"If Santa was paid for the work he does, he'd make around $140,000 annually—a bit more than what moms would theoretically bring home, and twice what dad caregivers should earn."

gets $40.3 million.

And doesn’t have to drive reindeer. 

We give up

Louisiana's Moon Shot - ProPublica

"The state hopes to save its rapidly disappearing coastline with a 50-year, $50 billion plan based on science that’s never been tested and money it doesn’t have. What could go wrong?"

In passing

Here’s a book, Spam Nation, by Brian Krebs, which purports to be “the inside story of organized cybercrime” but really is about how Brian Krebs dares any hazard (“My hands had grown so cold I could no longer hold onto my beer glass…”) to promote his shiny new cybersecurity web site. It (the book—I don’t frequent the web site) won’t really tell you much about cybersecurity you don’t already know but it’s highly skimable and—in passing—offers a nifty takedown of the U.S. pharmaceutical industry. You can read it in a couple of days, easy. So, maybe.

I say let's put W, Cheney, and Rumsfeld on a stage and make THEM read this report, and then march them off to cells.

Mike Rogers predicts 'violence and deaths' if Senate releases report on CIA terror programs - Washington Times

"Gen. Michael Hayden, who served as CIA director under Mr. Bush from 2006 to 2009, rebutted claims that agency officials lied about the program during his tenure while acknowledging that the program’s details were ‘very complex.’"

And while we’re at it, that John Yoo, too.

Feeling a little sarcastic this morning, are we?

In the Arena: Resistant to change | The Recorder

"Greenfield taxpayers can nestle all snug in their beds this holiday season safe in the knowledge that the collective bargaining rights of public employees remain alive and well in their fair city."

12.06.2014

You can earn your 15 minutes of fame by doing just about anything

Artistic License – Futility Closet

"Before he died in an Amsterdam fire at age 31, Evans had painted nearly 4,000 stamps from 42 imaginary nations, bearing dates from 1852 to 1973."

So, not really

New racial profiling guidelines to exempt agents responsible for border checks, air passenger screens - Toledo Blade

“…the guidelines will not end the FBI’s ability to collect racial and ethnic information about neighborhoods, a practice known as ‘mapping’ that has long disquieted civil liberties advocates, said Laura Murphy, director of the ACLU’s Washington Legislative Office, who is familiar with the new policy."

Like, never?

Kerry urges caution over timing of releasing U.S. torture report | Reuters

Whew

I just looked at the weather page and it’s supposed to keep raining just about all day, which is a perfect excuse to go back to bed.

And I can do the laundry tomorrow. 

What we put up with

Night of holiday fun in Greenfield | The Recorder

"Santa Claus arrived at 5 p.m. sharp, guided not by Rudolph’s glowing nose, but the red strobe lights of a fire engine."

12.04.2014

Who is this Aaron Dobson (hamstring) and what is he being reserved for?

Source: Aaron Dobson (hamstring) to be placed on injured reserve | Boston Herald

Maybe I should spend more time with the sports pages.

So maybe the grand juries in Ferguson and Staten Island weren't so unusual after all?

I Told a Grand Jury I Saw a Cop Shoot and Kill an Unarmed Man. It Didn't Indict. | Mother Jones

"Many years ago, during the 1980s, I witnessed a killing: a New York City cop shooting an unarmed homeless man near the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I was later called as a grand jury witness in the case. The grand jury did not indict the officer."

This Toles cartoon about body cams is pretty funny…

Tom Toles: Political Cartoons from The Washington Post

…but even funnier might be waiting until the Defenders of Privacy figure out the cops are taking pictures of them just waking down the street. OMG! What if they catch you smoking when you’ve promised your insurance company you’ve quit? Or eating a donut? 

What if they’re beaming pictures to some three-letter federal agency? Or Roswell?

Pretty soon we’ll be needing full-body tinfoil suits.

How to get the email address you want

North Korea orders everyone sharing leader's name to change it: report | Reuters

"Kim Jong Un's name is not allowed for newborns and people who share the name must not just stop using it but must change it on their birth certificates and residence registrations, KBS reported, citing an official North Korean directive."

12.03.2014

Imagine our dismay

Business Leaders Hold Meeting To Complain That Corporations' Free Speech Is Under Attack | ThinkProgress

"Panelists for a session called Today’s Free Speech Environment repeatedly argued that shareholder efforts to enforce political contribution disclosure requirements are an attempt to silence the business community."

Emergency

Police: Homeless man charged after taking ambulance to visit strip club - Toledo Blade
"Pontiac police said Bryan Kryscio was arraigned Tuesday on a charge of unlawfully driving away an automobile."

Heat up the olive oil, says Some Guy

$1 Million World's Largest Truffle - Business Insider

"Just a few shavings of the coveted ingredient can cost hundreds of dollars in restaurants, according to CBS news. "

I don't care what it means; I don't want to know

No, The Mediterranean Diet Won't Help You Live Forever

"The new study, published in The BMJ, finds that women who more closely followed a Mediterranean diet had longer telomeres on the end of their chromosomes. "

Now you can get a PhD (yes, I said PhD) in drones

Get a degree in drones and earn $100,000 a year | New York Post

"‘We don’t call them drones, we call them unmanned aircraft systems integration… "

Every syllable counts.

12.02.2014

See, it's not just people carrying guns…

TSA seizes record number of firearms - CNN.com

"'The vast majority of passengers have no nefarious intent but forgot their firearm in their carry-on bag,' TSA spokesman Ross Feinstein wrote in an email."

…it’s people who can’t even keep track of where their freaking gun is.

Arrrggghh.

Let 'em sweat

Inhofe's Grand Climate Conspiracy Theory: It's All About Barbra Streisand | Mother Jones

"Sen. James Inhofe…the 80-year-old Republican from Oklahoma is one of the most notorious deniers of human-induced climate change. He has contended that God controls the Earth's climate, not Homo sapiens, and he has quoted the Bible to make this point: 'As long as the Earth remains there will be seed time and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, day and night.' And Inhofe, thanks to the recent elections, is in line to chair the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee when the Republicans assume control of the Senate next month. He has vowed to do all he can to block regulations aimed at cutting emissions."

But let's not let that stand in the way of a good scandal

Did This Flu Vaccine Kill 13? - The Daily Beast

"‘Extensive analysis has found no causal link between vaccination and these serous adverse events.’"

You say that like it's a bad thing

Where Is The Obama Of 2016? No Viable Dem Challenger In Sight Yet

Me, I don’t want to think about 2016 until, well, 2016. And even that might be too soon. 

NSFW?

12.01.2014

Once again we come to that dismal moment…

…when it’s time to give up on the Bears and start rooting for the Packers to win everything. At least they’re from the right division. And, they’re far enough away I don’t have to hear about them constantly, unlike this local bunch. This morning’s Boston Sun-Times (who even knew there was a Boston Sun-Times?) carried 736 stories about Sunday’s game, all suggesting the most glorious thing the Packers have ever accomplished, in the entire history of the Green Bay franchise, was to beat the Patriots yesterday. So you can see.

Go Pack.

And while they're at it I hope they fix that calculus thing because Dude, that's hard

The GOP Controls Congress. Now It Can Change How Math Works. | Mother Jones

"Seriously. Republicans, led by Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.), their budget guru, are considering altering the way Congress calculates the costs of tax cuts—a move that could make big tax cuts for the rich appear less costly than they really are."

The end is near!

Are Humans Going Extinct?

Everybody loves a good rapture.

Can't have too much therapy

Does Free Speech Cover Murder Fantasies? The Supreme Court’s Definition of a ‘Threat’ - The Daily Beast

"Elonis maintains that these statements, despite their quite horrifying tenor and tone, were not ‘threats’ within the meaning of the First Amendment. Rather, he insists that they were therapeutic statements…"

11.30.2014

Because if you don't look good on Twitter you just don't look good

Nip, tuck, click: Demand for U.S. plastic surgery rises in selfie era | Reuters

"Plastic surgeons in United States have seen a surge in demand for procedures ranging from eye-lid lifts to rhinoplasty, popularly known as a nose job, from patients seeking to improve their image in selfies and on social media."

Imagine our surprise

Social media data is RIDDLED with human behaviour errors, boffins warn • The Register

"Researchers who heavily rely on social media data when studying human behaviour have been warned that such information can be very easily skewed."

11.29.2014

Seriously: for a minute there I thought it said she took a pig on a plane

Woman kicked off flight after hiding pet pig in a duffle bag | New York Post

"The woman had brought the curly-tailed pet aboard as an ‘emotional support animal,’ the company rep said."

Oh.

Here it is, just two days after Thanksgiving, and already I'm dreaming about a peanut butter sandwich. But wait!

Peanut Butter And Jelly Racist? Portland School Principal Ties Sandwich To White Privilege

"‘What about Somali or Hispanic students, who might not eat sandwiches?’ Gutierrez said, according to the Tribune. ‘Another way would be to say: ‘Americans eat peanut butter and jelly, do you have anything like that?’ Let them tell you. Maybe they eat torta. Or pita.’"

We heart everything, here in our happy valley

Power outage brings gift of family time | The Recorder

"‘We spent Thanksgiving night playing rummy by the fireplace,’ he said."

(OK, Shelburne Falls isn’t exactly in the valley but it’s way close enough.)

At his age, it's a wonder he plays at all

No. 10 Maryland women beat James Madison 80-64

Definitely needs a new battery

Antikythera Mechanism, World's First Computer, Is Older Than Previously Believed

Whoa, this sounds like fun

13 Republicans most likely to win the White House in 2016

"Republicans say their long list of 2016 hopefuls is among the deepest, most diverse group in recent history without a clear frontrunner."

Can't wait to see the others

Los Angeles freeway sign unveiled with typo

"A subcontractor had misspelled Olympic Boulevard with an 'I'' in place of the 'Y.’…
"The sign was one of many improvements underway on the freeway as part of a pavement rehabilitation project."

Is this a serious fetish or what?

Unboxing videos online chronicle the big reveal

"My favorite is when they're doing the tablet reviews and they peel off the layer of plastic film on the glass."

It's not the Ebola that'll do you in, it's the bottom line

U.S. hospitals wary of caring for Ebola patients because of cost and stigma

"‘Why would I get in line for that if I were a private-sector business?’"

11.28.2014

It's just the inconvenience of it all

Winter, I mean. Here it is, a perfectly pleasant day—it’s in the low 30’s but the sun is out and there’s no wind (not that we believe in wind chill) and it’s just fine to walk around in—except the neighbors’ electricity just got restored, which means the street got re-opened, which means the plow came by and shoved big piles of wet, sloppy (albeit still sort of white) gunk all over the nicely cleared sidewalks and blocked all the driveways again. Call out the shovel brigade one more time.
Fortunately, there’s turkey for lunch.

Yeah, but it's more fun to yell

America’s Oldest Political Insult - Rob Goodman - POLITICO Magazine

"If Obama were the first president to be painted as a king, we’d have good reason to reach for the nearest pitchfork; but when presidents of all parties have been ‘kings’ for more than two centuries, it’s a sign that something deeper is at work. The permanent fight over the presidency’s limits is as much a fixture of our constitutional order as biannual elections or freedom of speech."

11.27.2014

YA reason not to buy an all-electric car

Thanksgiving Storm Leaves 344K in Darkness From West Virginia to Vermont - NBC News.com

"More than 344,000 homes and businesses were without electricity — including 181,000 customers in New Hampshire, 69,900 in Maine and 21,200 in Massachusetts — at 3 p.m. ET. Central Maine Power said it was bringing in crews from Canada to help the recovery effort."

It all depends on who you call a turkey, doesn't it?

Map: Turkey density in the United States - Vox

Personally, I think DC is seriously undercounted.

Snow job


Well, actually, it's pretty rulish

Chicago Bears’ Season On the Line vs. Detroit Lions On Thanksgiving | RantSports
"This is a chance for a statement game from the Bears…a win against Detroit would prove that the embarrassing losses against the Patriots and Green Bay Packers were the exceptions, not the rule."

Hitting the turkey a little early, are we?

Nor'easter Nightmare: Thanksgiving Travel is Chaos for East Coast - NBC News.com

"And although the worst of the wintry weather was set to be over in time for New York's City Macy's parade, much of the west coast is braced for a heavy rain and possible snow through the weekend."

East. East.

(Emphasis mine.)

Beat "Black Friday chaos"; join in on Thanksgiving Thursday chaos instead

Black Friday will start earlier on Thanksgiving - NY Daily News

"Macy’s and Target stores across [New York City] will swing their doors open at 6 p.m. — two hours earlier than last year — and stay open nonstop for 28 to 30 eye-watering hours.

"Best Buy and JCPenney will open even earlier at 5 p.m., with Kmart continuing its tradition of a 6 a.m. start, hoping to entice consumers out of bed for a predawn shopping spree ahead of the family feast."

11.26.2014

The nice thing about early snow…


…is that it's wet and sticks to stuff and sometimes looks sort of cool. The bad thing about early snow is that it's wet and sticks to stuff, like the branch of a tree next to the neighbors' house, and the branch falls off the tree and knocks down their power line and leaves then electricless on the evening before Thanksgiving, and they have houseguests. If this hasn't happened to you you may not know the electric company won't reconnect the line unless you first hire an electrician to make sure everything on the house end of the line is OK, which, tomorrow being (as we mentioned) Thanksgiving, will cost them a bundle, plus they wind up just like that mean, evil Walmart, making somebody work on a holiday and all. Or they can just sit around in the dark and the cold and eat canned beans.

How fair is that?

Abbott & Costello avoiding work

Eww, you're telling me now? Right before Thanksgiving?

Drugged marshmallow fluff keeps raccoons from spreading disease - The Washington Post

Marshmallow Fluff (it’s a trade name, although it may no longer be protected) is New England’s answer to SPAM.

Marshmallow creme - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"'Fluff' continues as a regional tradition in the Northeastern United States. One popular use is in the Marshmallow Fluff and peanut butter sandwich (Fluffernutter).

"Since at least 2006, the city of Somerville has celebrated Query's original creation of Fluff with an annual festival in Union Square titled What the Fluff?. Typical activities at the festival have included a science fair, gallery show, cooking contests, and carnival games such as a bean-bag toss, all themed around Marshmallow Fluff. In 2011, actress Susan Olsen, most famous for portraying Cindy Brady on the Brady Bunch attended the festival, where she sold her marshmallow fluff-inspired art."

Maybe next year, a display of dead raccoons?

Fortunately…

…I carry a miniature Swiss Army knife on my keychain, which is just enough to get a stubborn wrapping off a chocolate bar in an emergency. Without it, I may not have made it home from the drugstore this morning in time to settle and watch the blizzard blow in. 

The entire Eastern Seaboard, you will see on your weather map, is buried under some shade of greenish glop. Green means rain. But up on the end where I am, the green is starting to turn blue. Blue means white (you gotta just trust me here).

I’ve been flitting around from weather site to weather site trying to find one with a more sunny forecast but nope, they all agree. We’re not Buffalo, but we’re gonna get snowed on anyway. Some. Maybe half a foot or so. If you’re going somewhere for Thanksgiving, bundle up and pack a sandwich. I’m not. Ha ha.

I’m just gonna sit and watch this happen, and maybe it will all melt some day.

Getting on toward winter in Duluth




Duluth Harbor Cam

11.25.2014

Here's a sentiment that's been bouncing around the web recently…

…submitted by Some Guy…


…which is pretty cute but, it seems to us, somewhat flawed, because what happened next is the undocumented aliens from Europe proceeded to eat the Americans' lunch in more ways than one, and elect Republicans to Congress. The Americans would have been better off building a high fence and patrolling it with drones, at least until they had invented hotels and needed somebody to change the sheets.

Still, that the idea Americans might be welcoming to "aliens" is funny, is sad. And funny. And I don't know what else it means than that.

But hey, it's a holiday, Thursday is, and in the spirit of kicking back and eating too much we propose this musical accompaniment.

Get back to me when you have something to say

The Secret to Resisting Temptation - WSJ

"People Who Excel at Resisting Temptation Deliberately Avoid Tempting Situations, Says a Study"

It's all in the picture

The Difference 30 Years Makes: iMac with Retina 5K display vs. the Original Apple Macintosh • Things of Interest

"That tiny black-and-white rectangle crammed into the bottom-left corner was cutting-edge technology three decades ago."

(Worth a look.)

11.24.2014

An Idaho sunset


–Contributed by our special correspondent from the land of famous potatoes.

No kidding, some breathtakingly ugly stuff here

NFL Ugly Sweaters for Sale - Best NFL Sweaters - Esquire

But Fox Noise will spare us

The Rude Pundit: Republicans Can't Give Up the Benghazi Lust

"The report [by the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence] prompted the Senate's prettiest debutante, Lindsey Graham, to go full Scarlett on CNN yesterday. Calling the report 'full of crap' and 'garbage' and 'a lousy job' by the House committee, he said that everyone is being lied to by the CIA, that people were told to stand down, and that Susan Rice and those talking points are the gravest threat to the nation since the Great Taffeta Shortage of 1985."

YA patch in DC

Lawfare › A Charlie Brown Congress

"We saw some valiant workers from the Architect of the Capitol working on the tree and stopped to chat with a couple of Capitol Hill police officers to ask them what the workers were doing.  Turns out they were ‘fixing’ the tree by adding more branches to it.  In order to make it work, they were stapling branches on with nail guns and using wire mesh to hold the extra branches in place.  When (if?) they successfully complete their work we will have a perfectly wonderful facsimile of a real Christmas tree on the Capitol grounds."

Opening up a whole new universe of blabber

Media Goes Wild Over Hagel Firing But Not Obama's Secret Afghanistan Reversal | Mother Jones

"This is a quasi-BFD…"

Really? Quasi-BFD?

Today's not Wednesday…

…so there's still a chance this will all go away. But…

 [NOAA]

…I'm oiling up my boots.

11.23.2014

And what if life on other planets is just like us? How freaking disappointing would that be?

XKCD

Don't bother us with details, Dude

This tone-deaf cartoonist forgets that Thanksgiving is about immigration - Vox

"Remember, the classic Thanksgiving story is about Pilgrims — a.k.a. immigrants — who showed up on American shores uninvited, and in precarious economic circumstances. Thanksgiving is a celebration of the fact that the native-born Americans who lived in the area welcomed these newcomers, shared their food with them, and helped them make the transition to their new home."

Anyway those native-born Americans pretty much got screwed in the end, which…errr…wait…

Ouch, that's gotta sting

Obama: Americans Will Want 'New Car Smell' in Next President | The Weekly Standard

"You know…they want to drive something off the lot that, that doesn’t have as much mileage as me."

Ain't nothing sacred any more?

Sunday morning used to be the perfect time for laundry. I’d have the place to myself, or pretty near. No muss, no fuss. no bother.

But for the last two weeks it’s been packed on Sunday morning. The laundry place. How did they all find out at once?

I wonder if I can wear these socks until Wednesday.

Tweeting in the tunnel

This is how you make phones work 100 feet underground | The Verge

It’s “leaky coax” in a place where “leak” is a word you don’t want to hear.

I don't quite understand the physics of this but maybe that's because txting has r…oops, ran out of characters there

‘Text neck’ is becoming an ‘epidemic’ and could wreck your spine - The Washington Post

"The human head weighs about a dozen pounds. But as the neck bends forward and down, the weight on the cervical spine begins to increase. At a 15-degree angle, this weight is about 27 pounds, at 30 degrees it’s 40 pounds, at 45 degrees it’s 49 pounds, and at 60 degrees it’s 60 pounds."

Seems like a minor detail, really

Naked man assaults 84-year-old at Boston Logan Airport - Chicago Tribune

"Police did not say if drugs or alcohol might have played a role in the incident."

11.22.2014

Siri (allegedly) raps



Noted by Some Guy from Seattle

I stand in the checkout line…

…and it occurs to me, all of a sudden, that what I’m holding is a great big basket of carbs. Except for a can of Spam and a half-dozen eggs. But by then, there is somebody behind me in line and I don’t want to go back and buy broccoli because I would lose my place. Partly. Not partly lose my place, I mean.

So I get a chocolate bar from the chocolate-line rack instead.

We are running out of chocolate and so we need to eat as much as possible while we still can.

But don't worry. it won't last

Lawfare › The Immigration Imbroglio as (Pretty) Normal Separation of Powers

"It has been instructive during the last six years to watch President Obama and most Democrats evolve from Executive power critics to Executive power apologists, just as it has been instructive to watch many Republicans evolve from Executive power apologists (or quiet fence-sitters) to Executive power critics.  It has also been instructive to watch President Obama’s transformation, in less than three weeks, from an irrelevant lame duck to an overbearing threat to our constitutional order."

This must be one of those days

Divorce lawyers see uptick in ‘pet prenups’ - Lifestyle - The Boston Globe

"In the end, the family member who often suffers most in a divorce is the dog, say several experts."

What happens to the Internet with no cats

You can now video chat with your dog | New York Post

"All you’ve got to do is attach a tablet to the free-standing iCPooch, which is a rectangular box with a dispenser. Not only does it let you and your pet get some FaceTime, but the app even lets people control when their pup or kitty gets a treat."

But not backing out of backing out

Obama expands US military role in Afghanistan | New York Post

"The earlier plan would have only allowed attacks on Taliban if they threatened US forces or gave direct support to al Qaeda."

Pig out in Indianapolis

More than 2,000 piglets pulled from crash on Ind. highway - NY Daily News

"The Wayne Township Fire Department snapped pictures and videos as the squealing piglets were rescued and ferried to safety along an assembly line. The porkers were taken to the Indiana State Fairgrounds to spend the night before continuing their journey."

11.20.2014

An exercise in comparative TV

Watch the first episode of the new NBC show, State of Affairs, and then watch any episode of CBS's Madam Secretary.

You won't need me to tell you what you've seen.

Do I look green to you?

Let's not overwrite here, Dude

Britain's First Poop-Bus Leaves the Station

"Toilet humor aside, biomethane gas is a legitimate source of renewable energy. Governments should not constipate the efforts to introduce new forms of energy into public transit systems."

Oh don't trouble us with this really hard thinking

The curious case of GOP objections to executive action | TheHill

"The question is: Why is Congress taking up a weaker case by arguing that President Obama is unrestrained by law in the domestic context while ignoring the real problem of presidential overreach in the realm of national security? Congress ought to insist on its constitutional role in the area of national security, beginning by voting up or down on legislation to authorize military action against the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS)."

So lighten up, Buffalo; it could be cold.

2014 Is on Track to Become the Hottest Year on Record - NationalJournal.com

"The worldwide combined average land and water temperature for October clocked in at 58.43 degrees Fahrenheit—the warmest recorded October since record-keeping started in 1880. "

Wait, what?

Poll: Nearly half oppose executive action - Kendall Breitman - POLITICO

"Nearly half of Americans do not support President Barack Obama’s plan to take executive action on immigration, a new poll finds."

“Nearly half” is the new standard now? We need to go back and revise the pipeline vote. the NSA vote, the…hey, that probably reverses some of those elections the R’s recently “won,” too. 

LOL…shoulda checked the schedule first

White House hits TV networks for skipping immigration address - POLITICO.com

"The White House is exasperated with the major broadcast networks – ABC, CBS and NBC -- for skipping out on President Barack Obama’s Thursday primetime address on his executive actions on immigration."

(See below.)

I'm thinking, why bother watching this on the TeeVee?

And So The Immigration Uproar Begins - Esquire

"Constitutional infamy!!!!

"And this is before he does anything. This is pre-emptive high-sterics, the warm-up pitches, as it were. The really unmoored rhetoric is just now being uncrated and dusted off, as the Republicans once again try to conjure up a Watergate of their very own. (They've been mad for one for over 40 years.)"

It’s going to be written about endlessly for weeks, maybe months. No escape.