McDuck

McDuck, originally uploaded by tedcompton.

Because we don't have enough to worry about right here

The hunt for extraterrestrial life should be dramatically expanded, a panel of scientists convened by the country’s leading scientific advisory group said today, to include what they call “weird life,” organisms that lack DNA or other molecules found in life as we know it.

Link: Expanded Search for Extraterrestrial Life Urged - New York Times

Now would be nice

Breakfast served, originally uploaded by tedcompton.

So maybe that's what's going on in the attic...

A team of engineers and biologists at Brown University has discovered that bats, the mysterious nocturnal mammals that are guided by sound and helped inspire Dracula and Batman, may hold the secret to more efficient flying machines.

The Air Force has taken notice of Brown's work. It will invest $6 million in the project over the next 2 1/2 years, in the hope of using the research to design future military aircraft.

...some sort of top secret military stunt.

Link: Finding secrets of bats' flight could change military aircraft - The Boston Globe

Stop me before I read another headline...please

Schwarzenegger May Lose a Bit of His Eco-Luster

What is that, the stuff he rubs on his face? Eco-Luster?

I don't know. But what is it with the orange politicians in California, anyway? Saint Ronnie had orange hair, Arnie seems to be orange all over. Some Chamber of Commerce thing, with the oranges? Could be. Come to think of it, our politicians here look eerily like cod.

Link: Schwarzenegger May Lose a Bit of His Eco-Luster - New York Times

At least the traffic cameras worked

London Bombers Sped to Glasgow, Authorities Say

Link: London Bombers Sped to Glasgow, Authorities Say - New York Times

Putin for President

Well it would be refreshing, wouldn't it, a guy who always tells the truth? Putin always tells the truth!

KENNEBUNKPORT, Maine -- After hearing scathing criticism of the United States and its foreign policy from President Vladimir Putin for months, President George W. Bush praised Putin for his truthfulness and frankness at their meeting in Maine.

“Here's the thing, when you're dealing with a world leader, you wonder whether or not he's telling the truth,” Bush told reporters Monday. “I've never had to worry about that with Vladimir Putin. Sometimes he says things I don't want to hear, but I know he's always telling me the truth.”

Name one American politician who meets that standard.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

Link: Bush Says Putin Always Tells Truth

Snowjob spins...and spins

Excerpts (link below) from Tony Snowjob's encounter with the press over the commutation flap makes amusing reading. And ain't it wonderful the way these guys discover any law they want to ignore is in a “grey area.”

SNOW: Again, I think that is still a grey area in the law. We understand what the judge is saying. Our legal counsel looks at it in a different manner...

Link: TPMmuckraker July 5, 2007 12:27 PM

Yeah, yeah, I've quoted this before but it just keeps coming back. To wit:

Controversy equalizes fools and wise men - and the fools know it.

–Oliver Wendell Holmes

Ever seen the Eiffel Tower?

Ever seen the Eiffel Tower?, originally uploaded by tedcompton.

It's just all falling apart now, isn't it

BENICIA, Calif. - From afar, the ghostly warships recall a fierce phalanx ready for battle. A closer look, though, shows the rust and rot of ships unfit for duty or even dismantling, a quandary that is costing taxpayers millions of dollars and could cause environmental misery that will cost millions more.

Link: Environmental risks haunt 'ghost fleet' - Yahoo! News

I get an email from “The New AT&T”...

...sez, if I give them even more money I can have early weekends. Dude, that is so cool, early weekends! I am going to send them some money right now and go to the beach tomorrow.

And you thought bad hair days was all they had to worry about, did you?

“There was never a more benign incident that turned into a bigger messaging problem than 'Mission Accomplished,'” Dan Bartlett, a former top communications adviser, told GQ magazine in an interview to be published next month.

Link: The Raw Story | Mag: Presidential aide wants a 'do-over' on 'Mission Accomplished'

White House wants judge to show a little creativity, screw the guidelines thing

I mean, hey, here we are, locking all those people up, spending a fortune on prisons.

(America's prison population topped 2 million inmates for the first time in history on June 30, 2002 according to a new report from the Justice Department’s Bureau of Justice Statistics.)

Link: U.S. Prison Population Tops 2 Million

But Commander Guy has come up with a solution, Tony Snowjob explains.

Snow said the White House view was this: “You treat it as if he has already served the 30 months, and probation kicks in. Obviously, the sentencing judge will figure out precisely how that works.”

Link: Bush spokesman: Clintons have chutzpah for criticizing Bush - Examiner.com

So there you go, Bunky! Just skip the jail. Surely the judge can figure that one out. He should have been able to figure it out for himself, without bothering the Deciderer. It's just so hard to get good creative judges these days.

Get a grip, NYTimes

No matter how much he tries to blend in, Mr. Clinton is one Oscar-worthy supporting actor who can sometimes upstage his leading lady simply by breathing.

Link: Clintons Adjust to Her Turn in His Old Role - New York Times

OK, who paid for this one, Reuters?

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The 24-year-old son of former Vice President Al Gore was arrested for drug possession on Wednesday after he was stopped for allegedly speeding in his hybrid Toyota Prius...

Link: Al Gore's son busted for drugs in hybrid car | U.S. | Reuters

First Libby, now...

In an obvious attempt to soften up the prison's vile image, the US military has announced that the detainees will now have a movie nite, among other amenities.

They've just gone all wussy here, haven't they.

Link: liberal catnip: Movie Nite at Gitmo

Lamp

Lamp, originally uploaded by tedcompton.

So a priest walks into a bar...

A Polish priest has started a row after opening a nationwide chain of cafe-bars and promising to employ only sexy waitresses.

Father Henryk Jankowski, a priest who played a prominent role in the Solidarity movement, said: “Ugly women need not bother apply to become waitresses in my cafes.”

He is to open a chain of 16 cafe-bars across Poland and will only employ good looking girls. He dismissed critics saying it was all for charity.

Link: Ananova - Priest seeks sexy waitresses

Wait...what?

NORTH SIDE | Patriotic pot knocked over on Memorial Day

And they're just now noticing? Must have been some pot.

Link: Today, American Legion counting on vandals to behave :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Metro & Tri-State

Ramping up the din...attention spans reduced to nanoseconds

More than 1,200 US radio stations run by Clear Channel Communications Inc., including four in Boston, have been selling super-short ads the company calls “blinks” and “adlets” that are tucked between music or disc jockey's chatter. Blinks, in about two seconds, may spit out three or four words like “Sweet tea at McDonald's.” Adlets, about five seconds, offer a bit more: “This Saturday at Rain, it's a glamorous VIP afterparty hosted by Fergie. Visit rainnightlife.com.”

Link: Two seconds are all an advertiser needs - The Boston Globe

Three ducks on Fourth

Three ducks on Fourth, originally uploaded by tedcompton.

Aha: That magic 30% again

Three out of ten Americans suffer some form of alcohol abuse or alcohol addiction during their lives, according to a new study of drinking and dependency.

I'm telling you, 30% is some sort of universal constant. For everything.

Link: The Raw Story | Alcohol abuse, addiction hits 3 of 10 Americans

Iraqi government gives up, decides to sell the joint

The Iraqi government has begun preparing the groundwork for what could be one of the biggest privatisations of state-owned assets.

The Sunday Telegraph has learned that officials from the government have recently held talks with banking and legal advisers in London. City sources said Iraq's minister for industry, Fawzi Hariri, was looking to appoint advisers to draw up a memorandum of understanding to sell off the country's non-oil assets, ranging from petrochemical plants to construction companies, hotels and airlines, as early as this month.

Link: Iraq draws up plans for privatisation gold rush | Business | Money | Telegraph

Yikes! Chewing gum makes you gay

Yeah really.

The furor over the commercial has resulted in the American Decency Association urging Christians not to buy Fusion or any other Wrigley’s product. ADA president Bill Johnson says the ad shows that the company is more concerned about appealing to the homosexual community than it is offending millions of Bible-believing Christians.

Or maybe not.

Hey, click the link and decide for yourself. (Don't worry, you don't have to chew the gum yourself.)

Link: Bible beaters go after Wrigley gum for ’sapphic’ ad at Pandagon

Miss Florence

Miss Florence, originally uploaded by tedcompton.

Blah, blah, blah

All day long I hear people talking about “Scooter,” I think they're meaning some '40s-era movie for kids but no, of course, not. They're talking about the other guy. The perjurer. And you thought Commander Guy didn't have a heart. Well, hey now.

If you haven't already maxed out, here's a list of comments culled from the reality-based side of the blogosphere by Jill on “Brilliant at Breakfast.” I'm not about to beat the horse: It's dead. And I can get caught up on what the junta's defenders from Faux News have to say at dinner. Meanwhile, I'm going back to my book.

Or maybe read the instruction book for my camera, try to figure out how the damn thing works.

Oh, speaking of how things work, I've finally figured out what I don't like about the iPhone: It's a phone. If I could find one that isn't a phone I would buy it, whether I can afford it or not - which, likely, I could, if it were not locked in to an outrageous contract with AT&T - because without the phone (but still with the mic, for recording) it would be the hand-held computer of my dreams.

Things really suck, huh?

Duck break!

Duck break!, originally uploaded by tedcompton.

He can have the cube next to Libby's

WASHINGTON — Former World Bank chief Paul Wolfowitz, who resigned amid a furor over his handling of a bank pay package for his girlfriend, has joined the American Enterprise Institute, a think tank, as a visiting scholar.

Link: Wolfowitz moves to DC think tank | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle

Tourist season

Tourist season, originally uploaded by tedcompton.

See? They are starting to be just like us.

IraqSlogger: Iraqis Resent Gas Price Hike:

Baghdad, Jul 2, (VOI) – A large number of Iraqi drivers and owners of domestic generators are expressing their resentment over a recent decision by the Iraqi Oil Ministry to increase gas prices by 50 Iraqi dinars (3.9 U.S. cents).

The big crunch

The US military paying a defense contractor at least $900,000 to shred fighter jets it paid hundreds of millions to private contractors to build, in the newest twist to what President Eisenhower once dubbed the “military-industrial complex.”

“A mechanical monster grabs the F-14 fighter jet and chews through one wing and then another, ripping off the Tomcat's appendages before moving onto its guts,” writes AP reporter Sharon Theimer. “Finally, all that's left is a pile of shredded rubble...

...so Iran won't get them.

Really. No kidding.

Link: The Raw Story | Pentagon paying $900,000 to destroy jets it paid millions to build

What. A. Doofus.

President Bush is holding private meetings “over sodas and sparkling water” in which he asks trusted advisers -- “Why does the rest of the world seem to hate America? Or is it just me they hate?”

Link: The Raw Story | 'No modern president has experienced such a sustained rejection;' Kissinger: Bush 'at peace'

Yippee!

SALEM, Ore. — A Marion County judge said lap dances in Salem are protected by the free speech provisions of the Oregon Constitution.

That is, of course, unless the dancer (or would that be...oh never mind) says something about bong hits 4 Jesus, in which case it's all over, Dude, that's it.

Link: FOXNews.com - Judge: Lap Dances Protected by Constitution - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News

A sign from on high

A sign from on high, originally uploaded by tedcompton.

Argue? Not me.

Commander Guy gets stuck in the great big ocean

Commander Guy, who's up there in Maine because he invited Vladimir Putin for a sleep-over at Mommy and Poppy's house, went fishing with 41 and that other daughter of his, not Jenna, 100 feet from shore, and got his boat stuck.

They dropped the anchor to fish less than 100 feet from shore at Biddleford, Maine, but when they decided to leave, they couldn't, according to an Associated Press photographer who took pictures of the incident.

Called in Secret Service divers to get the anchor up.

Maybe that's why the Secret Service says he'll need a 100-person detail when he retires: They figure they'll have to pick him up every time he topples over. Agents will be applying for transfer to the Nome office before it's over.

Link: spiiderweb™: Anchor a drag on Bush's boat

Wait, I thought Mitt fixed this thing

Almost three years after state managers vowed to close thousands of leaks in the Big Dig tunnels, nearly 2 million gallons of water flow each month through the Thomas P. O'Neill Jr. Tunnel, an 18 percent increase over last year, a Globe analysis shows.

Guess not. He just screwed the ceiling back up, maybe. Too busy running for President to be bothered with the leaks.

Link: Leakage in Big Dig tunnel rises - The Boston Globe

Happiness

Happiness, originally uploaded by tedcompton.

How weird is weird?

According to this AFP story the Pentagon is in a twit over lies about Iraq - lies, I tell you! - in the “international media.”

The US military accused the international media on Saturday of exacerbating Iraq's violent tensions by reporting false claims of massacres which it said were deliberately fabricated by extremist groups.

This from the very same Pentagon that gleefully plants false stories - lies, I tell you! - in the international media itself under the rubric of “disinformation.” So that's pretty weird. But it gets even weirder in a couple of graphs...

Anti-Iraqi forces are known for purposely providing false information to the media...“

Whoa. The anti-Iraqi forces in Iraq? Wouldn't that be us? I mean, we are the guys who invaded the place, aren't we? And, yeah, there are some al-Qaeda there but Iraqis who they're anti? I don't know. Surely the Pentagon flacks aren't trying to tell us the Iraqis are anti-Iraqi, are they?

Who knows. We're so mired in spin we simply don't know what we're saying anymore.

Link: The Raw Story | US military accuses media of reporting 'false' Iraqi claims