Radio comedy from long, long ago

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Seems like only last week it was cauliflower

Shortage of single malt scotch whisky is looming - NY Daily News


If you think…

The Beast Is Us - The New York Times

"This idea that people are following Trump only for the celebrity joy ride, that if they just understood the kind of radical, anti-American ideas he advocates they would drop him, is garbage. If the pope couldn’t dent Trump, Romney surely will not."

…well, OK, if you think you’d probably be doing something better with your time, but aside from that…if you think the all those shocked, shocked Republican bigwigs didn’t know these Trumpians were the very people who’d been voting for them all these many years you’re not thinking

Meanwhile, the problem with dumping Trump is that the other two, Lyin’ Ted and little Marcio, are no bargains either. Clinton might be their best bet.

I guess the submarines didn't work

US sending nuclear-capable bombers to fight ISIS | New York Post

"The B-52 Stratofortress will start its first bombing campaign against ISIS in April, the Air Force Times reports. It’s not clear how many B-52s or airmen will be involved."

Mitt who?

Rank and File Republicans Tell Party Elites: We’re Sticking With Donald Trump - The New York Times

"In interviews, even lifelong Republicans who cast a ballot for Mr. Romney four years ago rebelled against his message and plan. 'I personally am disgusted by it — I think it’s disgraceful,' said Lola Butler, 71, a retiree from Mandeville, La., who voted for Mr. Romney in 2012. 'You’re telling me who to vote for and who not to vote for? Please.'"

It's not easy to stay in the game…

…with the stuff that regularly winds up on the front page of the New York Times these days, but the National Enquirer is giving its all. From the current issue…

‘Brain-Damaged’ Bill Clinton Violates Election Laws

Hillary Clinton Lesbian Love Letter Panic


Supreme Court Justice Scalia — Murdered By A Hooker

You’re welcome.

Our entertainment editors have had a lot of time to goof off…

…since entertainment became front-page mainstream news, but they phoned this in the other day…


No matter how bad it gets, it could still get worse

Why Caitlyn Jenner is offering to be Ted Cruz's "trans ambassador" - Vox

"She will be [Cruz’s] "trans ambassador," round up her Kardashian-Jenner daughters — Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, Kendall, and Kylie — and together they will serve on a hypothetical trans issues board to advise Cruz."

Not even elected yet and already creating jobs

Psychologists, massage therapists reporting ‘Trump anxiety’ among clients | Miami Herald


The maestro of small

The Republican food fight last night was the end of the debate season for me. I’ve heard enough to make up my mind about the candidates of both parties. Unless somebody wearing a white hat rides in at the last minute—and we’re fast running out of minutes—or unless Bernie manages somehow to prevail with the Democrats, I’m backing the Greens and Jill Stein.

In all likelihood, however, the eventual winner will be an R or a D. And those two parties are both making a bad, potentially disastrous mistake in their own respective unlovable ways in assuming Donald Trump is the easiest candidate for the Clintons to beat. He’s not.

If Trump gets nominated by the Rs, and I think he will in the end, I have a nickel here that says he’ll go all the way. Trump’s supporters aren’t interested in conservative values or constitutional squabbles or in all the vast array of Clintonist 12-point plans, they’re interested in Winning So, So Much.

Sinclair Lewis, in his 1935 novel, It Can’t Happen Here, invokes Chesterton: “There is only one thing bigger than a very big thing, and that is a thing so very small that it can be seen and understood.”

Trump is the maestro of small.

Some puzzles are forever



They just can't help it

Why nearly 100,000 people are calling for Bill Clinton’s arrest | New York Post

"Nearly 100,000 people have signed an online petition calling for Bill Clinton’s arrest for violating Massachusetts election law on Super Tuesday by campaigning close to — and even inside — polling places.…

"'Bill Clinton does not vote in Massachusetts, and would have no other business in a polling station on election day besides campaigning for his wife,' the petition on Change.org states."

They eat their own

Romney is too much a coward to say what’s really on his mind | New York Post

"Mitt Romney’s attack on Donald Trump was concise and well-written and, by calling the front-runner a “phony” and a “fraud,” hit all the erogenous zones of the anti-Trumpsters. But in the end, the speech flopped because, like so much else of Romney’s career, the message was muddled."

You gotta admit it’s fun to watch.

Probably just a stray candidate for something

Clown busted for smoking meth in Georgia Waffle House - NY Daily News

Hey, it’s an election year.


NY Daily News editorial in its entirety…

Impeach Trump 

It’s not too early to start.

OK, now I'm officially scared

Anti-Trump Republicans Call for a Third-Party Option - The New York Times

"'I would sooner vote for Josef Stalin than I would vote for Donald Trump,' said Mr. Boot…"

Does this guy know Stalin is dead? Is Stalin a zombie?

(Max Boot is currently currently serving as a foreign policy advisor to attack-puppy Marco Rubio.)

Be still my heart

If they'd only listened to him four years ago

Mitt Romney Makes Case Against Donald Trump in Utah Speech - First Draft. Political News, Now. - The New York Times

"Max Chaz, who backed Mr. Romney in 2012, arrived in a “Make America Great Again” hat that is the hallmark of Mr. Trump’s campaign."

Oh wait. They did.

Having a hard time sorting things out (disarray hardly describes it)

Why would anyone want Mitt Romney’s political advice? | New York Post

"Because a one-term governor of Massachusetts — the author of RomneyCare, the model for ObamaCare — is the obvious guy to save the Republican Party."

Fight overpopulation, vote for Trump

Complete guide to fleeing President Donald Trump's America - NY Daily News

If everybody who has ever threatened to leave the country after a certain election result actually had, we'd have a whole lot shorter lines at Disneyland.

Wait a minute

At Republican Debate, a Field of Four on Fox News - The New York Times

"Gov. John Kasich of Ohio has focused on Michigan as a place where he should perform well."

The governor of Ohio is going to win in Michigan? That’s just crazy talk.

Winter weather not all that's special about this year

Usually we have to wait until the county fair in September to see a demolition derby, but this year there’s one in March, March 3rd, tonight, in, appropriately enough, Detroit, on Fox News. That’s right, folks, step right up, time for another rollicking Republican primary debate. We’re expecting to see an extravaganza of Trump-bashing sufficient to make us all long for the tender mercies of W, Rumsfeld and Cheney. This morning’s New York Times documents in detail the huge array of anti-Trump forces at the ready, noting…

The urgent new efforts, led by a group of corporate executives, financiers and Republican strategists, came as more party leaders expressed fear that Mr. Trump’s nomination would taint the party with a stigma of bigotry and recklessness.

(No kidding, Dude; italics mine.)

The only point of suspense concerning tonight’s debate is whether or not New Jersey governor and former candidate Chris Christie (whom the Times’ Gail Collins is calling Trump’s Chewbacca) will get to stand behind The Donald on the stage.

Bring plenty of popcorn.

Meanwhile, in other news of moment, the city of Portland Oregon has been attacked by toxic moss (that’s right, moss); some kids at Harvard have the mumps (that’s right, mumps); and one Clinton campaigned for the other one, possibly illegally, in Massachusetts (what else is new?).


And if you think Trump can't be president because his hair is too funny…

By Gilbert Stuart - link, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=591229

Looks like Canada needs a wall too

Canadian banned from owning turtles after smuggling 38 in pants | Reuters


Who knew the end off the world would be so freaking FUNNY?

Conservatives have no idea what to do about Ted Cruz. | New Republic

"Lindsey Graham, who recently joked that, “If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you,” told Charlie Rose that “we may be in a position where we have to rally around Ted Cruz.”"

Hardening, right

The Party of Trump, and the Path Forward for Democrats - The New York Times

"The Republicans seem to be reeling, unable or unwilling to comprehend that a shady, bombastic liar is hardening the image of their party as a symbol of intolerance and division."

(Fro a New York Times editorial.)

Meanwhile, here, in honor of The Donald, I plan to spend the morning hiding under my bedalso it’s raining pretty hard and very windy, so who wants to go out in that anyway? It will clear up this afternoon.

F.B.I. flubbed it

F.B.I. Error Locked San Bernardino Attacker’s iPhone - The New York Times

"F.B.I. personnel apparently believed that by resetting the iCloud password, they could get access to information stored on the iPhone. Instead, the change had the opposite effect — locking them out and eliminating other means of getting in."

The bigger picture?

These are voter turnout estimates from a company called Edison Media Research as published in the Washington Post. Not all the Super Tuesday states are represented, but the trend is pretty clear: Big increases in Republican turnout, while Democrat numbers fall.


Tell us what you really think, Rick

Endorsing Trump, GOP Office-Holder? Go Fetch Your Shinebox - The Daily Beast

"We can argue about the evident failure of the donor class to unite behind a message, strategy, and funding plan to take out Trump as he inevitably wrecks the GOP on his way to having his weirdly coiffed head handed to him by Hillary Clinton’s campaign death machine, but in the shorter term Trump has the capacity to destroy a lot of Republican officeholders on the way."

Notes from back East

The Daily 202: Why Donald Trump’s support keeps expanding - The Washington Post

"From Massachusetts, for instance, The Post’s Ben Terris argues that Trump is the favorite because he’s perfectly channeled the voice and spirit of a loudmouthed sports fan from the state. 'People follow politics here like they follow the Patriots or the Red Sox. They want to know a politician is a fighter and has their back,' state Rep. Geoff Diehl said. 'Nobody has been able to lay a fing-ah on Trump!' a Massachusetts man declared to a local radio station. As Ben puts it, 'These voters don’t care that the Globe recently ran an editorial entitled ‘Massachusetts Must Stop Trump’; they’re not even troubled by their own doubts that Trump can fulfill his promises. All that matters is that, for the first time in memory, a candidate is speaking their language.'"

And wind up in a lifeboat with Tom Hanks

Inside the Clinton Team’s Plan to Defeat Donald Trump - The New York Times

"'Hillary has built a large tanker ship, and she’s about to confront Somali pirates,' said Matthew Dowd, the chief strategist for former President George W. Bush’s 2004 campaign, who is now an independent."

Opinion pages full of tears, but…

Network exec on ‘circus’ of 2016 race: ‘It may not be good for America, but it’s damn good for CBS.’ - The Washington Post

"Man, who would have expected the ride we’re all having right now? … The money’s rolling in and this is fun.

“…Sorry. It’s a terrible thing to say. But, bring it on, Donald. Keep going."

Bus bug

Google’s self-driving car hits bus | New York Post

"The crash may be the first case of one of its autonomous cars hitting another vehicle and making an error."


And it happened on a leap day, of course

Justice Thomas asks question in court for 1st time in 10 yrs - NY Daily News

"Thomas’s unusual silence over the years has become a curiosity over the years. Thomas has previously said he relies on the written briefs and doesn’t need to ask questions of the lawyers appearing in court."


OK, now this is just plain creepy


The Republican Party’s implosion over Donald Trump’s candidacy has arrived - The Washington Post

[Regarding Trump] "'It’s scary,' South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley, who has endorsed Rubio, said on ABC’s 'This Week.' She added: 'I think what he’ll do to the Republican Party is really make us question who we are and what we’re about. And that’s something we don’t want to see happen.'"

Emphasis mine.

I’ve been trying to forget about politics for a little while (at least until tomorrow) but that quote is way too good to pass up. 

Actually the whole idea of the Republican party “imploding” is pretty funny. 

Take a deep breath, George

The albatross of a Trump endorsement - The Washington Post

"Donald Trump’s distinctive rhetorical style — think of a drunk with a bullhorn reading aloud James Joyce’s “Finnegans Wake” under water…"

–George Will

It's a pretend day so this doesn't really count

Get ready for President Trump, says election whiz who’s scary accurate | New York Post

"The prediction wizard told university alumni gathered in Manhattan Monday night that Trump has a 97 percent chance of beating Hillary Clinton and a 99 percent chance of stomping Bernie Sanders, according to the school’s newspaper, The Statesman."

Did you hear about the dog that gave birth by the side of the road?

She was ticketed for littering.


The count counts

Democrats Should Be Very Nervous About Their Terrible Turnout Numbers

"Democrats in 2016 are only getting about two-thirds of the primary votes that they received eight years ago.

"Republican turnout in the South Carolina primary, by contrast, was up more than 70 percent from 2008."

The Perils of Hillary

Hillary could lose to Trump in Democratic New York | New York Post

"The polls found that Clinton often had higher negative ratings with voters than did the more-controversial Trump, whose inflammatory pronouncements have often angered and even horrified many of his fellow Republicans."


Happy Birthdqy Birthday Birthday Birthday

Leap Day Statistics

"Given current population data from the U.S. Census Bureau, only about 205,000 people in the U.S. have a February 29th birthday. For the world‘s population approximate 4.8 million have a February 29th birthday."

The era of Big Billboard is upon us

See That Billboard? It May See You, Too - The New York Times

"Mr. Stevens acknowledged that the company’s new offering “does sound a bit creepy.”"

Says the Times:

Clear Channel Outdoor Americas, which has tens of thousands of billboards across the United States, will announce on Monday that it has partnered with several companies, including AT&T, to track people’s travel patterns and behaviors through their mobile phones.

Where is Lady Bird when we need her?


Be careful what you ask for

How the Government Made the iPhone Hack-Proof | New Republic

"Long before the FBI asked Apple to hack their own phones, the government pushed tech companies to strengthen security."

Charlie Sheen disses Donald Trump

Charlie Sheen quotes Abe Lincoln in anti-Donald Trump tweet - NY Daily News

"Charlie Sheen, who exactly six months ago was gunning to be blowhard billionaire Donald Trump’s running mate, has jumped aboard the #AnyoneButTrump train."

GOP becomes Junior High School Party.

And in other movie news…

‘Fifty Shades of Grey' gets multiple dishonors at Razzies - NY Daily News

"The awkward adaptation of author EL James’ erotic novel nabbed five prizes at Saturday’s Golden Raspberry Awards, including tying with superhero flop 'Fantastic Four' as the year’s worst film. 'Fifty Shades' also ‘won' for worst screenplay, worst actor for Jamie Dornan, worst actress for Dakota Johnson and worst screen combo."

Our nomination for Quote of the Week

‘Shut up and listen’: Bill Clinton tells off Marine during rally | New York Post

"Americans have one remaining bigotry.…We don’t want to be around anyone who disagrees with us.”

–The other Clinton

Not a !, exactly…

2016 full South Carolina primary election results | Politics - WYFF Home

…but Jeb got eight percent of the votes in South Carolina yesterday. So maybe he was rewarded for dropping out, who knows. Meanwhile Slick Hilly bernt the Bern.