10.10.2015
Avoid more work: Use Google Docs
Apparently now it’s back, but now it’s also Saturday. So who cares?
Take a moment to remember Will Rogers, who once said…
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
Imagine how cool it would be if…
…every time you had to fill out a form that included the item “Place of Birth” you could write "eastbound near Natick, MA."
Stuck in traffic, mom gives birth to baby girl on Mass Pike | Boston Herald
(Of course it wouldn’t fit. “Indianapolis” doesn’t fit. They really need to make that line longer. Why doesn’t the Congress do something useful for a change and get that taken care of?)
Nuking St. Louis (and no, it's not a baseball story)
Uh Oh — Missouri Trash Fire Could Ignite World War II Atomic Waste | War Is Boring
"The possible consequences if the blaze meets the radioactive waste — they’re currently 1,000 feet apart — are … well, dire, according to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch."
10.09.2015
And still more than a year to go
There Is No Real Hillary Clinton | Rolling Stone
"To a casual observer, Hillary Clinton has been refit, redesigned and rolled out about as many times as the rumors dogging her for over 20 years. It's absolutely enervating. People aren't meant to be relaunched as often as phones."
Nothing could be fina than to be in Carolina if you want a sweet, sweet deal
Torrential Rain Raises Concerns at Duke Energy Coal Ash Dams
"The rain-related concerns reported at the Duke Energy's coal ash dams came just days after the company reached a controversial settlement with the state over its widespread coal ash pollution. Last week, DEQ [North Carolina’s Department of Environmental Quality] agreed to dismiss a $25.1 million fine against the company and drop its case over contaminated groundwater at Duke's Sutton plant near Wilmington. In exchange, Duke will pay the state $7 million, which will go into a fund for public schools."
[Emphasis added.]
Go ahead, David, tell us what you really think
Hillary Clinton’s Opportunist Solution! - The New York Times
"Her most impressive elision concerns trade, the Trans-Pacific Partnership. When she announced her opposition to Judy Woodruff on the “PBS NewsHour” she was performing a flip-flop of the sort that leaves gymnasts gaping and applauding. As CNN pointed out, she’s praised the deal 45 separate times, at one point calling it “the gold standard in trade agreements.”"
10.08.2015
Let's get organized!
Chocolate Chip Mint: Button, Button
"When you need a replacement button, you can just scan a bar code from the garment and someone will mail you the dang thing. Just think of the massive numbers of wasted buttons we could save!"
See that big blue arrow labeled Polar Jet Stream?
For more info on this state of affairs, climate.gov.
Whew…for a minute there, I thought my calendar was broken
Philly Shut-Ins Pray for the Apocalypse - The Daily Beast
"The church that predicted the world’s end in October 2011 is now sure today is the day. Or maybe tomorrow."
So they're pretty much like us?
Once Seed Was Planted, Chinese Headwear Fad Grew Like Weeds - The New York Times
"'This shows that in China now we’ll try almost anything that we see on the Internet,' Wang Hao, a college student from northwest China wearing a sprig of clover, said while strolling a Beijing street. 'Nobody knows what it means, but we do it anyway.'"
This whole campaign season might be saved…
"'We need to disrupt the old order in Washington, D.C.,' Mr. Bush says in the ad, as an image of President Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton together flashes on the screen."
…if we can get Jeb! and H arguing about who’s the real Washington outsider.
Maybe this was that lion's problem
Dietary note, courtesy of the internet:
Grapefruit…is low in calories and loaded with nutrients, supporting…heart and cancer prevention.
10.07.2015
I'll walk
Airbus Has a Brave New Idea: Stack Airplane Passengers on Top of Each Other
"Airbus is a pioneer in space-saving ideas that have given airplanes smaller seats and seats where you basically stand. But a new Airbus patent application takes the space-saving measures to a new extreme by suggesting that travelers can be stacked on top of each other. "
Then it wasn't now, exactly: A cinematic note
If you've run out of movies to watch, now, you might want to consider watching now, then. (Click the link, above.)
And it's probably too late to get our money back
Iraq leans toward Russia in war on Islamic State | Reuters
"The government has been relying heavily on an untrustworthy ally, which is the United States, and this fault should be fixed."
A rose by any other name would probably not be called "Pistol"
Violent baby names on the rise: survey - NY Daily News
"Violent baby names are on the rise as gun-lusting Americans pull the trigger on names like ‘Magnum,' ‘Shooter' and ‘Caliber,' according to troubling new data from Nameberry.com.
Names inspired by knives, intimidating movie stars, tough girls and warriors have also spiked."
Product placement on the dark side
Toyota, U.S. unsure how ISIS got brand new pickup trucks - NY Daily News
"“Regrettably, the Toyota Land Cruiser and Hilux have effectively become almost part of the ISIS brand,” said Mark Wallace, CEO of the anti-terror nonprofit Counter Extremism Project. “In nearly every ISIS video, they show a fleet — a convoy of Toyota vehicles and that’s very concerning to us.”"
Yikes! That's today!
The end of the world could be Oct. 7, Christian group warns - NY Daily News
Why are we just sitting here? We could be bowling.
On second thought…
Why am I not comforted by this?
Obama's team has been gaming out options for responding to Russia http://t.co/UFuUHusSVA | Getty pic.twitter.com/JtoVQZLh3m
— POLITICO (@politico) October 7, 2015And me
Friends of the S.S. United States Send Out a Last S.O.S. - The New York Times
"A Titanic-sized supership that once ferried presidents, Hollywood royalty, actual royalty and even the Mona Lisa has a place in the history books as the fastest oceanliner in the world. The owners are now racing to avoid having the ship, the S.S. United States, relegated to the junk heap."
It ferried me to Le Havre in January of 1958.
We both could use a new coat of paint.
And here's a book…
10.06.2015
I'm not opposed to saying dopey things on the internet (you figured that out, right?)…
…but somehow the whole idea of “tweeting” invariably cracks me up.
McDonald’s customers fume over limited all-day breakfast menu | New York Post
"In fact, more than 120,000 people tweeted at McDonald’s asking for breakfast throughout the day in the past year alone."
When I go to the grocery store, usually…
…I take along a big canvas bag, sort of like the bags newspaper carriers used in days of old—but this morning I left the bag at home because all I wanted was a small container of hummus and an avocado. (Let’s keep that among ourselves, OK? There is a reputation at risk here.)
And, having zipped through the store, my meager purchases in hand, I saw an empty checkout lane and strode up to the woman there, saying thusly: “Good morning. I’d like these in a plastic bag, please."
She said to me: “Paper or plastic?"
We’re doomed, right? I know.
10.05.2015
Block that metaphor
DATA: Your booty is a pain in the butt for 911 dispatchers | Sun Times National
"New research from Google reveals that not only does baby got back – baby’s also got many, many dial backs from 911 call centers."
Luckily no one would ever discuss a graduate business degree
Fiorina touts medieval history degree as weapon against ISIS
"Fiorina’s undergraduate degree was cause for much discussion when she entered her name into the race. While her time at Stanford yielded the medieval history and philosophy degrees, she has since earned graduate business degrees from both Maryland and MIT."
Imagine our relief.
There'll always be an England (and more)
Significant Digits For Monday, Oct. 5, 2015 | FiveThirtyEight
"350 rolls of toilet paper
"The New York Jets played the Miami Dolphins in London’s Wembley Stadium on Sunday, a game that saw New York come away with a 27-14 win. As part of the team’s trip planning, a Jets intern apparently advised that the toilet paper in London is of inferior quality. So the team hauled over 350 rolls of top-tier American TP to be safe."
This is very definitely not a good thing
Turkey Threatens to Shoot Down Russian Planes that Stray from Syria - The Daily Beast
"The two countries are rivals in the Syrian conflict, with Turkey calling for an end to the rule of Syrian leader Bashar al-Assad and Russia presenting itself as Assad’s most important ally."
The year of the talking doll
Can Mattel save Barbie? | New York Post
"The company is boasting the souped-up Barbie can deliver 8,000 lines of conversation and will enhance the relationship between child and doll.…
But judging from the static coming from parent groups and others since Hello Barbie was unveiled in March, the doll may also deliver 8,000 hours of agita for Mattel brass."
Also, why does that picture remind me of Bill Cosby?
Didn't we see this same headline last year?
U.S. Aims to Put More Pressure on ISIS in Syria - The New York Times
"As recently as Friday, Mr. Obama said he would take all steps necessary to combat the Islamic State in Syria and Iraq."
Oh. Friday?
Even if you, you mope, die
"But Mr. Pearson, a former McKinsey & Company consultant, has said he has a duty to shareholders to wring the maximum profit out of each drug. "
10.04.2015
Our TV critic, as a public service, reviews the new season
Drilling for Oil in Fargo (ABC): We never liked oil drilling shows even when they were set in Texas, where they belong.
Minority Report (Fox): It doesn’t take a precog to know this is a crime.
Scream Queens (Fox): Said to be a mashup of Glee and American Horror Story. We lasted three episodes of each, so we figure Queens for 1.5.
Heroes Reborn (NBC): Why?
Quantico (ABC): Annoyingly beautiful kids join the FBI. One of them is a terrorist. Probably not her.
Blindspot (NBC): Naked woman found in Times Square. Whoa! Who thought of that idea?
Speaking of Bernie
"Speaking to a crowd of 6,000 supporters, the Vermont senator stressed that his campaign is different from others as it's 'designed not only to elect someone president of the United States, but to build a political movement.'"
Go ahead, Robert, tell us what you really think
"Hillary Clinton, the leading Democratic candidate, is not fundamentally different from the scion of the Bush dynasty. She is instead a perfect stand-in for Jeb Bush if, as appears likely, the Republican Party should reject him for the sin, as with House Speaker John Boehner, of appearing too moderate. For Democrats, appearing moderate is quite easy, as Clinton proved as a senator and secretary of state: Just carry water for the military-industrial complex and Wall Street while pretending to be concerned about the ordinary folks who suffer from those costly policies."
Probably just as well the Pope left town when he did
Giants Fan Priest Threatens 8-Year-Old Cowboys Fan With Musket, Officials Say | TIME
"“As he raised his weapon and pointed it at the boy, he said, ‘I’m going to shoot you,'” John Molinelli, Bergen Country Prosecutor, told NBC 4 New York."