Report: All The Good Seashells Taken | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
CORAL GABLES, FL—According to a report released Monday by a group of environmental researchers, all the good seashells worth picking up and bringing home have already been taken...
"Frankly, the only seashells left are of the most inferior quality, in terms of both aesthetic appeal and structural integrity," said University of Miami researcher Paul Irizarry...
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