How about ePhone then? oPhone?

The iPhone is here! Oh wait, not the one you were thinking of.

Cisco's Linksys division rolled out a new line of VoIP devices, including handsets, dubbed the iPhone.

OK, aPhone then. It's not a magic "i," is it?

Yeah, well, maybe it is. Anyway, as everybody knows, Apple is definitely, absolutely, without question rumored to be announcing a phone thing sometime perhaps soon. Or a phone-and-iPod thing more like. But that won't be enough. What we need is a phone-iPod-PDA-Gameboy-camera-flashlight thing with a tiny emergency coffee maker built in. Now that would be worth hauling around.

Only thing is, if any one of those things goes bad or even just gets out of date (which is scheduled to happen a week from Tuesday) you have to walk around with something old and stodgy in your pocket or buy a whole new thing. So what we really need is a great big bag to put all the thingamabob whatchamacallits in, and a great big sign, "Please, please don't steal this bag because it contains everything in the word I own, plus spare socks."

Or better yet, one of those belt buckles Batman has. You know, the one that has all the gadgets in it. Zap. Whatever you need.

We could call it an iBuckle, maybe.