12.20.2006

Gearing up for a more comfy war.

An eight-month [cost: classified] remodeling project will transform the DOOFUSbunker "situation room" from the old dump Henry Kissinger once called "uncomfortable, unaesthetic and essentially oppressive" into a tasteful, cherry wood and cream fabric suite resembling a law firm or corporate board room - but "much more plug-and-play," says bunker deputy chief of staff Joe Hagin. The DOOFUSdigs will feature a lead-lined cabinet for visitors' cell phones and BlackBerrys, glass-encased phone booths, high-definition TV screens with split-screen technology, unobtrusively ceiling-mounted cameras, microphones, and speakers, and theater-style seating for "watch officers" who are, I don't know, watching the other officers I guess. And a "surge room," whatever the hell that is.

Oh, and "gleaming wood in-boxes" for DOOFUSbuddies Karl Rove, Dan Bartlett, and Tony Snowjob.

So who says war is hell? They'll probably even have indoor plumbing, would be my guess.

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