Commas are not confetti, and other resolutions

There was an English teacher where I worked once who used to tell that to her classes - commas are not confetti - and that's a fact I should pay more attention to myself. I claim some sort of pardon from the strict observance of this rule because once in a former life I spent a good many years as a speech writer, a most congenial occupation in which no one pays much attention to your grammar - let alone your spelling - and commas are more about comfortable phrasing than about strict rules.

But here I am now. (I used to think maybe the only thing better than writing speeches might be writing postage stamps, simply because it seemed to involve a fairly light work load. There are only so many words you can squeeze onto a sheet that small, after all. Blogging isn't stamp writing, I suppose, but it is surely the next best thing.) So I'm resolving, at least, not to fling quite so many commas around in the New Year.

Making New Year's resolutions is something I gave up along the way, but to be honest there are times when I miss them. Where, after all, can a person find such a sure and such a cheap - and such a safe - thrill of nearly-pure sin as in breaking one? So this year, with that reward in mind, I am going to make a few.

I resolve:

• To clip the damn coupons.

This one will surely be the first to fall because they are almost never for anything I need or even want. But other folks I know seem to find the exercise so therapeutic that I figure it's worth at least a try.

• To read the logs.

OK, this is a geek thing but I don't spend nearly the time I should reading the logs my computers so copiously record. Undoubtedly there are things there to learn, and anyway I owe them that much.

• To wash my coffee pot.

Once, at least. And maybe dust under the bed, but that part's not included in the deal.

Reproduced here for the record:

KID: "Mommy, is it true that we're all dust before we're born and we turn back into dust when we die?"

MOM: "I think that's what the Bible says. Why do you ask?"

KID: "There's somebody either coming or going under my bed."

• To get more involved with Creative Commons.

Archive some of my pictures there, maybe some other stuff, maybe get involved with one of the book projects later in the year, maybe some other stuff, who knows. Creative Commons is a good idea. And with the copyright cops and DRM dragoons tramping across the media landscape we had best start learning again how to entertain ourselves, it seems to me. You are likely to hear more about it if you hang around this blog at all in the coming year.

• To buy a light bulb.

Oops. Better make that two.

• Move to Massachusetts.

I've been living in Massachusetts for more than a decade now but I've always had the feeling I'm just passing through. This year I'm thinking about moving in.

• Win the lottery.

OK, this is more a fantasy than a resolution. I don't actually buy lottery tickets so that pretty much nails the fantasy part down right there. But I figure what's the harm in tossing it in.

When I fantasize about winning the lottery I also fantasize about how I'm going to spend the money. The current plan is to open a bread store - an only bread store, with all kinds of good, fresh-baked bread and a different kind on super-sale every day so everybody can have some. It's all just an excuse to use the name Buy Bread Alone.

• And then there's the comma thing of course.

That too. I might even dust off my old Strunk & White. (You wouldn't remember where I put Transitive Vampire, would you?)

So there it is. Let the sin begin.

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