Sure, I know how the Democrats feel.

Also, Charlie Brown. You know, in that strip where Lucy jerks the football away. That's exactly how I feel every time I open a box of rice.

Now, OK, I know, it's lame to buy rice in boxes, so don't get started on that. If I buy a whole sack it goes stale before I use it all. So I buy a box and bring it home and there, every time, on the top is that little flap that says "Lift Here." So I lift. What a dope.

It never lifts. It just sort of rips in some irrational way. And there's some sort of wimpy so-called "spout" underneath. Or maybe not so called. Or maybe not at all. So there's no way to get the rice out of the box without ripping the rest of the top off and dumping the rice all over the countertop and, you know, swearing a lot.

Next time, potatoes. I don't care.