Scandal among the sheets

I have two top sheets in my closet, it turns out, that have lost their bottoms. That seems awfully suspicious to me. But I think it’s related somehow to the twist ties that keep escaping my kitchen. 

What think is, the twist ties and the bottom sheets sneak off somewhere and make wire coathangers together. I have whole closets full of wire coat hangers although I have not brought one into the house for years. Once, a long time ago and very far away, I sent shirts to a laundry and had them hung on hangers but unless the hangers followed me halfway across the country like so many faithful dogs those hangers are not the hangers I have here. 

Somewhere, something is going on, and I say the sheets are in on it.

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