Maybe you could be a grease guard.
The suspects in a growing number of grease infractions fall into a range of categories, people interviewed on the matter said, as grease theft is a crime of opportunity. They include do-it-yourself environmentalists worried about their carbon footprints, warring waste management firms trying to beat each other on the sly, and petty thieves who are profiting from the oil's rising value on the black market....
Thefts have been reported in at least 20 states, said Christopher Griffin, whose family owns Griffin Industries, one of the largest grease collection and rendering companies in the country. The problem has gotten so bad, Griffin has hired two detectives to investigate thefts around the country.
[From As oil prices soar, restaurant grease theft rises - International Herald Tribune]
Or better yet (it probably pays better), a grease gumshoe.
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