Updating an old joke

A woman is explaining to a doctor why, although she has been married three times, she is a virgin:

"My first husband was young and handsome, but he turned out to be gay," she says. "He just wasn't interested, and our marriage was never consummated."

"The second time around I married a distinguished, older man. Unfortunately, he was a little too old. Actually, way too old - and that marriage was never consummated either."

"And my third husband - well, he's a Democrat. All he ever does is sit on the edge of the bed and tell me how good it's gonna be."

(AP)