Screw suggestion, let's make it a law

Lynn writes:

I’d like to put this in the suggestion box:

Homeland Security should be run by librarians.

When was the last time you tried to get a library card? In my experience, it’s harder to get a library card than it is to get an ID. And it takes way more than an ID to get a library card. Besides basic security, they would enforce things like:

Turn off your cell phones in quiet areas and respect other people’s serenity.
Read more.
Be respectful of borrowed property.
Share.
Participate in your community.
AND NO ONE GETS IN WITHOUT A LIBRARY CARD!

(It’s cheaper than filling in tunnels….)

Isn’t it nice when everyone plays along?

It is indeed. And nobody sneaks one past a librarian, take my word. More than one librarian over the years has made me prove I know my own name. Seriously. A lot of them seem to think it must be Theodore. It's not. (And no, Senator, it's not Edward either. It's just Ted.)

Librarians brook no nonsense. Librarians rule!

So yeah. Let's put librarians in charge of Homeland Security - and my college's Alumni Association in charge of finding Bin Laden. They'd have him tracked down by the end of the week. I'm not kidding.

Take my word.