1.23.2006

How to exercise your dog while sitting on your own fat lazy butt

It's not often - since we recovered from the euphoria of buying our Volvo about 30 years ago (it took about a week to recover and five years to dump the dog) - we notice a consumer product innovation that really turns us on here at YAME but this one - oh, yeah, this one - is so cool we're thinking of buying a dog. Speaking of dogs.

The green-and-white (no accounting for some people's sense of color) doggie snack shooting pistol - no you don't shoot the dog and you don't shoot the snack either, exactly, you propel the snack out of the pistol - allows you to exercise your dog without moving a single muscle of your own. Well, OK, one muscle, the trigger pulling muscle but that's about it. Not like you have to run across the kitchen, skid on the vinyl, and smack into the wall to get a munchie, or anything like that.

Don't get me started here. I'm not exactly what you'd call an exercise freak but then I don't have a dog to feed, do I. No, that's right, I don't. I sit here all afternoon throwing doggienibble things at the wall just for the sheer cardiovascular joy of the thing, not to make some poor dog look like a dork. Although if you have a dog and want to loan it out for a day or two to come eat some of this stuff - it's getting a little messy, especially in the corners and under the table there - we could talk about that, I suppose.

Also I'm wondering, what if you get so tired from pulling the trigger thing that your aim is off once and you shoot the dog by mistake, and it's a big, mean dog that doesn't especially appreciate being shot in the backside with a knibble. What then? Did they consider that when they dreamed this thing up, I wonder?

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