"Calling whole milk, "whole milk" conjures up rivers of cream," says Roberto A. Ferdman at the Washington Post in a piece entitled "'Whole milk' is actually '3.5% milk.' What’s up with that?"
But no, it doesn't. It conjures up milk, unhomogenized. Like we used to get delivered to our doorstep back in the day, by a guy who also brought the cheese and cottage cheese and eggs and whipping cream. (We all died from cholesterol poisoning years ago except, of course, we didn't—we're still here.)
The milk used to come in bottles—bottles—with the cream at the top in a narrow (or sometimes a specially-shaped bulbous) neck, and anybody who's ever seen milk like that—whole—would not need the Washington Post to tell them about how much of it was cream.
My Mom used to pour the cream off the top to use in coffee, and we drank the rest, which was—you're ahead of me now, aren't you?—skimmed.
"Whole milk" is not wholly cream, Dude, get with the program.
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