And you thought Voltaire's birthday was a big deal.

It is, you know. Voltaire's birthday, I mean. Today. Or at least that's what Garrison Keillor reports in his Writer's Almanac (podcast) for today.

But that's not all - and Keillor ignores this entirely, I had to go to World Weekly News to find out - it's also the anniversary of the day, in 1954, the cocktail umbrella was invented. I mean, where was Writer's Almanac re: that?

I went looking at World Weekly News to check out the cover story about a redneck turkey shoot - "My stomach turned to cranberry sauce when I saw that 10-ft bird!" - or words to that effect - so I wouldn't have to buy it in the grocery store. But it doesn't seem the story, or a decent picture of the cover either, is online. Which may be why.

• But there is lots of big news there, including:
• Health Food Stores Particularly Vulnerable to Alien Attack
• Surprise-Party Death Rate at an All-Time High
• Fat Camp on Moon Boasts Instant Results

And wait! There's more! In the "Intergalactic News" section this report:

• Cash-Strapped NASA Readies Space Needle for Launch

I don't know what cash has to do with it but think - a rotating restaurant in space!