Ducks Quack Under Pressure*

‘Duck Hunters’ flock to party in Oregon - Toledo Blade

"The only trace of green or yellow to be found was the 100 paper ducks, which were soon to be sacrificed in the name of charity. Everywhere else, it was scarlet and gray as far as the eye could see. On the jerseys. And the hats. And the bar stools. And the posters.…"

*Headline contributed by our gloating Midwest and Elsewhere Bureau.