10.16.2006

Not for nothing do they call it Newsweak.

That seems like something a few people in America might like to know, right?

Wrong! It would only confuse and anger Americans, who have enough problems already! That’s why the new U.S. edition is filled with important little tiny short articles such as “Parties: How to Have Fun,” “Rock Music: Secrets of ‘Shredding’” and a very special 400-word article about how 77% of Americans spend most of their time praying to their dead relatives’ ghosts, which are everywhere these days.

(Wonkette)

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