I hate lists—whose idea was that?

Five signs your computer is infected:

"It's like the common cold. You'd think someone would have cured both by now. Unfortunately, it looks like computer viruses are just getting stronger and smarter."

Yeah, well, unfortunately for you, maybe, Bunky, but it's work insurance for tech writers everywhere, not to mention the assorted geeks who blame everything that's wrong with your computer on "a virus." And then, of course, the anti-virus industry.

Come to think of it, viruses might save the national economy single-handed.