So here's today's news: Mark McGwire finally admits what we all knew -- he took steroids in order to hit more home runs than Babe Ruth, who did it on hot dogs and beer. Also this: Sarah Palin will be a commentator for -- who could have ever guessed? -- Fox News! Not that Fox has a political agenda or anything.
OK, guys, I'm a wrinkled, grumpy newspaper guy -- a dinosaur really -- and here's the real news: A record cold snap has frozen sunny Florida, where snowbirds from Ohio return each year like buzzards return to historic Hinckley. (Every little town is historic. Never mind that the history is mostly boring and inconsequential.) But it will warm up again, and there we'll be, driving slowly in the high-speed lanes, squinting through our cataract sunglasses, and clogging up golf courses. The right-wing crazies will eat their young, as they always do, and eventually self-destruct.
-Paul Knue
[The weather in Florida of late has been just about the same as we have here at our global headquarters in Massachusetts, except we seem to have tougher inguanas. We can spare one pair of snowshoes, if anybody down there needs them. -CiC]
No comments:
Post a Comment