A crisis averted

I accidentally consumed 1,000 calories — by licking envelopes for my wedding invitations

But no! Good news! As this NYPost story explains, the frightened bride was using the caloric value of British glue, which can reportedly contain between 5.9 and 14.5 calories on one postage stamp.

Luckily, American envelopes use diet glue. (What else would you expect?)

The Food and Drug Administration initially determined that gum acacia [American glue] obtained about 4 calories per serving, per a 1998 report. However, by the mid-2000s, FDA officials reportedly lowered its measure to around 1.7 calories in each taste — a number that envelope glue experts say now calculates to a paltry 0.1 calories.

Whew. 

And it turns out gum acacia, in addition to being low-cal, can reduce blood glucose and insulin levels.

Bon appetit.