12.17.2021

Just shut up and eat that box

Pentagon looks to microbes to feed troops with air, water, maybe even trash turned to protein

“There is more energy in the packaging of an MRE than in the MRE itself,” ReSource program manager Dr. Blake Bextine said in a statement, using an acronym for Meals, Ready to Eat.

 In days of old the field rations we got included a canned "entree," one each, of which there were four or five varieties, each one of which featured noodles, as I recall. We would get a big pot of water boiling and then all throw our canned entrees into the water to heat them up. This had the added advantage of soaking all the labels off, so we could entertain ourselves by guessing what it was we were eating.

Each packaged ration also included a small pack of toilet paper, half a pack of cigarettes (this was before cancer was invented), and a hot chocolate tablet. The tablet, about the size and consistency of a hockey puck, when soaked long enough in a canteen cup of hot water would soften enough to be gnawed and chewed. It tasted like…a hockey puck. But chocolatey.

Maybe our mistake was not eating the labels.

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