I had peanut motor on my grocery list

I meant peanut butter, of course, but I was multitasking with, appropriately, a peanut butter sandwich when I said it. Siri heard peanut motor. I didn’t correct it because if I really wanted peanut motor, why would I put it on my grocery list? And we have to come to terms with our technology now and then.

When I mean to add meat to my list I say chicken. Meat always comes out “meet,” and everything tastes like chicken anyway. Might as well leave well enough alone.

Sometime in the prehistoric past a singing group called the Smothers Brothers sang “I yelled FIRE when I fell into the chocolate.” Who would come to save you if you yelled CHOCOLATE, the lyric asked. Well, I would, certainly. But maybe not you.

Research performed some time later suggested FIRE is, indeed, exactly the right thing to call out in an emergency, no matter what the emergency might be. Because FIRE is the only thing most people pay attention to. THERE’S A BEAR CHASING ME won’t cut it. Nor CHOCOLATE.

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