One of these days we might get around to fixing something really important

Like those stupid coupons they keep giving me at the drugstore. Usually, they're for hair products (I have no hair), or they're discounts on AA batteries. The only thing I own that runs on AA batteries is my mouse—everything else runs on rechargeable lithium (except one tiny AAA flashlight right over there).

I do not need battery discount coupons every time I buy toilet paper.

Of course…wait…I could always use them for…