The Great Totem Pole Caper - Lowering the Bar
It turned out that the suspect, 69-year-old Charles Jenks, had been dreaming of getting a totem pole for a new home he was building. (He apparently was going to put it inside a two-story stairwell, not just stick it in the lawn where everybody could see it. Because that would be crazy.) I guess these aren't available on eBay, so he decided to steal one in broad daylight. Why he stole two - the second one from outside a grocery store in Oregon - was never explained.
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