THE BOROWITZ REPORT -- In a new video that is light on his usual threats but heavy on admiration, Osama bin Laden admits that he is "professionally envious" of oil giant BP's massive oil spill, saying that it puts his efforts to create destruction and chaos to shame.
"There are times in an evildoer's life when one has to stand back and admire a job well done," Mr. bin Laden says in his latest video. "BP, you blow me away."
link: Andy Borowitz: Bin Laden Says He's 'Professionally Envious' of BP
Speaking of which, why can't we send this Tony Hayward guy to Guantanamo Bay? It's still there, isn't it?
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