WASHINGTON—Organizers reported Sunday that the 44th White House Carnival was a rousing success, raising a record $800,000,066,845 for the federal government—$800 billion of which came from a dunk tank featuring former vice president Dick Cheney.
According to Secretary of the Treasury and carnival volunteer Timothy Geithner, the 5-foot-deep tank has provided a much-needed boost to the nation's flagging economy.
[From Cheney Dunk Tank Raises $800 Billion For Nation | The Onion - America's Finest News Source]
"Damn! We had to go to a crappy pot-luck dinner -- with three different kinds of lasagna and four versions of mac and cheese but, mercifully, none of Aunt Millie's spiced turnips this year -- and I missed my chance. I would have tried the ol' bean ball," says Midwest Bureau Cub Reporter Paul Knue.
1 comment:
Bah hahahahahaha! Love it!
Last summer here in Maine, I suggested to the higher ups in the Democratic Party to put Susan Collins dunk tanks at all the fairs/carnivals to raise money for Tom Allen! And dammit, everyone laughed at the idea, but no one was willing to go through with it. LOL
Great post. Thanks for the laugh (and the glimmer of hope!).
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